I thought I'll send an email to the newly created group :) A boundary setting trick that worked for me: the PD wife likes to have arguments, screaming and...
That's great news Ron. There is usually a pattern with BPD sufferers anyway, so finding out the pattern works a treat. It might appear that she 'feels good'...
*The love story of Ralph and Edna.* Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph...
On subject of starting arguments My BP husband likes to start an argument by purposely pushing my 'hot buttons' (don't like that phrase) and then accuse me of...
I've noticed a pattern in the way my BPD husband asks questions: They generally start with "Can we ..?" eg Can we open a bottle of wine tonight? Can we get...
Hi Tee, I've got the same, usually with alcohol. She is very keen for me to join drinking in the evening. Makes it look less like she's the only one drinking...
Hi y'all, I do not let my wife drink, it just makes matters far worse. I do not care if I am seen as the baddy etc, I will not have drink in the house at the...
Do you notice any other pattern with your husband's BPD? Z ... suggestion ... get ... but ... do ... that ... there is ... question. ... he's ... at ... you...
A very wise question - Z. Yes, luckily there are patterns in the madness. It may seem 'random'. When 'under fire' we tend to ignore the big picture (a bit of...
Hi Ron, I read a few years ago about how emotional trauma 'loops'. It would be interesting to know the significance Sundays hold for your wife. Were they...
... seem 'random'. When 'under fire' we tend to ignore the big picture (a bit of 'rabbit in the headlights'). But there is a big picture, if only we can take...
Sundays - Same here! I've always thought that the arguments and tantrums start on a Sunday evening because in the morning I go to work and leave him in the ...
Hi Tee, Does he self harm in obvious ways, cutting etc? Has he been formally diagnosed? If you read Zarena's reply to Ron, she mentions being left alone with ...
Hi, Did someone say 'sleep deprivation'? It is a big problem for me. BPD is doing the 'waif' routine on me, going on and on and on how overloaded she is, how...
Hi Simon Yes, he self harms but since I put my foot down (one boundary I managed to set) he is sneaky about it. Only in places hidden by his clothes. cuts...
While I'm thinking about it - are nonBPDs people who like peace & quiet? I've noticed that when my partner isn't getting the control over me that he likes he...
Hi Ron ... She'll say 'fine nobody's going to disturb you', and then she disturbs me! Exactly the same with me. It feels they have no respect or care for us....
Yes, my BPD is noisy. She likes talking to people from any location in the house she may be at. So she could be shouting at the kids, who are upstairs, from...
Hi Tee, It is very hard to see how our own attitudes allow the BPD to behave in certain ways. When you write; ' That is never much fun to watch and feel that...
Hi Simon, What you said about 40s is interesting. My wife is 40 and in my opinion is deteriorating. She was high functioning but I think she is beginning to...
Hi Ron, I'm sorry to say this, but don't hold your breath. My wife was in therapy for nearly a year, and the therapist did not correctly diagnose her. When we...
Hi Ron, You face the problem of having challenged your wife's behaviours....things could get a lot worse.... This was something my wife's consultant told...
It is my understanding that the BPD has emotions that are not based in reality. In order to correct this, instead of changing the emotions to fit reality (as...
Hi Simon, Firstly, thank you for all the good advice in the emails below. So far therapist doens't entirely waste my time, she helps with the boundaries as a...
I'm still here, thank you. Can only check the group while at work. Weekends & evenings are interrupted. I'm finding that I'm getting some boundaries set and...
Hi Zarena I'm feeling dreadfully tense and annoyed again today. I seem to take a couple of days after an event to get wound up. This weekend, in company, my...
Hi Z, Thank you for asking :) Busy but OK (considering that we are dealing with PDs). Wife didn't want to divorce last Sunday which was a major surprise! ...
Hi Tee, The big question is whether he is CAPABLE of getting a job and then holding that job for any length of time ... if he can't do it no point making him...
