Well, I went to the psychologist yesterday and he said he is pretty
sure I am Aspergers. WHich still leaves me with a lot of questions.
Is it possible that I seemed more wierd than I was because I was very
nervous and fidgeting with things? I am not sure. He also asked
about my eye contact which is very bad (I find it very nervous to
look at people's eyes).

I am not sure that I do seem very normal to most people. I can kind
of put on an act (I think of it as being like my sister, who is very
unlike me) for a short period but by the time people know me for a
period of more than, about an hour, they tend to start thinking I am
a bit wierd or even mad. This gives me a lot of problems. I am the
same with the Cambridge thing, I went there in 1997 to do natural
sciences but I did not do well at all, because I did not understand a
lot of the work (they do not give clear instructions or ask questions
in an understandable way) and I do not seem to ever get a proper
job. I would definitely find it better doing something technical,
like you all say, but I just do not get the chance for any jobs
except informal ones, because I am so bad at interview perhaps, and
also they all seem to want 'people skills'. I hope I can try and do
the masters degree and then do research, but I am not sure if I am
able to do academic (meaning abstract) work at such a high level...
My problems with work are often that I am too honest e.g. if the boss
does something stupid, I will normally tell them and they don't
appreciate this. It makes me annoyed that a lot of people who don't
work as hard or thouroughly as I do keep the jobs, just because they
lie about these things.
re: with your children, which two of you say you have, did you have
any trouble looking after them? I have a daughter, she is 1 now, and
I found it easy when she was a baby but now she makes a great noise
and mess, which I find it really stressful. She will go to part time
childcare soon, and I do like playing with her a lot, but I don't
know whether I am just lazy or it is the Aspergers, that I find it so
hard when she is determined to throw food everywhere or shout! Not
that I am too tidy, but I just try to run around catching everything
she throws (I am paranoid about mouldy food which was another thing
which gave me problems at university housing), and it makes me
exhausted, although she seems to find it very funny! I have problems
living with my partner also, which are mainly to do with
interpretation (and he will just keep on talking when I am
being 'bombarded with noises and words') and also being crowded. We
try to treat these fairly without getting angry with each other, and
mostly it because of where we are living (in a very tiny flat because
we are soon moving house), but I can't tell whether I am being just
nasty or if it is an 'autistic behaviour'. I am trying to have a
sense of humour about this whole thing, and my life generally is not
bad, I like a lot of things, but I am interested to know of any
practical strategies which can be used to get out of these problems?

But thankyou for your help because I am sure now, I have not been
polite in writing all this complaining...

--- In aspiesdugout@y..., sarah holmes <minkstole24@y...> wrote:
>
> Hi gnr,
> I have not had an official diagnosis but am considering asking for
one. I am married and have 2 children with ASD, and a third with
dyslexia. My father was a typical aspie, and was accepted to
Cambridge University to study maths, aged 16. Sadly, this talent has
not passed to me!!
> Anyway, my point is that you can be a relatively normal person on
the outside, perhaps not to your direct family though, and still be
an aspie.As you are aware, in many ways we function very well in the
normal world, especially at technical jobs in the workplace, it is
however with people that the problems arise. My husband says I lack
all common sense, and yet somehow managed to attain good college
grades.I have no idea what to say to someone who is upset or in a bad
mood. I cannot be around people for too long without craving quiet
space to calm my nerves and I do not seem able to maintain adequate
levels of self esteem without being drugged up on anti depressants
and anti anxiety pills.This is because I am so acutely aware of my
failings as a wife, sister, daughter and friend to those close to
me.I just don't get it, whatever it is.
> So, there are a lot of us out here and it is a comforting thought
to know you are not alone in this often alien world. I do believe
though that we possess many qualities and good points that our NT
pals do not have in abundance. We are kind to people,animals and
children. We rarely intentionally hurt anyone.We are loyal and do not
betray our loved ones or say hurtful things about them to others. We
have a purity and innocence of thought, a bit like a child.We are
great with detail, often exhibiting perfectionist traits.We are not
generally lazy, we work hard and do not skive off.We do not take sick
days unless really quite ill.We are honest with money and are
trustworthy when given possessions to look after etc.We ask for very
little emotionally from people, yet still love them dearly, albeit in
a non demonstrative way. We say what we mean and do not make false
promises.We have a lot to teach others, if only they would stop
thinking how odd we all are to them.
> Hope this helps a bit,
> LOL Sarah.
> rain <the_wodon@h...> wrote:HI there,
>