Hi Paul and to everyone reading

Thank you for writing and looking into this group.
I like yourself was once atheist. In fact I was a atheist most of my life. I
like yourself didn't understand many things. Most of my life most people didn't
want anything to do with me. All I wanted was to be loved. I had a very rough
school life and hardly had no friends. I was raised by atheist parents but
loving parents.I had a good family life but terrible school and peer life. I was
considered one of the most unpopular kids in school and high school as well.
Even my high school gradation was terrible and I got into a physical fight and
cursed at my peers and teachers. I was a troubled teen.
When I went to school I was suspended for fighting and destroying property I did
it because I was abused by some of my teachers and students and I attempted to
kill myself. Then my school recommended a good psychiatrist Dr.Barry Miller this
was one of the worst mistakes my parents made.
His method was to force you to change in a nonloving way.
He sent me to a mental hospital. Where you had to live on a level system to earn
privileges they were four level systems.
I was on level zero meaning I only can see my parents once every two weeks for
15 mins. My behavior had to improve to move up a level. I couldn't sleep because
the lights were always on. I was sent there March 1987. The most of the staff
was always seemed to unkind. Then in April 1987 because I refused to cooperate
and was doing poorly Dr.Miller recommended I would not have any vistors at least
one month then I attacked him and gave him a black eye and staff restrained me
and put me in windowless room. I refused to eat and everytime I saw Dr. Miller I
tried to attack him and then I lost a lot of weight because of my refusal to eat
I just wanted to die and then I got very weak and was forced out of the room and
they put me on IV's where some liquids were keeping me alive. I was released out
of the mental hospital I didn't even knew what month it was until I was released
in November 1987. I found out my grandfather died while I was in there I didn't
even get to say goodbye to him. After that I started to believe there was no
God. I got better once I left high school my life got a little better.But still
I had a hard time making friends and no one wanted anything to do with me
because I had AS I wanted a woman so bad I never dated in high school nor dated
in my 20's. So In 1998 I tried a mail order bride service and met Maria Tiliana
who lived in Russia. Im figured I couldn't lose because she wanted to come and
live in the United States and wanted to get out of Russia. So in 1999 I went to
Russia to meet her and she was so beautiful and I stayed a month.
Then after my visit I made plans of bringing her here and last I heard from her
she wanted a few hundred dollars so I sent it to her and I e-mailed several
times and then I went to her profile she changed her profile in her profile it
said that she was looking for austraillian men. My heart was broken and I tried
to kill myself with sleeping pills and I woke up in a hospital bed and was angry
that I was alive. After I got out of the hospital I decided that I wasn't going
to find anybody and I couldn't die by my own hand so I decided to find a job and
find harlots for female compionship. I applied for a job at Agri Starts and
first met Oliver Patterson the only few people that showed interest in me and he
was wondering why I was so sad and he asked me do you belive in God and Jesus
Christ I said no they don't exist. He tried so many times I got angry and wanted
him off my back but I was surprised he still cared and still wanted me to be his
friend it took a few months he wanted me to go to church. Then finally I gave in
and went to Calvary Chapel of Orlando then Pastor Gib Allen who is the pastor of
my church spoke and he said things that scared the heck out of me but in a
gentle and loving way but he didn't mention my name it was like he could read my
mind. I didn't tell anyone these things even Oliver how could he know. Then next
week I went to a county fair and I man handed me a booklet. This is what it
said: Smile Jesus Loves You, do you feel like nobody really cares? Well God
Cares! He knows all about you and he sends you this message. What is a
Christian? Are you a Christian? After you have answered this question,read the
next four bible verses.Then you will know whether you really are a christian as
taught by the Word of God. The bible says,For all have sinned and come short of
the glory of God.
Romans 3:23. Have you ever lied or taken anything that belonged to someone else?
Then you have sinned,haven't you? The Bible says For the wages of sin is death
but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23.
That's right sin separates us from God. If we die in our sins we are eternally
lost and forever separated from God. But God offers another way. If we are
willing to turn from our sins we can have eternal life free as a gift. This
means we can't earn it by being good or by going to church or by baptism or
anything else. We simply receive it as a free gift through Jesus Christ God,
