hi all my name is julie and i have severe bipolar of which i have
only just found out.Im 39 and have suffered my whole life with
depression,anxiety stress,hyperactivity and all the other crap that
comes with it. So why only now have i been diagnosed? I have
destroyed my life once already ( drug addiction,debt, god i lost 2
childeren into care when i was 19, started a new life at 21 and had
4 beautiful childeren whom are so wonderful, i got married to thier
father but bipolar also destroyed all of that.After 16 years i was
single again and severly manic and thinking everything was all my
fault ) bipolar destroyed me yet i thought i was just hyper and a
bit mad. I feel real hurt and mad that if my condition was
recognized when i was a child my life would have been so much
different and i wouldnt have gone through so much pain in my heart
as well. I also feel lucky because i was given a 3rd chance and i
have a fiance and my 4 kids now and im very happy.
Though frightened a bit cos i gotta go to a mental health place and
discuss meds of which im so scared to take, ive read so much about
them and i truely dont want to take them, i would really love to
learn to live with this and deal with it without them, bearing in
mind ive been on depression meds since a child and was also a drug
addict so i really wana be drug free.
I am manic 3 days a week and depressed 2 days and i actually feel
normal for a couple of days, this is constant and there is rarely a
change in my cycle, so because ive always been this way i guess i
have already learnt to live with it in a way, but it disrupts my
life quite a lot in many ways .If there is anybody similar to me out
there i would love to hear from you and we can laugh and cry about
some of the crazy experiences life has put upon us.
luv julie