Mulder saw the blush and reacted quickly, not wanting the atmosphere
to turn awkward, especially since they were so comfortable around each
other by now.

"You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"No, no, that's okay." rushed Monica "I don't mind. We're actually
talking, finding out about each other and I would like that to
continue." there were a couple of seconds of silence while she
gathered her thoughts

"You know, I had my whole life planned out when I was younger and it
was nothing like it turned out. I'd graduate from high school at 18,
from college at 22, get married by 26, have 2 children by 30,... Now
I'm 34 and, aside from the first 2, none of my plans came true. Even
though my mother was deeply religious I never was, even though she had
tried to make me. Mainly because organized religion turns me off. I
never like to feel like a pawn in someone's plans, either that of a
superior being or of the clergy. Or of some stupid politician. As for
the other things... I guess I just never met the right man to start a
family with. I don't want to settle down for the sake of having a
family, god no, I'm not that desperate. I'd settle down only if I'd
really love the man, everything else would just come naturally."

Mulder grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, making Monica
blush at the realization of how her words had sounded.

She had realized quite early on, after Mulder had risen from the dead,
that he had a dirty mind.

She'd heard Scully mutter something about 'dirty videos that weren't
his' and the conclusion wasn't hard to draw.

A man who was single for a long time had to find release some way.
Better porn than going out to some bar and pick up strangers, either
ending up with an STD or with an unwanted child. No method of birth
control is 100% effective and even barren women aren't sometimes so
barren. Mulder and Scully's one night stand with consequences just
proved that. Besides, she wasn't that innocent herself, as her
battery-operated intimate friend in her underwear drawer could confirm.

"And then I met John. Can't say it was love at first sight, but he was
still married at that point. With time I fell in love with him and it
is why I came to the X-Files. But over these past few months I've
realized that nothing will ever come from that. He's still in love
with his ex-wife and I can't blame him for that. He's just one of
those rare men that, when they fall in love, they fall in love for
life. It took me time to realize that, time I could've used to see if
there is the right one for me out there. Soon after I John met and he
got divorced I just stopped looking, hoping that he'd see me as more
than just a friend some day. But it never happened and I realized that
it never will. And now I'm 34 and single, without a prospect of it
changing any time soon."

She stopped there and her eyes narrowed as she realized something.
"You know, we've talked about Scully and you, but you never said what
your plans were or what you want, not wanted. So, spill it, buster, I
want the full disclosure."

Mulder grinned sheepishly. "You got me. And I thought it was going so
well... Woe me, now I have to give you the full monty."

Monica choked and giggled at the phrase. Well, the naked truth is
something like stripping. She'd hoped that Mulder wouldn't give her a
real full monty and start stripping right there and then. On the other
hand...

'He is a very attractive male specimen, even though he'd recently been
tortured by aliens (had the weird scars to prove it), experimented
upon, killed, was dead, buried, was under the ground for months,
excavated and risen had from the dead. He certainly is resillient and
that's a good trait for a man. Comes in quite handy in marriage, it
means that he wouldn't take his things and run at the first sign of
trouble and complications.'

Monica shook her head. 'I've been single for too long. Now I'm
thinking of Mulder and marriage in the same sentence. Even though the
man is in love and having a baby with another woman. Yet, he'd told me
that he and Dana would never be more than friends, even with the
baby... I've got to stop this line of thought. Focus, Monica!'

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