Do you notice any other pattern with your husband's BPD? Z ... suggestion ... get ... but ... do ... that ... there is ... question. ... he's ... at ... you...
A very wise question - Z. Yes, luckily there are patterns in the madness. It may seem 'random'. When 'under fire' we tend to ignore the big picture (a bit of...
Hi Ron, I read a few years ago about how emotional trauma 'loops'. It would be interesting to know the significance Sundays hold for your wife. Were they...
... seem 'random'. When 'under fire' we tend to ignore the big picture (a bit of 'rabbit in the headlights'). But there is a big picture, if only we can take...
Sundays - Same here! I've always thought that the arguments and tantrums start on a Sunday evening because in the morning I go to work and leave him in the ...
Hi Tee, Does he self harm in obvious ways, cutting etc? Has he been formally diagnosed? If you read Zarena's reply to Ron, she mentions being left alone with ...
Hi, Did someone say 'sleep deprivation'? It is a big problem for me. BPD is doing the 'waif' routine on me, going on and on and on how overloaded she is, how...
Hi Simon Yes, he self harms but since I put my foot down (one boundary I managed to set) he is sneaky about it. Only in places hidden by his clothes. cuts...
While I'm thinking about it - are nonBPDs people who like peace & quiet? I've noticed that when my partner isn't getting the control over me that he likes he...
Hi Ron ... She'll say 'fine nobody's going to disturb you', and then she disturbs me! Exactly the same with me. It feels they have no respect or care for us....
Yes, my BPD is noisy. She likes talking to people from any location in the house she may be at. So she could be shouting at the kids, who are upstairs, from...
Hi Tee, It is very hard to see how our own attitudes allow the BPD to behave in certain ways. When you write; ' That is never much fun to watch and feel that...
Hi Simon, What you said about 40s is interesting. My wife is 40 and in my opinion is deteriorating. She was high functioning but I think she is beginning to...
Hi Ron, I'm sorry to say this, but don't hold your breath. My wife was in therapy for nearly a year, and the therapist did not correctly diagnose her. When we...
Hi Ron, You face the problem of having challenged your wife's behaviours....things could get a lot worse.... This was something my wife's consultant told...
It is my understanding that the BPD has emotions that are not based in reality. In order to correct this, instead of changing the emotions to fit reality (as...
Hi Simon, Firstly, thank you for all the good advice in the emails below. So far therapist doens't entirely waste my time, she helps with the boundaries as a...
I'm still here, thank you. Can only check the group while at work. Weekends & evenings are interrupted. I'm finding that I'm getting some boundaries set and...
Hi Zarena I'm feeling dreadfully tense and annoyed again today. I seem to take a couple of days after an event to get wound up. This weekend, in company, my...
Hi Z, Thank you for asking :) Busy but OK (considering that we are dealing with PDs). Wife didn't want to divorce last Sunday which was a major surprise! ...
Hi Tee, The big question is whether he is CAPABLE of getting a job and then holding that job for any length of time ... if he can't do it no point making him...
Hiya Sorry for not replying earlier. Hubby had a nervous breakdown? The clinginess and desire to please all the time can be irritating, can't it? It's almost...
Okay, you have to face the fact that you can never have an adult and equal relationship with hubby. He WILL show you up in company, he WILL try to get people...
Hello to all you other carers. Is there someone else who is caring for a daughter or son who has BPD? My daughter is 20 next month and was diagnosed with BPD...
Hi Jennifer Welcome to the group. I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter, and it must be terrible to watch your child go through something like that. I...
Thank you. My daughter shows the symptems of self harm by excessive abuse of alcohol, cutting her arms and legs. Suicide attempts She does OTT spending and...
Hi there. My daughter hasn't started her CBT yet, wishful thinking by me. There is a waiting list to which she has been added. Meanwhile she has taken an...
Hi Jennifer I am really really sorry to hear that. How is she now? (((Big Hugs))) it must be terrible for you as well. Which medication has she been ...
