Dear Kris

Nora is Asian, not a Westerner and not a caregiver. Just that she's
thoroughly devoted to her husband. They got married 2 weeks after they met
at a rugby tournament. He was a player and she was part of the organising
crew. She was engaged to someone else at the time, let's call him Zamri and
had left him at the altar, so to speak.

When the husband (let's call him Basil) met Nora, her mother had just passed
away from cervical cancer. Nora was a chemical engineering student but taken
much time off from class to take care of her terminally ill mother. So soon
after she passed away, she flet lonely and thought it was good time to
abandon her studies and get married. Become a housewife and be looked after.

She wasn't really keen on Zamri because he comes from the same provincial
town and a little parochial in outlook. She has studied chemical engineering
at a big city university and was more of a city career girl in mentality.

Anyway, all that changed when she met Basil. By the way, Basil, 42, is
nothing to look at. If I were unkind, I'd describe him as a dark, balding
thick-necked toad with a bad temper and a limp. Zamri, by contrast is tall
and somewhat handsome, 27.

When Basil and Nora decided to get married, they went to meet her father.
Somehow a fight ensured and Basil got beat up by the village folk and Nora
was tied to the pillar of her house to prevent her from eloping with Basil.
If I were to hazard a guess this is what had transpired. Nora's father
didn't approve of Basil as he was previously married and had 2 children
(that's what he said but Nora learnt out six months later he had 4 children
and 2 previous marriages. The Basil said Nora had to marry him because he's
taken her virginity and would be of no value anymore. All Nora said of the
incident was that Basil was rude to her father.

Despite being tied to the house pillar, Nora managed to reach some soap and
ate it to make herself sick. She was hospitalised and Zamri, being the
devoted fiance who still loves her, helped her discharge herself from
hospital and help her meet Basil. Basil and Nora then eloped and got married
in Thailand.

They then went to live in the south of the country where Basil was an
assistant estate manager. They lived in a large colonial bungalow and had
servant, gardeners, the works. Nora was truly the maam and didn't have to
lift a finger. She soon gave birth to a son on March 28, 2001 and at the
same time looked after the 4 step-children.

Basil, being the incorrigible womaniser, soon lost his job for some
indiscretion of a sexual nature. They moved and they both went financially
downhill even since then. Nora was forcved to work to support her family and
husband. Her husband, who has a diploma in agriculture told the landlord and
friends that he was pursuing a masters degree. In reality, he slept all day
and enjoyed a risque nightlife.

<I've re-written my earlier piece with the typos corrected.>

I just had a break-up with a gorgeous divorced 27 yr young lady last week.
We met exactly a year ago last Oct and I thought she was unmarried as she
looked only 21. Turned out she was married with a 4 yr old son and 4 step
children from one of her husband's 2 former marriages.

She's 164 cm tall, 48 kg and looks like Jessica Alba. She wears a 36C bra
and her clothes size is small. She is a petite lady with large for her size
bosom and bottom. Devastatingly attracttive. To my eyes at least.

In May this this year, she phoned me at 11 pm one night saying "sorry to
disturb you but i have no one to talk to..."

It turned out her husband had met someone and that lady gave him an
ultimatum ~ your wife or me. And her husband choose the other woman. As
usual, the wife is the last to know. He left the home and started living
with the other woman. Nora was confused and felt betrayed and yet still
loved her husband. Its just that one day she woke up and found herself
divorced, as it were.

I told her I loved her on June 18 after a trip to the beach. She said she
was ready for a relationship or marriage as she felt betrayal and reckons it
would take her some time, months, even, to be able to trust men again.

I subsequently found out that this was a lie. She was secretly screwing her
ex-fiance, Zamri, while leading me on. She gave me the impression that she
may, given time, open her heart to me. In the meantime, I invested deeply in
our relationship, both financially and emotionally. My motivation was faith,
not hope. I believed that if I treated her right, loved her unconditionally
in her time of need (that is, without her loving me back), Gold will reward
me by either opening her heart to me or bringing a more suitable person into
my life. I wasn't being nice to her in order to screw her. I was the perfect
gentleman in that sense.

I learnt of the sexual relationship with Zamri when he called me about a
month ago. Apparently, Nora has not been answering his phone calls. When I
asked her why, she said she didn't see a future with him and didn't want to
give him false hope and so had decided to end the relationship. Zamri asked
me if Nora (she was working or me at the time) was coming to work or had she
been ill. I said she she's been coming to work but had taken 2 days off the
previous week because of nausea and vomitting.

Then Zamri asked me if I had been screwed her. I was aghast but managed to
say no and "have you?" He admitted he has had unsafe sex with her dozens of
times. Zamri thought Nora might be pregnant. I played along and said yes, I
did notice she had a tummy but thought it was just a tight pair of slacks.

The husband, Basil, had been a bit of a rascal. From Jan to May 2005 he had
beenasking her for ($450 a month) money to pay the rent, which he never did.
Instead, he squandered the money on the other woman. He maxed out on Nora's
credit cards by taking cash advances. Nora still loved her husband despite
all this and wanted him to not leave her so she bought him a car. She paid
the down payment and expected him to pay the installments,
which he never did. I had told her that would be the case but she wouldn't
listen to me.

Last month, the car got re-possessed and she borrowed $600 from me to help
pay the $1600 she needed to get the car back. Actually, it was $1900 but she
managed to beg for a discount. from the finance company.

Oh yeah, I'm taking clonazepam 2 mg a night to help me sleep. I know from
experience that accumulated sleep loss due to a life crisis tends to trigger
an episode. I also phone the Befrienders for someone to talk to and help me
regain a better outlook on life.

I know this peice is a bit disjointed and missing large chunks of pertinent
episodes but its a work in progress. I write as a form of therapy, catharsis
and a way to understand my predicament.

As such please feeel free to comment, ask for clarification or whatever.

Thank you

(",)::~~~


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