cambridge_humor_society : Messages : 237-266 of 5280

'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy - 7 new articles

It Was A Dark
And Foggy Night...

A UNC grad stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on
a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The thunder
was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong,
he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly
he saw a car come towards him and stop.

The man, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed
the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car
started slowly. He looked at the road and saw a curve ahead.
Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn't
come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand
appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The man,
paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time
before a curve.

He gathered his strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest
town. Wet and in shock, he ran into...

*The creepy climax to this story may be found in "comments".
Please do not allow this terrifying tale to fall into the hands of
children...

Football Cartoon

What Are Their Nationalities?

Q: Two foreign exchange students at UNC are at a restroom,
one is entering and the other is leaving. What are their nationalities?

A: Simple! The answer is in "comments" for your convenience!!!

A Word Of Advice

Tuesday's Riddles

The image �http://www.csus.edu/wrc/educational_programs/images/study.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

1) WHAT IS THE LONGEST WORD THAT
IS TYPED USING ONLY THE LEFT HAND
..................(IF YOU TYPE CORRECTLY)?

http://summer.oregonstate.edu/images/proprietary/students/MU-Woman.jpg

2) Forward I am heavy, backwards I am not.
What am I?

http://www.melanet.com/awg/images/wmstudy_lrg.jpg

3) Around the mill, there is a walk,
After the walk, there is a key.
What Am I?

The image �http://www.skidmore.edu/academics/asianstudies/new2/Student_Young_Asian_Woman_Studying_2.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

The image �http://www.skidmore.edu/academics/asianstudies/new2/Student_Young_Asian_Woman_Studying_2.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

4) This is a most unusual paragraph. How quickly
can you find out what is wrong with it? It's so usual,
you would think nothing is wrong with it. In fact, nothing
is wrong with it! It's unusual, though. Study it. What
is so unusual about it? Do you know?

*Answers may be found in blog "comments"

On This Date -
1517

The image
�http://chi.gospelcom.net/images/img_daily/10daily/1031witt.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

In the little town of Wittenberg, Germany,
on this day, October 31, 1517, no one seemed
to notice the priest nailing his challenge to debate
on the church door; but within the week, copies
of his theses would be discussed throughout the
surrounding regions; and within a decade, Europe
itself would be shaken by his simple act. Later
generations would mark martin Luther's nailing
of the 95 theses on the church door as the beginning
of the Protestant Reformation.

MORE!!!

Our Blog Readers Snapshot

Num	Perc.	Country Name
41	43.62%	United States
15	15.96%	Macao
10	10.64%	Israel
6	6.38%	Australia
5	5.32%	Poland
4	4.26%	Canada
4	4.26%	Unknown	-
2	2.13%	Bulgaria
2	2.13%	Saudi Arabia
1	1.06%	United Kingdom
1	1.06%	Denmark
1	1.06%	United Arab Emirates
1	1.06%	Egypt
1	1.06%	Sweden

Above numbers give a snapshot of the locations
of our last 100 readers around 7 A.M. today.
This will change completely in the next few
minutes. Updates are posted in "comments"
as the day progresses. 'Thought & Humor'
has been read in ALL 230 countries of the
world. A numerical counter is shown at the
top of this award winning blog...

from "'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy"

Do you need some corny humor in your life???

Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...

Updated daily!!!

***Turn up your speaker***

More MUSIC options

at bottom of blog!!!

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#238

From: ***Professor Howdy*** <professor_tom_foolery@...>
Date: Wed Nov 1, 2006 4:14 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - November 1, 2006 A.D. - A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

professor_tom_foolery@...

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

A cusomer in a restaurant next to the UNC

campus asked the student waitress if the roast

beef was rare.

The waitress gave the customer...

TheRestOfTheStory!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

The MSU graduate with a Science degree asks...

The GT graduate with an Engineering degree asks...

The Villanova graduate with an Accounting degree asks...

A UNC* graduate with an Arts degree asks...

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.

7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness

found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack.

If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the

FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with...