Son. The Bible says but as many as received him to them gave he power to become
the sons of God John 1:12. Suppose you had an incurable diease and one day you
read of a doctor who had discovered the cure for that disease. Let's suppose he
offered to give you this cure free. What would your answer be receive it and be
cured or refuse it and be lost? You can have faith that the doctor's medicine
will cure you but unless you receive it personally you are still lost. Have you
taken the step of faith to receive Jesus Christ personally as your saviour?
Jesus said behold I stand at the door and knock if any man hear my voice and
open the door I will come in to him. Revelation 3:20. When the Lord says behold
I stand at the door he is speaking about the very door of your heart. If your
best friend knocked at the door of your house what would you say to him? You
would say come in wouldn't you? Friend the Lord Jesus is knocking at your
heart's door right now. Will you receive him?Will you invite him into your heart
and life? What will your answer be? You can receive Jesus right now if this
prayer expresses the desire of your heart: Lord Jesus believing I am lost and
separated from you by my sins I am willing to turn from my sins. I receive you
as the Saviour and Lord of my life.Thank you Jesus for coming into my heart and
life as you promised Amen. Who is a Christian? You are a Christian if your
choice was to turn from your sins and personally invite Jesus Christ to become
Lord of your life. Now that you have received Jesus where is he right now? He is
in your heart and life. How do you know? Revelation 3:20, 1 John 5:11-13. God
can now accept you into his family because all your sins past,present,and future
have been placed on his Son,Jesus Christ. The Bible says that God was in Christ
no longer counting men and women,s sins against them but blotting them out. For
God took the sinless Christ and laid on him our sins. Then in exchange he gives
God's goodness to us!) That's when a became a Christian and since then my life
has changed. I have friends who care for me for who I am and love me even if I
have AS and they treat me normal not like some freak. and I feel more at peace.
I have a job as a school custodian. I have turn to God when I am angry or sad or
discourged and he has given me great comfort. Whenever I struggle in life I turn
to God for help and leads me and works with my disorder. Now my desire is to
help others who have AS like me and to have them rely on God for their disorder.
God maynot heal you completely but he will heal you enough to understand him and
heal you to do his will.
I have benefitted by serving God and God will help you if you allow him to. He
will not help you if you don't want him to.
I just wanted to share this with you all. Because you are all valued people and
God values you and loves you as a good father loves his children and wants the
best for you.
Thank you for reading this and thank you for listening.
I am just someone who cares about people like me and others. My goal is to help
people like me survive in this diffcult world and to get the best help in
dealing with AS by turning to God for it we are never going to have a perfect
life in this world but we can have a better life by turning to God wihout cost.
I again thank you for reading and your consideration
In Christ
David
----- Original Message -----
From: Paul S
To: aspiesdugout@...
Sent: Tuesday, June 10, 2003 10:31 AM
Subject: [Aspies dugout] Re: [Aspies dugout] Where am I?


Its not all churches!
I think that recent converstaion was just an example of how people deal with
their condition.
The group has been a bit quiet recently, im never sure what to say either.

I am an AS sufferer from north london working in the IT industry, I am an
atheist and promise I wont talk about God to balance out the group ;-)
Although I have been known to rave on about a new piece of computer hardware
when I go into full flow.
This is a group for AS people, not AS atheists or AS christians.

I find it interesting seeing how everyone else tries to get by in "normal"
life. I thought that people with AS would find it hard to become envolved
with a religious group due to the over analytical nature of AS but I was
prooved wrong.
There are many things that some people with AS find hard while others find
easy, and at the same time there are things that I do which I assumed are
because of AS but are in fact just me being an individual!

Hope that reassures you.

Paul


----Original Message Follows----
From: "siu00rt" <siu00rt@...>
Reply-To: aspiesdugout@...
To: aspiesdugout@...
Subject: [Aspies dugout] Where am I?
Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 13:58:17 -0000
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Man, I found this place while on a mission to try an' find out stuff
and things about my disease (AS) after my diagnosis.... I had some
crazy idea that maybe people would be talking about... I dunno...
something relevent to AS/autism.... But what do I find?? nuffink -
except some church group chatting about some churches.... Whatever...


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