--- In aspiesdugout@..., "Jonners" <jonmartin@b...> wrote:
>

HI

Well, wow, what can I say, 'cept I know exactly what you mean, sorry
this reply is so late, but i've only just joined. I have had some very
negative experiences during my childhood, and we do tend to treat
others as we have been treated, as we learn by example when we are
children. The difference is that, in the case of my father, who is
a 'classic Aspie'; Whilst he knows that he is ostracised, and feels
very sad about that at times, he is totally oblivious to the reasons
why, even at 73. He is of the opinion that it is all the other people
around him that are stupid and ignorant scum, and that he is of a far
higher intelligence and order, therefore he has built his own
protection, as he has been hurt so badly in the past because he has
never been diagnosed, and has always been misunderstood. He is unable
to reflect on his own behaviour in a critical way, and cannot see how
his behaviour is perceived by others. He gets very agressive if you
question his actions or statements. I once dared to ask him if he felt
that he may have AS like my daughter, but he got very upset, and I had
to pacify him by telling him that it is generally a condition of the
highly intelligent, but he still got obsessed about it for a while, and
needed much reassurance.

The only way that my dad has survived is by creating his own world, and
surrounding himself with all that is important to him. He is very lucky
to have my mum, who is dedicated to him ( although his is very unkind
to her), and I visit almost daily to lift some of the stress, as he
really is badly affected.

Living with dad when I was a child was a nightmare. Sorry to all the
aspies out there who are excellent, intelligent parents, I know that
dad was in a minority, and I grew up displaying many aspie tendancies.
As a strange twist of fate, my first born daugher was born with AS and
has a diagnosis and receives a full time statement at school as a
result. She is so much like dad, and it made me realise that I do not
have AS, although some things I thought and did were similar, it really
was nurture rather than nature. I love my daughter and we have a very
special relationship thanks to the experience of dad.

The bottom line is, it doesn't matter whether you are a true "Aspie" or
not, if the thoughts and behaviour is there, then support is needed,
and help with learning to cope in this very judgemental world that we
live in.

Sorry to waffle, but if you've read this far - thanks

Liz