"performing an illegal operation".

***********************

Check out this Blog:

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently!!!

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
"The human race has one really effective weapon,

and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a

time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.

===============

The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God. In addition to
historical, archaeological, and scientific proofs, there are numerous
internal proofs. No such evidences exist for other "sacred writings."
The Bible was written during 1,600 years by 40 prophets, most of
whom lived in diverse cultures, at different times in history, yet who
never contradict but complement each other. For the Qur'an, Muslims
must take the word of Muhammad, just as the Book of Mormon rests
solely upon Joseph Smith's word. But every biblical prophet is confirmed
by 39 other prophets. - - Dave Hunt

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'

is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information

was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought

& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-

mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor

your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,

and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience

to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's

e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such

unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

===============

EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES

Howdy will never send an email with attachments.

If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from

Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely

generated from a computer outside of 'T & H'

by a virus.

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,

230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors

that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far

as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee

Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System

Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor

Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.

Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married

Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22

Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married

Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married

Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married

Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married

Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country

Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married

John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married

Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher

Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28

Lee - 20's - GA - College Student

Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot

Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married

Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician

Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher

Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician

Phil - 50's WI - Disabled

Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married

Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry

Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married

Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary

Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister

Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother

Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet

and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation

for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.

===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you

didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

===============

How to UNSUBSCRIBE

& make poor Howdy Cry:

Go Here: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

Warning: Unsubscribing could restrict one's opportunities for

ascertaining uninterrupted existence for same's quintessence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(You are receiving this e-mail because it has been reported to

us by a close associate of yours that you are in dire need of

jocularity/ludicrousness. If you feel that this is not the case

and that you might have received this missive/memorandum

in error, please disregard or send back to your professor/colleague.

Thank you!)

>>> Share the good news <<<
Please forward this newspaper to a friend!

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail.

#239

From: "***Dr. Howdy***" <the_ludicrousness_prof@...>
Date: Thu Nov 2, 2006 4:14 pm
Subject: 'Thought & Humor' - Great Articles About "The Kiss!", "Being Traded", " WACKY IN KHAKI", " Retirement Farming", & Much More - 11.2.6

the_ludicrousness_prof@...

'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy - 9 new articles

Pay-Per-View

UNC Restaurant

The image �http://www.ibiblio.org/finedine/images/places/vespa/vespaa.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

A cusomer in a restaurant next to the UNC* campus
asked the student waitress if the roast beef was rare.

The waitress gave the customer a stare and replied,
"Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day."

*Please see blog "comments" for explanation.

Watch Out!!!

Thursday's Riddles

The image �http://www.simplesystemsmonterey.com/images/developer-woman.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

1) Without looking at a calendar, within a minute name
a boy's name using 5 consecutive 1st letters of 5
consecutive months.

The image �http://media.venda.com/ntlhome/ebiz/ntlhome/images/photo_retail.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

2) My first is a number, my second another,
And each, I assure you, will rhyme with the other.
My first you will find is one-fifth of my second,
And truely my whole a long period reckoned.
Yet my first and my second, (nay, think not I cozen),
When added together will make but two dozen.
How many am I?

http://www.monroecounty.gov/i/health-HealthWeb.jpg

3) A man took his horse to the emergency room. The vet
decided to operate on the poor animal immediately. He told
the man that whether the animal died during the operation
or survived, he would charge $500. The horse did not
survive the operation and the man did not pay anything.
Why not?

*Answers may be found in blog "comments"

College Grads

The MSU graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"

The GT graduate with an Engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"

The Villanova graduate with an Accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"

http://us.inmagine.com/168nwm/stockdisc/sd175/258131sdc.jpg

A UNC graduate with an Arts degree asks,
"Do you want fries with that?"

Dear Howdy

The image �http://www.g3iso.com/images/woman%20writing.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Dear Howdy,

Did Anyone ever tell you,
Just how special You are?
The light that You emit
Might even light a star?

Did Anyone ever tell You
How important You make Others feel?
Somebody out there is smiling
About Love that is so real?

