Hullo Greenledge and other readers,

I will have a go at defining "emotional intelligence", but it is not
easy for me because I am always being told that I do not have this.

I think it is something to do with knowing instinctively what other
people are thinking and how they are reacting to you.

This ought to be easy to do but I find it extremely difficult. For
example you are supposed to be able to tell from the recipient's body
language and posture if you have been talking for too long about one
subject. Or, in a work situation, if you are in a hurry and need a
report or piece of work from a colleage quickly so that you can
finish your project and time-targets you are NOT supposed to do the
following:

say "Tom, I need that report you promised me NOW as I have to finish
my project within the next 30 minutes"

What you are SUPPOSED to do is engage Tom in "small talk" first, e.g.
chat to him about the weather or his family BEFORE you ask him for
the report.

If I am stressed or in a hurry, I often forget to do this, and then
my line manager would write in my performance appraisal report that I
was "blinkered" or "rude" in my approach to my work.

I hope this helps. If anyone out there has a better definition
of "Emotional Intelligence", I would welcome the help. I really
neeed to know what this is, as not knowing it causes me so many
problems at work and at home.

Yours for aye,
Jannie the farm Chicken