Dear Everyone

>Did any of you manage to see the TV programme on Wed night 30 July on BBC2
>I think it was. It was about a single mother in Blackpool who has 7 children
>(husband seems to have disappeared), 4 of whom either have autism/aspergers/and
>dyspraxia disorders. The mother does not have an autism disorder. The children
>were very hard to deal with and the household was mess and chaos, but the
>mother was doing the best she could given her circumstances. She said that
>the hardest part is going out in public.

This would be about Luke Jackson's family - the young lad who wrote "Freaks,
Geeks and Asperger's syndrome" some time ago. The BBC made two programs about
them, one a play with Helena Bonham-Carter playing the mother and the other a
documentary with the family themselves. I think they originally went out on BBC4
- I could be wrong there, but I remember them well since these were the programs
which turned out to be the "lightbulb" moment for me, which everyone seems to
have
one way or another where they suddenly realise "I'm just like that!"

>It was an eye opener for me to see someone else's households daily life,
however
>what shocked me was that my household is just the same and in some instances
worse.
>Because I am a mother and I have Aspergers and my son has finally been
diagnosed
>with dyspraxia (but it could be more than that - he is aged 6) and my 4 year
old
>son is showing early signs of Aspergers too (he cant stand noise, the feel of
lots
>of clothes, cant deal with change, is super bright etc) I feel that I have to
cope
>with about the same load, if not more, because I cant think straight when I
have
>to multi task and when sensory perceptions become too much. She had the same
dreadful
>experience at the supermarket that I do (but only with her children, not her)
but I
>have it with 2 kids and with myself. What I'm wanting to have a whinge about
is that
>support is so very scarce. I've just been onto as many autism/asperger
websites as I
>can find, only to discover that most resources seem to be aimed mainly at
people who
>have to deal with autistic spectrum disorders. I went to the Wessex autism
website
>- it seems to cater to everyone except us. Does anyone know where I can go to
a
>monthly meeting where I can get together with Aspergers people. Or are there
any
>annual conferences for us, those Adults with Aspergers. Everything seems to be
>geared towards educating carers and catching symptoms in children early and
dealing
>with children. Are we the forgotten ones - those adults who in many instances
have
had to battle through life for years and years before finding out that they have
Aspergers.

That last sentence is me to a T.

There is a general feeling that most support services are aimed at kids, and
little
realisation that these kids grow up - this is recognised by all sorts of people,
including
academics like Tony Attwood, Simon Baron-Cohen and Digby Tantam, all of whom
have written papers
or books at one time and another about adults with Aspergers or aimed at adults
with Aspergers.
So lots of realisation but precious little funding We have a local group, the
chairwoman of which
has tried to influence groups aimed at the parents of kids and been thrown out
when they realised
it was her that was autistic not her children. You might get lucky if you talk
to the local
Jobcentre - I did and they put me in touch with all that we get in terms of
local support, in
my case, this was a local group with monthly meetings and the local branch of
Prospects (run by the NAS)

The NAS wrote a report called "Ignored or Ineligible" about Asperger's in Adults
in 2001. This
might give you a clue as to society's attitudes.

I first saw the programs at the end of 2005 - I think they may have been repeats
though!
And that was when I realised I had Asperger's as well. It took me from then to
last December
to get any kind of recognition that I was what I was by anyone in health care,
and that was
after writing many letters to my MP. I'm in Scotland, I guess you are in England
since you
mention Wessex.

This has turned my employer's attitude as well - I'd come across the sort of
manager who
thought I was just lazy or defective, but now I have a formal diagnosis their
attitude
has altogether changed. That makes me lucky I guess. I was reading yesterday
about
a woman who was wrongly diagnosed or not diagnosed at all for over 30 years,
including some
time in prison. I'm not stupid, I have a first degree in Physics and a Masters
in Engineering,
but I was being treated like a dumb shmuck.

>I know I'm new but am I missing something. Where are the resources that should
be there
>for us. I must be blind because I cant find anything. And its ten times worse
when your
>parents and family just dont want to know about it.

There generally aren't any - you're not blind! I suspect you have to fight for
what you get.
But there are so many people with Asperger's you might well find a local support
group if
you keep your eyes open.

>I'm a bit down in the dumps today!

>Lisa

Some one once told me I'd probably been depressed all my life. Since I'm 58 now
that's a long time!
Get a copy of Mozart and the Whale as well!

John Wright