Did Anyone ever tell You
Many times, when They were sad,
Your blog made Them smile a bit
In fact It made them glad?

For the time You spend sending things
And sharing whatever You find,
There are no words to thank You
But Somebody thinks You're fine.

Did Anyone ever tell You
Just how much They love You?
Well, My Dearest "Online" Friend,
Today I am telling YOU!

Have a blessed day, my special blog friend!
Jan

VIRUS ALERT!

http://www.topics-mag.com/edition15/images-happen/maria1.jpg

VIRUS ALERT!

TO: ALLUSERS
SUBJECT: VIRUS ALERT!

There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is
propogated through the email system. If you get an email
message with the subject: "VIRUS ALERT!" do not open the
mail message. If you do, the virus scrambles the second
half of every text file on your system.

VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the first thing
dlkfjaid dfdjas nairb gfdq40wt yaj asdfsdg dluog av da
agj asdfajpg as dflasidffnm asd difvu asdfa vgoiae vdsofj
we dasdf 9efm sd dag0 g adf as dg 0vbwe ads gwefawe ads
vewerwe dsf!

(Send this warning to everyone you know by clicking on the little white

envelope on the blog just below that has an arrow pointing to the right.)

Using Steroids

Our Blog Readers Snapshot

from "'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy"

Do you need some corny humor in your life???

Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...

Updated daily!!!

***Turn up your speaker***

More MUSIC options

at bottom of blog!!!

What is the internet to you?
Contribute to the Yahoo! Time Capsule and be a part of internet history.

#240

From: ***Professor Howdy*** <professor_ludicrous@...>
Date: Fri Nov 3, 2006 1:21 pm
Subject: 'Thought & Humor' - ...by Dr. Howdy - 10 new articles - 11.3.6

professor_ludicrous@...

'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy - 10 new articles

Kiss On A Train

http://www.cyclehire.co.nz/images/brunner.jpg

A young Technician and his General Manager board
a train headed through the mountains on its way to
Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two
seats right across the aisle from a young woman and
her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman
and the young tech are interested in each other,
because they are giving each other looks.

Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch
black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the
sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the
tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was
very brash for that young man to kiss my grand -
daughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."

The General manager is setting there thinking,
"I didn't know the young tech was brave enough
to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed
him when she slapped and hit me!"

The young woman was sitting and thinking,
"I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my
grandmother had not slapped him!"

Find out what happened...

HERE!!!

Being Traded

WACKY IN KHAKI

MORE!!!

Retirement Farming

The image
�http://www.charlestowncooperativefarm.org/The%20Farm/Crops-Growing-in-the-sun.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

A detective who spent his entire career in plain
clothes quit the police force and bought a farm.

"What kind of crops do you plan to grow?"
the police chief asked the farmer-to-be.

"Carrots and potatoes," the man replied.

"Why carrots and potatoes?" asked the chief.

"Because," answered the ex-detective, . . .
Find out what happened...

HERE!!!

Friday Riddles
(For You & Your Friends)

The image �http://www.carefirst.com/company/ar2005/images/COUCH_wendy.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

1) "I know a word of letters three,
add two and fewer there will be."
So, what's the word?

http://images.meredith.com/bhg/images/01/m_FAM900765.jpg

2) What is so fragile that when you say its
name you break it?

The image �http://images.asme.org/Universal/People/Diversity/4459.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

3) The first is foremost legally
The second circles outwardly
The third leeds in victory
The last twice ends a nominee
What am I?

http://www.acbuk.net/media/img_right.jpg

4) Count the number of "F"'s in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Got it?

*Answers are located in blog "comments"

UNC Up North

A UNC football player was visiting a Yankee relative
in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party
and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start
up a conversation with the line, "Where do you go
to school?"

"Yale," she replied.

The UNC student took a big, deep breath and shouted,
Find out what he said...

HERE!!!

http://www.mediaspacesolutions.com/images04/Photos/Photo_WomanSurprised.jpg

On a recent...

