Hi

I'm so glad I managed to get onto this group so quickly. I'm not
even sure that I am bipolar, but it seems to fit the bill pretty
well. I've been sinking lower into depression for the last few
weeks, and don't feel I can write too much now, although I would love
to write and write and get everything off my chest. I have two small
children - the younger one has only just gone to sleep. My husband
is an alcoholic living with his mother at the moment, so that adds to
my stress. He says he has stopped drinking now and is going to AA,
but I have my doubts. He comes here every weekend and we are
expecting to get back together sometime soon.

But that's another story - sorry. I haven't got the energy to go
into everything now, but would like to briefly say what is
particularly pointing me in the direction of bipolar tonight.
Firstly my bad track record with antidepressants. I tend to get
depressed, eventually go and see the doctor, take them for a bit,
then not go back for a repeat prescription either because I feel
better and think I must have exaggerated everything, or because they
don't seem to be working and now I think about it I'm having a mild
manic period - lots of frenzied ranting, hyperactivity etc. I have
some really out of control tantrums against my nearest and dearest
that I am pretty embarrassed about really- almost worthy of the Jerry
Springer (is that his name?) show, when to other people I'm quite a
quiet, decent, sensible middle-class woman really. also I've got
myself in some very silly and difficult situations in the past which
were also very uncharacteristic, and again, those nearest and dearest
who never miss a trick still find some periods in my life quite
inexplicable.

I won't go on, I just want to sit and feel sorry for myself for a
bit, and then go to bed. I'd just like to say though that if I were
diagnosed as bp it would be a huge weight off my mind. How on earth
would I go about this though? Would my GP believe me? Would I have
to convince them to send me to a psychiatrist? Any advice
appreciated.

Many thanks
Dawn