http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/unfair-pitbull-relinquishment.html

--- In bpdrel@..., "Doll-Face" <dezeray6969@...> wrote:
>
> I have recently been diagnosed with bp disorder, and PTSD!  Its
been
> a hard thing to deal with, and it's destroying my relationship.
I've
> been with my boyfriend for 5 years this past november.  Things have
> never been this bad.  I am medicated, and i've tried to explain my
> extreme highs and lows to him, and how my moods will cycle.  But he
> doesnt' get it.  He's become very verbally abusive, and the
> accusations are rediculous.
> I've had cycles for a while with certain things, and i've always
been
> able to repress things that were very painful to me.  I'm a very
> emotionally disrupted person and i know that.  I'm trying to deal
> with my illness, and trying to make him understand.  But things get
> worse everyday.  I been smashing stuff and throwing stuff.  I do
take
> my meds everyday too.  I am so stressed.  Right now i am in my
> depressed part of the illness.  I'm tired all of the time, dont'
get
> excited about nothing, i can barely move, i fall asleep driving,
and
> setting here at the computer.  It's crazy i have no energy and no
> drive.  I hate it.  When 2 weeks ago i felt on top of the owrld,
was
> going out and having fun and spending money.  Yea that's another
> problem.  I just don't know what to do
> I feel like everything is my fault.  He even says it's all my
fault.
> I go from not being able to stand him to wanting him around and
> hugging him.  Like yesterday i was throwing plates and pans at him
> and tonite, i'm huggin on him wanting to work things out.
> he's become very insecure when i am in my manic stage.  He thinks
> everyone wants me and that any guy i talk to i'm sleeping with.
i'm
> trying to cope witht he illiness and the relationship and it's
hard.
> I'm not sure what i want now.  I don't want to have no relationship
> and i don't want bothered by no one.  Is that understandable?  Or
am
> i screwed up?  I just am lost.
>
uR NOT JUST SCREWED UP - THE F UCKING ILLNESS IS - BUT IT can GET
EASIER IF PPL BOTHER TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND U - IF UR BF WONT
UNDERSTAND IT WILL BE DIFFICULT - IM LUCKY COS I HAVE FAMILY WHO
UNDERSTAND AND HAVE MADE THE EFFORT TO DO SO BUT I WONT LIE. bEING
RAPID CYCLING BIPOLAR 1 MYSELF I know how hard it can be but dont
lose hope cos there are some really nice ppl out there in net land on
bipolar sites who u can even chat to in real time which really helps
me when im particularly depressed and find it hard to express my
feelings to those closest to me - also writing mood diaries and
poetry has helped tho i know i cant be bothered with that when i am
really depressed. Also i found that having things to do with my hands
helped me not self harm. I have found that trying to regulate my
sleep eating and exercise patterns when well has some tho limited
effect on the level of episodes i get but again i wont lie - i often
still dont see em coming - and importantly neither does anyone else.
I get hallucinations and delusions too and if i get those im really f
ucked without family help so find out  who ur mates are - and if u
find they all melt away like a lot of fair weather friends do make
more - in safe bipolar sites or on a nice chat room as at least its a
diversion and gives one some sense of community - have been ill with
this sijnce i was about 17 but only diagnosed about 7 years ago (
which is typical im afraid for whilst bipolar is recognised as a
chronic condition no one seems to care enuff to research it!) I think
all us bipolars should find ways of letting the psychiatric
establishment know that our treatments are usually piecemeal and hit
and miss........Maybe affirmative action is my way of making myself
feel like im doing something useful when i feel otherwise useless.
Remember u may feel useless but ur not - u may feel lost but ur just
caught in a temporary cul de sac and u WILL feel better with some TLC
and also remember that u are NOT just a disease/illness/chronic
condition - u are entitled to ur feelings and thoughts and to some
sense of dignity and being listened to me - just like i am and just
like anyone else with this fetid illness is. Hang on in there girl!

I am 37 - i am very rapid cycling manic depressive. Psychiatry in
essex - does any valuable info exist out there about how to actuaLLY
get treated seriously by the tay*** centre in central southend. Im in
an acute episode and ive had my case CLOSED many times cos im just too
mad for em and seen as non complianmt cos i wont take meds tyhat make
me feel like an absolute zombie/ OD - DOES ANYONE have the same problem
with being bright, seen as non compliant and REALLY WANTING A
SOLUTION???