The image �http://www.jcbcon.net/transportation/images/airplane_window.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

On a recent flight, a UNC* grad kept peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking
wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.

"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but...

Find out what she said...

HERE!!!

*Please see blog "comments" for additional information.

You Get It Ready

Years ago, we were associated with a ministry that was able
to acquire a rambling old home for its offices. It was a great
help and a lot of work to get it in shape. Thankfully, lots of
friends pitched in with some volunteer help. So we were able
to move in, but one big job remained. The outside still looked
a little shabby. And the problem was that our staff didn't have
the time or the ability or the equipment to do it right. Well,
along comes a Christian brother who is a painter. He has the
time, the ability, and the equipment. Here's what he said:
"I'll make you a deal. You get the paint, get some help, tape
up all the trim, and I'll do the rest." So he offered to do the
job on a simple basis: "You get it ready and I'll do the job."
Actually, I know someone else who works like that.

MORE!!!

HEAR!!!

The Wisdom Of God

The image �http://nescritas.nletras.com/poetsinenglish/fpessoaeng/archives/Sunlight%20Through%20Trees.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Think of it--humiliation and agony. This was the path
Jesus chose with which to reach out for you and for me.
You see, this thing we call sin, but which we so tragically
minimize, breaks the grandeur for which we were created.
It brings indignity to our essence and pain to our existence.
It separates us from God...

MORE!!!

Our Blog Readers Snapshot

from "'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy"

Do you need some corny humor in your life???

Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...

Updated daily!!!

***Turn up your speaker***

More MUSIC options

at bottom of blog!!!

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#241

From: "*** Dr. Jocular***" <dr_of_jocular@...>
Date: Fri Nov 3, 2006 3:46 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - November 3, 2006 A.D. - Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

dr_of_jocular@...

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

Why do seagulls fly over the sea???

TheRestOfTheStory!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

A UNC* grad tells his psychiatrist,

"Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness

found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack.

If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the

FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with...

"performing an illegal operation".

***********************

Check out this Blog:

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently!!!

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

===============

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'

is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information

was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought

& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor

your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,

and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience

to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's

e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such

unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

===============

EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES

Howdy will never send an email with attachments.

If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from

Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely

generated from a computer outside of 'T & H'

by a virus.

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,

230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors

that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far

as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee

Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System

Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor

Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.

Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married

Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22

Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married

Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married

Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married

Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married

Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country

Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married

John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married

Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher

Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28

Lee - 20's - GA - College Student

Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot

Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married

Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician

Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher

Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician

Phil - 50's WI - Disabled

Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married

Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry

Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married

Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary

Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister

Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother

Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet

and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation

for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.

===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the
personality to be an accountant.An actuary is someone who brings a fake

bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another

bomb on the plane. (Laurence J. Peter) A programmer is someone who solves a problem

you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. A mathematician is

a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.A topologist

is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."

(Franz Kafka) A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl

enters the room.A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.A consultant

is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

===============

How to UNSUBSCRIBE

& make poor Howdy Cry:

Go Here: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

Warning: Unsubscribing could restrict one's opportunities for

ascertaining uninterrupted existence for same's quintessence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(You are receiving this e-mail because it has been reported to

us by a close associate of yours that you are in dire need of

jocularity/ludicrousness. If you feel that this is not the case

and that you might have received this missive/memorandum

in error, please disregard or send back to your professor/colleague.

Thank you!)

>>> Share the good news <<<
Please forward this newspaper to a friend!

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#242

From: ***Professor Howdy*** <unc_girls_are_silly@...>
Date: Tue Nov 7, 2006 2:07 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - November 7, 2006 A.D. - Is it possible to be totally partial?

unc_girls_are_silly@...

http://thoughtnhumor.blogspot.com/2006/11/election-day.html

Do you like this election day humor???

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with

a note of caution. "You don't want to try these

techniques at home..."

TheRestOfTheStory!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

A very large, old, building was being torn down

in Chapel Hill, N.C.* to make room for a new dorm.

While working on the 9th floor, two construction

workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind

the elevator shaft...

