Hi Laura The Code of Practice clearly states that you should havea
third person in the meeting if at all possible and I htink it is good
to tell the daughter that such a code exists to promote good
practice. Show her a copy if need be. This is such a common
situation nowadays.

Best wishes
richard
Richard Radcliffe FInstF Cert
01480 477 628
0777 189 6680
Legacy fundraising training for staff volunteers and trustees. Legacy
focus groups and strategic development






--- In Legacymarketing@..., "Iain McAndrew"
<iain.mcandrew@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Laura,
>
> I would advocate caution here - what all seems to have family
approval Y& consent can turn in an instance if the true value of the
gift left exceeds what they may have believed was going to be the
case. If there is any concerns around capacity then the family or a
solicitor need to be involved - rather than respond to the specifics
of this on line - if you care to give me a call and we can talk
through in more depth.
>
>
> Iain
>
>
>
>
> Iain McAndrew
> Legacy Development & Promotions Team
>
> Tel: Main Office 0845 6031477
> Tel: Home Office 01227 730323
> Mob: 07825 20 2175
>
>
> The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association
> Hillfields
> Burghfield Common
> Reading
> Berkshire RG7 3YG
> website: www.guidedogs.org.uk
>
> Registered Office: Hillfields, Burghfield Common, Reading,
> Berkshire, RG7 3YG
> Registered Charity No. 209617
> A company limited by guarantee Registered in England Company No.
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>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Legacymarketing@...
[mailto:Legacymarketing@...] On Behalf Of Laura
Serratrice
> Sent: Friday, February 08, 2008 1:11 PM
> To: Legacymarketing@...
> Subject: [Legacymarketing] Forgetful elderly lady
>
>
>
> Dear All,
>
> I hope someone can offer some advice on a difficult situation.
>
> One of our graduates, an elderly lady (85), is very keen to
support
> the University with a legacy. On her request, I went to see
her a
> week ago and we discussed her wishes at great length, and set
out
> options for support (a scholarship, potentially two
scholarships, in
> fact, and maybe an additional large gift to a building).
>
> As requested, I have set everything out in a very clear
summary, with
> covering letter, and everything else she had asked me to send
her.
> We made a telephone appointment for me to call her last night
to
> check that she had received everything and whether she had
any
> questions at this stage. I should say that I posted the
follow up
> letter by special delivery.
>
> When I called last night, she had very little recollection of
what we
> had discussed and she said that the letter had not arrived.
>
> She did ask me to send it again, and she said she is keen to
sort out
> her legacy arrangements.
>
> My dilemma is this:
>
> - The lady is genuinely keen to support the University in
memory of
> her late husband and brother in law;
>
> - Her short term memory, however, is not what it should be;
>
> - I asked if she wanted to involve her children during our
first
> meeting and she said that she did not;
>
> - Last night I asked again if she wanted me to send the
documents to
> her daughter and she said she didn't want that.
>
> - When we met, she made it very clear that she feels she has
given
> enough financial support to her two children over the years
and that
> they are both well off (her son is in fact a millionaire, and
her
> daughter has been given two houses, with no mortgage). She
doesn't
> want to hide her intentions from her children but she wants
to let
> them know AFTER she has finalised her arrangements.
>
> My concerns are:
>
> 1) That, due to her memory problems, it might be difficult to
> actually achieve her legacy being arranged as she said she
wishes;
> and that I am just going to be sending the same letter over
and over
> again.
>
> 2) I have been thinking of involving her daughter. The
daughter is
> also a graduate of the university, and is aware that we are
having
> discussions with her mother regarding the legacy. When I
spoke to her
> she said that she could not be present at the meeting, but
that she
> was quite happy with whatever her mother was going to decide
> regarding her legacy, though she may not be aware that we
discussed
> gifts totalling just over £1m.
>
> 3) That if a legacy agreement is achieved without the
children's
> involvement or consent before the fact, the University could
be
> accused of undue influence.
>
> I am convinced that this lady is not stringing us along and
does
> actually want to support us and with a sizeable gift too, but
I don't
> want to "make" her do it if she is not totally in control of
her
> mental faculties.
>
> Does anyone have any advice about how to handle cases like
this?
>
> I look forward to hearing from you & thanks very much in
advance.
> Kind regards
> Laura
>
> ---------------
> Laura Serratrice
> Planned Giving Manager
> University of Bristol
>