I have recently been diagnosed with bp disorder, and PTSD!  Its been
a hard thing to deal with, and it's destroying my relationship.  I've
been with my boyfriend for 5 years this past november.  Things have
never been this bad.  I am medicated, and i've tried to explain my
extreme highs and lows to him, and how my moods will cycle.  But he
doesnt' get it.  He's become very verbally abusive, and the
accusations are rediculous.
I've had cycles for a while with certain things, and i've always been
able to repress things that were very painful to me.  I'm a very
emotionally disrupted person and i know that.  I'm trying to deal
with my illness, and trying to make him understand.  But things get
worse everyday.  I been smashing stuff and throwing stuff.  I do take
my meds everyday too.  I am so stressed.  Right now i am in my
depressed part of the illness.  I'm tired all of the time, dont' get
excited about nothing, i can barely move, i fall asleep driving, and
setting here at the computer.  It's crazy i have no energy and no
drive.  I hate it.  When 2 weeks ago i felt on top of the owrld, was
going out and having fun and spending money.  Yea that's another
problem.  I just don't know what to do
I feel like everything is my fault.  He even says it's all my fault.
I go from not being able to stand him to wanting him around and
hugging him.  Like yesterday i was throwing plates and pans at him
and tonite, i'm huggin on him wanting to work things out.
he's become very insecure when i am in my manic stage.  He thinks
everyone wants me and that any guy i talk to i'm sleeping with.  i'm
trying to cope witht he illiness and the relationship and it's hard.
I'm not sure what i want now.  I don't want to have no relationship
and i don't want bothered by no one.  Is that understandable?  Or am
i screwed up?  I just am lost.

hi all my name is julie and i have severe bipolar of which i have
only just found out.Im 39 and have suffered my whole life with
depression,anxiety stress,hyperactivity and all the other crap that
comes with it. So why only now have i been diagnosed? I have
destroyed my life once already ( drug addiction,debt, god i lost 2
childeren into care when i was 19, started a new life at 21 and had
4 beautiful childeren whom are so wonderful, i got married to thier
father but bipolar also destroyed all of that.After 16 years i was
single again and severly manic and thinking everything was all my
fault ) bipolar destroyed me yet i thought i was just hyper and a
bit mad. I feel real hurt and mad that if my condition was
recognized when i was a child my life would have been so much
different and i wouldnt have gone through so much pain in my heart
as well. I also feel lucky because i was given a 3rd chance and i
have a fiance and my 4 kids now and im very happy.
  Though frightened a bit cos i gotta go to a mental health place and
discuss meds of which im so scared to take, ive read so much about
them and i truely dont want to take them, i would really love to
learn to live with this and deal with it without them, bearing in
mind ive been on depression meds since a child and was also a drug
addict so i really wana be drug free.
I am manic 3 days a week and depressed 2 days and i actually feel
normal for a couple of days, this is constant and there is rarely a
change in my cycle, so because ive always been this way i guess i
have already learnt to live with it in a way, but it disrupts my
life quite a lot in many ways .If there is anybody similar to me out
there i would love to hear from you and we can laugh and cry about
some of the crazy experiences life has put upon us.
luv julie

Hi everyone, I myself do not suffer from bipolar, but I recently met a
man that I really care about, and I want to start a relationship with,
I also just found out not to long ago that he suffers from a bad case
of manic depression, now im just scared that if it doesnt work out, he
will take it really hard, and maybe try to take his life, and I dont
know if I can handle having that resting on my shoulders, but at the
same time I care for him a lot and my heart tells me I should be with
him. so I was just wondering if I could get some opinions, and advise
on this one, because it's really bothering me
Thanks Jess

I was just looking to see if there's any site for bipolars in relation to
relationships and I
came across with this one.

I have mood disorders (bi-polars).

To answer your question, as I get older, I find that it got harder and harder to
maintain a
full on relationship.  My "boyfriend" calls me "grumpy" when I feel drained due
to my
moods me wanting to stay alone.   I feel I am no longer able to cope with any
demands
from any relationship (a man and a woman's relationship).  I find him being on
top of my
head when I feel the need to be alone.  His phone calls and constant emails
start to put me
off and I start to see them more stress than "interaction" that I need or want.