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness

found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack.

If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the

FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with...

"performing an illegal operation".

***********************

Check out this Blog:

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently!!!

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

===============

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'

is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information

was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought

& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor

your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,

and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience

to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's

e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such

unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

===============

EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES

Howdy will never send an email with attachments.

If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from

Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely

generated from a computer outside of 'T & H'

by a virus.

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,

230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors

that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far

as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee

Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System

Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor

Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.

Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married

Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22

Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married

Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married

Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married

Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married

Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country

Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married

John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married

Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher

Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28

Lee - 20's - GA - College Student

Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot

Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married

Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician

Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher

Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician

Phil - 50's WI - Disabled

Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married

Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry

Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married

Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary

Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister

Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother

Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet

and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation

for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.

===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

===============

How to UNSUBSCRIBE

& make poor Howdy Cry:

Go Here: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

Warning: Unsubscribing could restrict one's opportunities for

ascertaining uninterrupted existence for same's quintessence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(You are receiving this e-mail because it has been reported to

us by a close associate of yours that you are in dire need of

jocularity/ludicrousness. If you feel that this is not the case

and that you might have received this missive/memorandum

in error, please disregard or send back to your professor/colleague.

Thank you!)

>>> Share the good news <<<
Please forward this newspaper to a friend!

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#243

From: *** Professor Howdy *** <humorthought2u@...>
Date: Wed Nov 8, 2006 2:19 pm
Subject: 'Thought & Humor' - ...by Dr. Howdy - 8 new articles - 11.8.6

humorthought2u@...

'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy - 8 new articles

Breaking News:
Saddam Has Escaped

Efficiency Lecture

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert
explained.

"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and
cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her,
'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes
to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

Executive Perks

Body On The Ninth Floor

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chapel Hill, N.C.
to make room for a new dorm. While working on the 9th floor, two
construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the
elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police. When
the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them
the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, "This
could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any
more, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and
said, "We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and
we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."

The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important."

"Well, who was it?"

"The 1956 UNC* National Hide-and-Seek Champion."

*Please see blog "comments" for additional pertinent information.

Grounded!!!

The Way To Your Father's Heart

As most children learn, there is an art to getting
what you want from a parent. And most kids
should get honorary degrees in psychology for
how skilled they become at doing it...

MORE!!!

LISTEN!!!

Cultivating Happiness

http://www.oomens-ict.nl/uploads/pics/img_computer_family_01.jpg

In the United States Declaration of Independence,
the "pursuit of happiness" is declared to be an inalienable
right. Regardless of whether or not this pursuit is a right,
we should ask the question of whether or not the pursuit
of happiness is ever truly successful...

MORE!!!

Our Blog Readers Snapshot

Num	Perc.	Country Name
56	63.64%	United States
6	6.82%	Taiwan
4	4.55%	Portugal
3	3.41%	Thailand
3	3.41%	Netherlands
2	2.27%	Mexico
2	2.27%	Germany
2	2.27%	India
2	2.27%	Serbia & Montenegro
2	2.27%	Unknown	-
2	2.27%	Poland
2	2.27%	Dominican Republic
1	1.14%	United Kingdom
1	1.14%	Turkey

from "'Thought & Humor'
...by Dr. Howdy"

***Turn up your speaker***

More MUSIC options

at bottom of blog!!!

Do you need some corny humor in your life???

Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...

Updated daily!!!

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#244

From: "***Dr. Howdy***" <the_ludicrousness_prof@...>
Date: Thu Nov 9, 2006 3:11 pm
Subject: 'Thought & Humor' - 8 new articles - 11.9.6

the_ludicrousness_prof@...

'Thought & Humor' - 8 new articles

Crutch Cassidy & The Sunset Kid

MORE!!!

The Test -
Then The Lessons

Charles Dickens said it about the French Revolution,
"It was the best of times; it was the worst of times".

MORE!!!

LISTEN!!!

