Hi Tim, and everyone else,

This subject of whether or not one is an Aspie is very dear to my
heart. About three years ago I was convinced I was AS since it
seemed to explain all of my problems with other people - no eye
contact, sticking to routines, avoiding interaction, preferring
numerate subjects at school etc. Since then I have undergone a LOT
of therapy, and found a whole load of guilt and shame issues lurking
down in my psyche that I wasn't aware were having such an impact.

My understanding is simple. People with AS, or 'high' in the
autistic spectrum have difficulty understanding the links between
feelings and behaviour. They don't seem to be able to interpret body
language, facial expressions etc in the way that 'normal' people
might. When I discovered this, I felt it fitted my position
perfectly - I always felt lost with those aspects of life.

There are another group of people though, that have been so
undervalued, ignored, abused and discredited in their childhood,
that they deliberately avoid any proper interaction, for fear that
the response will be further abuse and humiliation. They
deliberately avoid making the connections between behaviour and
feelings because they cannot bear to witness what the other person
is feeling - they are so used to it being 'bad news'.

The result - the behaviour - as the child matures and becomes an
adult is identical. But the causes are poles apart. One is through
lack of understanding and is accidental, whereas the other was
initially caused with full understanding and was deliberate as a
form of protection.

I am passionate about this, because I feel that a number of people
(it may only be a vey small minority, but who can say?) are being
wrongly diagnosed with AS and giving up hope of a fulfilling life. I
nearly did myself. It's not an easy road - learning to believe in
yourself again, and re-learning all of those interactions that we
should have learned in infancy.