All in all, friendships are fine as they are much lighter and more casual in
nature.

I find that friendships are much easier as there are boundaries set between me
and others.
Relationships.....I could feel murderous by my boyfriend moaning about what I
wanted to
watch on TV..and what I wanted to eat and how much I wanted to eat etc.  These
"little"
annoyances/stresess can add up and then blow up after a while.

I do wonder if bipolar disorder is progressive?  No, I cannot see myself with
living with
someone when I am really old.

What I can certainly say in my case is that yes, a romantic relationship does
become very
stressful as they tend to be even for normal people if you know what I mean?  I
started to
make more distance from my boyfriend who does not live in the same County.  He
knows
about my disorders and sometimes his words (just pulling my legs) do seriously
disturb
me.  It's an illness and he thinks that's something he can joke about.

I obviously don't see it that way.

Regards,

My relationship with family and friends are fine.    People tell me I am
pleasant,
easy to get along with, and sometimes too nice.   If you are talking about
romantic relationships that's a different story.   I don't put myself out there
until I am going manic.    When I am manic I perster the poor guy with phone
calls and letters which drive the poor guy off especially since some calls and
letters are weird.   I did this a year and a half ago to a guy and I am
surprised
he even still emails me.   I have had guys come on to me but I haven't met any
lately who I am interested in.

--- In bpdrel@..., "Laura OBanion" <lpsomd@f...> wrote:
> Welcome to bpdrel.  I wanted to start this group to give people who live with
bipolar
> disorder a place to talk about how this ever-present condition affects our
relationships
> with loved ones, prospective loved ones, past-tense loved ones, and
others.
>
> What prompted me to start this group was that I had just returned from a
wrenching
> breakup scene which included my most-recent "ex" verbally pushing me--
demanding
> answers immediately, when I needed time to think and breathe--until I
exploded into
> screaming "leave me alone!!!" and sobbing uncontrollably, which he took to
be a sign of
> craziness.  When I got home from this (which involved an airplane ride
across the country,
> more craziness) I realized I had misplaced my car registration and started
looking in a
> filebox for it.  Stay with me here.....So then I came across a file that
didn't
look like it
> belonged, and what did it contain but a reference from the director of my
residency
> program, way back in 1991.  It was a reference letter for a job that later
turned disastrous.
> The letter said that I had very poor interpersonal skills and was considered
difficult to
> work with.
>
> So why am I talking about work references here?
>
> Because my concern is:  Do I have the ability to interact effectively with
people?  Am I able
> to perceive social input correctly, or are my wires so crossed that I really
am socially
> disabled?  How much of this is bipolar, and how much Asperger's (which is
a
> secondary diagnosis that has been much kicked around but not
made "official")
>
> What about other people who have bipolar disorder?  Does anyone have
functional
> relationships?  Help!!!!
>
> Laura

Welcome, Petra, I'm glad you joined the list and look forward to your input!

Laura

Welcome to bpdrel.  I wanted to start this group to give people who live with
bipolar
disorder a place to talk about how this ever-present condition affects our
relationships
with loved ones, prospective loved ones, past-tense loved ones, and others.

What prompted me to start this group was that I had just returned from a
wrenching
breakup scene which included my most-recent "ex" verbally pushing me--demanding
answers immediately, when I needed time to think and breathe--until I exploded
into
screaming "leave me alone!!!" and sobbing uncontrollably, which he took to be a
sign of
craziness.  When I got home from this (which involved an airplane ride across
the country,
more craziness) I realized I had misplaced my car registration and started
looking in a
filebox for it.  Stay with me here.....So then I came across a file that didn't
look like it
belonged, and what did it contain but a reference from the director of my
residency
program, way back in 1991.  It was a reference letter for a job that later
turned disastrous.
The letter said that I had very poor interpersonal skills and was considered
difficult to
work with.

So why am I talking about work references here?

Because my concern is:  Do I have the ability to interact effectively with
people?  Am I able
to perceive social input correctly, or are my wires so crossed that I really am
socially
disabled?  How much of this is bipolar, and how much Asperger's (which is a
secondary diagnosis that has been much kicked around but not made "official")

What about other people who have bipolar disorder?  Does anyone have functional
relationships?  Help!!!!

Laura