Discovered

I remember a time when it seemed quite obvious to me that
God was what I wanted. I understood what Pascal meant by
the God-shaped vacuum in my heart. And I knew Saint Augustine's
words to be true: our hearts are restless until they find their
rest in Him. But what I had grasped cognitively, I had not
grasped practically; the hole seemed only partially filled and
my heart was not at rest. I wanted to want God. I knew it
was God that I ultimately wanted, and yet I was sickened
with the suspicion that I had not found Him fully because
I didn't want Him enough. And so I wrestled: Do I really
believe? Do I fully trust in Christ's atonement? Am I truly
sorry for my sins? Am I seeking with all my heart? How
can I make myself want God more?

MORE!!!

Our Blog Readers Snapshot

Num	Perc.	Country Name
35	35.71%	United States
14	14.29%	Ghana
11	11.22%	United Kingdom
8	8.16%	Egypt
4	4.08%	Turkey
3	3.06%	Slovakia
2	2.04%	Spain
2	2.04%	Switzerland
2	2.04%	Singapore
2	2.04%	Viet Nam
2	2.04%	Japan
2	2.04%	Australia
2	2.04%	Mozambique
2	2.04%	Italy
2	2.04%	Poland
1	1.02%	Sweden
1	1.02%	Romania
1	1.02%	Lebanon
1	1.02%	Denmark
1	1.02%	Germany

from "'Thought & Humor'"

Do you need some corny humor in your life???

Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...

Updated daily!!!

***Turn up your speaker***

More MUSIC options

at bottom of blog!!!

What is the internet to you?
Contribute to the Yahoo! Time Capsule and be a part of internet history.

#245

From: "*** Dr. Howdy ***" <professor_ridiculous@...>
Date: Thu Nov 9, 2006 4:57 pm
Subject: Personality Test Below ***Thought & Humor*** - November 9, 2006 A.D. - Forward to friends...

professor_ridiculous@...

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

This is Dr. Phil's test:

(Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah -
she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money
to find this stuff out!

Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is
pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes.
Take this test for yourself.

Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll
down and answer.

Answers are for who you are now --- not who
you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and
paper ready.

This is a real test given by the Human Relations
Dept. at many of the major corporations today.
It helps them get better insight concerning their
employees and prospective employees. It's only
10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper,
keeping track of your letter answers to each question.

Ready??

Begin.

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk.
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard,
and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last
few moments before going to sleep you are. ..
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

TheAnswers!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness

found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack.

If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the

FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with...

"performing an illegal operation".

***********************

Check out this Blog:

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently!!!

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

===============

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'

is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information

was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought

& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor

your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,

and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience

to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's

e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such

unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

===============

EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES

Howdy will never send an email with attachments.

If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from

Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely

generated from a computer outside of 'T & H'

by a virus.

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,

230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors

that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far

as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee

Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System

Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor

Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.

Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married

Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22

Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married

Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married

Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married

Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married

Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country

Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married

John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married

Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher

Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28

Lee - 20's - GA - College Student

Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot

Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married

Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician

Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher

Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician

Phil - 50's WI - Disabled

Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married

Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry

Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married

Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary

Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister

Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother

Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet

and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation

for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.

===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make

sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to

pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable

plant...

===============

How to UNSUBSCRIBE

& make poor Howdy Cry:

Go Here: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

Warning: Unsubscribing could restrict one's opportunities for

ascertaining uninterrupted existence for same's quintessence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(You are receiving this e-mail because it has been reported to

us by a close associate of yours that you are in dire need of

jocularity/ludicrousness. If you feel that this is not the case

and that you might have received this missive/memorandum

in error, please disregard or send back to your professor/colleague.

Thank you!)

>>> Share the good news <<<
Please forward this newspaper to a friend!

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#246

From: ***Professor Howdy*** <humor4u2day@...>
Date: Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:58 pm
Subject: 'Thought & Humor' - 13 new articles - 11.10.6

humor4u2day@...

'Thought & Humor' - 13 new articles

Warning!!!

Eschew Obfuscation

Riddle For Your Friends

http://www.carnells.com/images4site/computer%20couple.jpg

Each pair of hints below relates to two words.
One of the words is the other one spelled
backward. What are the ten word pairs?

