Hi Farm Chicken

I know where you're coming from about stressful public places. I
often find the same. With pubs, I think I just gradually built up to
coping with the overcrowding, and now it only gets too much when you
can't stand still due to people walking past. I also find going to
public Swimming pools overwhelming, but can just about bear it.

You mention difficulties with Aspie get-togethers. In my experience
any Aspies that you do meet in an organised Aspie event will
understand any idiosynracies you might display and will accept them.
I don't think there would be much point an Aspie turning up to such
an event if they were going to make fun or not be understanding of
Aspies that are 'different' from themselves. In my experience, it's
much easier to be relaxed around other Aspies, because they don't
make the unrealistic expectations of others social performance that
NT's often do. I meet other Aspies for the first time back in
December, and felt like I knew them already.

Take Care

Dean



Hullo there! hope you do not mind me adding a bit to this....
>
> For original message see below...
> I agree that going to pubs is definitely out for people affected by
> Aspergers in the way that it affects me. I think that a pub is a
> horrible place to try to socialise, especially if the acoustics are
> bad and you cannot hear everyone properly. Worse still are
flashing
> and confusing lights from gaming machines, loud conversations,
> scraunching chairs and furniture, crashing cutlery and crockery,
> noisy glass-washing equipment, piped "muzac" and the smells of
> perfume, smoke and beer.
>
> I can just about bear a Wetherspoon pub if it has a non-smoking
> section and tables that are screened off in quiet upholstered
booths
> and I am with people who know me and my strange reactions to
> unfamiliar surroundings.
>
> I agree with the swimming. Again, there is a problem with the
> unpredictability of the place, strange echoes and screeches, the
> stench of chlorine and the odd way in which people's speech "echoes
> off the waves on the surface on the water. Changing rooms are an
> absolute minefield of navigation, codes of behaviour and smells of
> strong perfume and other chemicals. If I go swimming in a pool, I
> end up more stressed than when I went in...
>
> I hope people do not see this as being too "negative", I just want
to
> highlight what the problems are for me, so that other people
reading
> this site will not feel that they are the only ones who feel like
> this. It is also helpful to point these fears out to trustworthy
> friends so that they can help you over the difficulties. My
friends
> usually do and we cope fairly well as a result.
>
> My social life is similar in that I spend time in the library
> communicating, or the occasional visit to a supermarket. However I
> am always somewhat nervous about an Aspie get to-gether without
> someone who understands the condition there (as a sort of
> facilitator) to help us all get along. I find that you can very
> quickly mis-interpret what others are thinking or saying to you,
and
> if you are not careful the whole thing could de-generate into some
> sort of discord.
>
> I agree about supermarkets though. This is one of my bugbears. If
> only the supermarkets could give you a plan of the layout of the
> shelves, the whole experience would be a lot less traumatic. And
> they really need to do something about the terrible acoustics.
> Rustling bags, shouting children, tannoys, odd beeps and alarms,
> ringing tills, telephones, clanging and odd screehes from trolley
> wheels, crashing of tins/other products, cutlery/crockery crashing
> about in the restaurant, scraunching chair legs etc etc all bounce
> off from the plain ceiling and reverberate around and cause me to
> have a sort of "audio overload".
>
> They do not help with the visual distractions such as repeating
> patterns of the labels of products on the shelves, distracting
> advertising material, frightening mirrors and bright lights.
>
> Then there are the dreadful disinfectant smells mingling with
smells
> from the bakery and strong after-shave and perfumes that customers
> and staff spray into the air.
>
> Ugh! I shudder at the thought of it all. I usually try to "cop
out"
> by ordering over the internet but that gets me into all sorts of
> trouble with my therapists who tell me that I have to face up to
> these things.
>
> Anyway, as usual, I hope this has helped everyone to understand how
> these things can affect someone with Aspergers. As you say, we
need
> to make our voices heard and get something done. Even if it
ensures
> that relatives, friends and therapists have a greater understanding
> of why we reach meltdown from time to time, and try to think of
other
> methods apart from a "chemical cosh" to help us overcome them.
>
> Must go
>
> Take care, Shaun, and look after yourself
>
>
> Out of library time again
>
> Jannie the farm chicken
>
> --- In aspiesdugout@..., Shaun Braid
<greenledge@y...>
> wrote:
>
> Thank you for your posts on meds. Feeling a lot better, although
> still have night sweats. I used to be very shy, I still dont go
out
> to the pub beacause i find such places boring and the thought of
> drinking alcolhal and paying a premium for the duboius honour of
> making a publican rich!
>
> I find our diversity very interesting, I hate swimming, very
> uncomfortable in cold pools.with loads of strangers doing an
activity
> i cant see the point in. However skateboarding is something I
really
> enjoy, took be ages to balance on a board let alone roll along.
Still
> once i have made my mind up, nothing will stop me from achieving.
>
> The idea of a social group is a very broad term in my mind, my
first
> action will be to start by setting up a yahhoo group for point of
> contact, like what we do now, if persons are interested in say a
> activity thats the course to take.
>
> NO PRESSURE TO PARTICIPATE.NO PRESSURE TO MEET. I dont believe in
the
> word "SHOULD" my life is more about "COULD".
>
> I am also intersested in helping start a branch of NAS, which i am
> chasing at the moment. This would then include persons like our
> selves and our carers/parents /freinds and enlightened NT's. At
the
> moment my social life is going to the libary to go on the internet
(so
> much to study and learn!) and going to sainsburys to shop. This
last
> activity has become a little bit more complicated becuse they've
> built an extension and changed the lay out. I felt so comfortable
> when it was small, now shopping takes twice as long.
>
> Your probly right about the shyness dimesion, however if i dont
> stretch myself how will i learn. THe provac crap i was on calmed
me
> down then made me very hyper, I was talkin to everyone( not
> neccasarily good considering my limited interest) now the drug is
> diminishing and i talking less.
>
> I suppose that living on the street,doing mental health work(wish i
> never worked in now) has made me more Extrovert in vocalising,
> however conversations i find diffucult to focus on and i tend to
> drift off into thinking about something entirally different. Since
my
> diagnosis 120th April 2003, i have been discovering so much about
> myself, however i think my last meltdown was due to said as my mind
> could not cope with all the information on asp and getting through
> the day.
>
> Got to go now libary closing.