Dear Members,
hello, and firstly I would like to say how happy I am to
find this network. I was brought up by a mother with BPD, which I've
only just realised she had through research, I felt like crying with
relief when I found the symptoms on Minds website, it's so strange
but I felt so happy to be able to put a name to her behaviour. My
mother took me out of school to "home educate" me when I was seven
(which I now realise was an excuse to have my company as she was
afraid of being left alone), so I have experienced someone with BPD
on a first hand daily basis for most of my life. For years I just
thought she was an abusive bully, and I knew that her behaviour was
strange, it was only about six years ago that I started realising
that she was mentally ill.

When I had my daughter six years ago I had to get a restraining
order put on her because the daily misery I was experiencing was
ruining my life and my marriage, she would wait for me outside my
house all day and night (she'd even pack food so she wouldn't have
to leave to go to the shops and risk missing me) and if my husband
came out she'd attack him . I feel guilty though because I realise
she is mentally ill, but it is impossible to get her to see a
doctor. Both my sister and I have tried extremely hard, but our
mother just thought that we were conspiring against her to make her
feel worthless etc. I know that personally the bad times far
outweighed the good times, but then again she is my mother and I
feel responsible to help her, but then, I had to protect my
children. I know that the abuse that both my sister and I suffered
at her hands effect us daily, so the thing which I wonder is, what
makes you stay? And if you do stay around your affected loved one,
how do you cope? Can you controll it? Have you managed to get them
to see a doctor? If so how did you do it? I very much look forward
to any feedback, as I have to say I'm still haunted by her and her
behaviour and I'm actually relieved but saddened to find that other
people have experiened this and that my sister and I are not alone.
All the best, and thankyou,

Sandra