Example: married, moisture
Answer: wed, dew

1. light source, rodents
2. dwell, wicked
3. retain, sneaking look
4. weapons, tight fit
5. portion, catching device
6. prize, furniture compartment
7. drinking aid, skin blemishes
8. stopper, big swallow
9. implement, stolen goods
10. precinct, illustrate

*Answers are located in blog "comments"
for your convenience & felicity.

Business Trip

After being away on business, a UNC grad thought it would
be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some
perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him
a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said the grad, so she returned with a
smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit,"
the grad complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00
bottle. "What I mean," said the UNC grad, "is I'd like to
see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Sam's Club

UNC Hunters

A couple of UNC* grads are hunters and are out in the
woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't
seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency
services.

He gasps to the operator: �My friend is dead! What can I do?�
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: �Just take it easy.
I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.� There is a silence,
then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line.
He says: �OK, now what?"

*Please see blog "comments" for additional pertinent information.

Road Sign

UNC Biology Class

A UNC* student was telling his biology class
during "Show & Tell" about a trip to the zoo
with some friends & how he saw a very large
turtle who approached them.

He exclaimed, "He was walking right tortoise!"

*Please see blog "comments" for additional pertinent information.

Low On Fluids

What To Do When You're Hydroplaning

The image �http://spotterguides.us/library/hydroplane1.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

My wife says I usually try to cram one more thing in before
I leave for an appointment and then I make it up on the road.
Well, that works OK if the weather's on my side. But then there
are those really rainy days. You know, you're zipping down the
highway at top speed, and suddenly you feel yourself losing control
of your rear wheels. Now, if you'd like a fancy word for that experience,
you are hydroplaning! Water builds up under those tires of yours so
you're skimming along on water rather than pavement. This is not
good. The rear of your car starts to go somewhere you don't want
it to go. If that's ever happened to you, you know it's a scary feeling
to start hydroplaning - you're going too fast, and you're starting to
lose control...

MORE!!!

LISTEN!!!

Dr. Phil's Test:

http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/na/archive/00263/oprah_winfrey__dr_p_263038w.jpg

This is Dr. Phil's test:

(Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah -
she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money
to find this stuff out!

Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is
pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes.
Take this test for yourself.

Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll
down and answer.

Answers are for who you are now --- not who
you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and
paper ready.

Ready??

Begin.

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk.
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard,
and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

*Answers are located in blog "comments"
for your convenience & felicity.

Where Is The Wisdom?

The image �http://www.convert2fees.co.uk/images/couple%20thinking.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

One of the tragic casualties of our age has been that of the
contemplative life--a life that thinks, thinks things through,
and more particularly, thinks God's thoughts after Him.

A person sitting at his desk and staring out the window would
never be assumed to be working. No! Thinking is not equated
with work. Yet, had Newton under his tree, or Archimedes in
his bathtub, bought into that prejudice, some natural laws would
still be up in the air, or buried under an immovable rock. Pascal's
Pensees, or "Thoughts," a work that has inspired millions, would
have never been penned.

MORE!!!

Our Blog Readers Snapshot

Num	Perc.	Country Name
59	66.29%	United States
8	8.99%	France
6	6.74%	Australia
6	6.74%	Egypt
2	2.25%	Mongolia
2	2.25%	Nepal
2	2.25%	Korea, Republic Of
2	2.25%	Italy
1	1.12%	Poland
1	1.12%	United Kingdom

from "'Thought & Humor'"

***Turn up your speaker***

More MUSIC options

at bottom of blog!!!

Do you need some corny humor in your life???

Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...

Updated daily!!!

/FONT>

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#247

From: "***Professor Dr. Howdy***" <ucla_humor_society@...>
Date: Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:47 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - November 10, 2006 A.D. - I'm not an organ donor, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army.

ucla_humor_society@...

Now in nine languages!!!

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking

very much worried and all strung out. She rattles

off...

TheRestOfTheStory!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

What do UNC* students and coke bottles

have in common?

