Hello people. I had been reading a lot about autism, AS and I've found
a lot of problems and holes in those descriptions. Basicly if yo read
somewhere description of AS it says: the person might have social
problems, ... might have disability to understand non-verbal
nomunication... he might have that... and so on... So, if a person
doesn't have those problems he still might be autistic? I don't think
so... The problem is that not all people diagnosed with any form of
autism have the same symtoms. And that is logical - becouse everyone
is different in some way, and some might have problems, that other
don't. But they still have the same disorder, wich is abnormal brain
pathology. Neuron conections in autistic brain differ from
neurotypical and that causes different methods of understanding the
world. Docs always say that autistic people see the world in different
colours or something like that. So the problem is spotting that
difference. All those criterias who you have to fit in order to get
official diagnosis are subjective. Thats just perception of things.
For example if someone asked me do I stick to routine, I'd say
"definitely NOT". But thats just my opinion. And in fact I do. Well
not as much as you people, but still I like doing things my way over
and over again. I don't have some sort of ritual like eating or going
to sleep at a specific hour. (Don't know wheather you do, could anyone
write?)
One of the storngest and most important trait is problems with
comunication - difficulty understanding non-verbal comunication, bad
social skils. But again you might read somewhere that autistic people
only "might" have problems in this area. And I don't think so. I think
this one is the biggest trait. And if you don't have it, you're not
autistic. And I don't. I know, that might be just my opinion, but I
never had problems understanding other people, reading body languadge
and face expressions. I think I'm even good at it, better than most
people. I've seen a lot of people in my life you don't see or don't
want to see other people emotions and thoughts. And I always notice
such things - small changes in behaviour, voice temper. I can always
say when someone is happy, borred, angry. Maybe he tries to hide those
emotions and most people just won't see them, or won't try to see
them, but I do. And that means that I'm not an aspie.
But of corse this does'nt explain other problems, that are identified
as symptoms of AS. But most of the symtoms can be related to other
psychological problems. For example shyness is a sign of Avoidant
personality disorder, bad social skils can relate to Schizoid
personality disorder. And those are in fact very similar to AS, at
least in some cases. And I've heard about situations, where some
people are diagnosed with AS and later diagnosis is corrected to SPD.
That means that even docs can't always distinguish them. The other
think is simple temperasment. Lots of you probably could find a lot in
common with INTP personality profile (I personaly think it was written
exactly about me:)) The same social isolation, unwillingness to share
interests, strong attraction to finding out something, knowing how
things work etc. And most AS descriptions incude these factors as on
of the symptoms. So where the difference? I find difference in
systemizing ability. Most of you, if not all, are very gooda at
numbers. You can easily remember phone numbers, PIN codes, are good at
math, physics. And I don't have any of these traits. I must write donw
a phone number, becouse after 5 seconds I won't remember it. I was
never good at math. I was pretty OK in physics but only those areas
where you don't have to count things. The biggest advantage in school
and know in university i find in history. I always found it very easy.
I could take the exam almost without lerning, the knowlege from
classes was enough. Then biology. But it was too boring and I didn't
want to study it. Baslicly I am realist, always looking for truth and
justice in the world:). Yes, I avoid eye contact, but that might be
becouse of other reasons. I have a face defect and I hate to see other
people looking at me, so I turn my eyes away. But that might be just
my opinion. I also don't feel confortabile with intimacy. When I was a
kid, I didn't feel comfortabily in family hugs and stuff like that. I
don't talk much, can't form a conversation with other people. But all
that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm autistic.