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness

found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack.

If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the

FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with...

"performing an illegal operation".

***********************

Check out this Blog:

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently!!!

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

===============

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'

is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information

was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought

& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor

your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,

and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience

to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's

e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such

unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

===============

EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES

Howdy will never send an email with attachments.

If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from

Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely

generated from a computer outside of 'T & H'

by a virus.

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,

230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors

that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far

as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee

Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System

Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor

Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.

Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married

Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22

Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married

Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married

Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married

Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married

Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country

Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married

John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married

Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher

Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28

Lee - 20's - GA - College Student

Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot

Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married

Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician

Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher

Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician

Phil - 50's WI - Disabled

Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married

Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry

Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married

Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary

Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister

Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother

Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet

and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation

for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.

===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S. The old west was full of cowboys who were good cow-ordinators.
They had consider-a-bull talent, though sometimes they would
stirrup trouble. Sometimes they took hay to bed in order to
feed their night mares. One cowboy reached for his gun and
drew a blank. Eventually they would go off to a rodeo to try
and get a few bucks.

===============

How to UNSUBSCRIBE

& make poor Howdy Cry:

Go Here: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

Warning: Unsubscribing could restrict one's opportunities for

ascertaining uninterrupted existence for same's quintessence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(You are receiving this e-mail because it has been reported to

us by a close associate of yours that you are in dire need of

jocularity/ludicrousness. If you feel that this is not the case

and that you might have received this missive/memorandum

in error, please disregard or send back to your professor/colleague.

Thank you!)

>>> Share the good news <<<
Please forward this newspaper to a friend!

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#248

From: "***Dr. Howdy***" <the_ludicrousness_prof@...>
Date: Sat Nov 11, 2006 4:59 pm
Subject: 'Thought & Humor' - 14 new articles - 11.11.6

the_ludicrousness_prof@...

Happy Weekend!!!

'Thought & Humor' - 14 new articles

Weekend Riddles

http://www.gleim.com/accounting/fame/_images/woman-computer.jpg

1) Until I am measured,
I am not known.
Yet how you miss me,
When I have flown.
What am I?

2) We capture light, and yet we don't.
We reflect rays of sun, and yet we don't.
Without us all the world is gray and dull for everyone.
What are we?

3) I went to the wood, and I caught it,
Then I sat me down and sought it,
The longer I sought,
For what I had caught,
The less worth catching I thought it.
I would rather have sold it than bought it,
And when I had sought,
Without finding aught,
Home in my hand I brought it.
What Am I?

The image �http://www.link2sat.ca/content/images_1/woman_computer.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

4) Though small I am, yet, when entire,
I've force to set the world on fire.
Take off a letter and it's clear
My paunch will hold a herd of deer:
Dismiss another, and you will find
I once contained all humankind.

5) There is a certain family with both girl and boy children.
Each of the boys has the same number of brothers as he has
sisters. Each of the girls has twice as many brothers as
she has sisters. How many boys and girls are there in this
family?

6) My brother, the local bus driver, was telling me that
recently he was driving a bus full of people and nobody
got off on the way. However, at the end of the journey,
there was not a single person left on the bus. How?

7) What gets harder to catch the faster you run?

The image �http://www.etcofficeservices.net/images/business-woman-computer.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

*Answers are located in blog "comments"
for your convenience & felicity.

Family Question

Who are some of the werewolves cousins?

The whatwolves and the whenwolves.

A Letter To Friends

The image �http://www.equip123.net/webarticles/articlefiles/414-e2-AANamibiaPic3.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Dear Friends,

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee
from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are
there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the
uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand
shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed,
the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night
shines as the day; The darkness and the light are
both alike to You. For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise
You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul
knows very well. My frame was not hidden from
You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully
wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your
eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written, The
days fashioned for me, When as yet there
were none of them.

Sincerely,
David

P.S. Please see blog "comments" for additional information...

It's Only A Sign

Woman At Her Doctor's Office

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much
worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take
a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at
myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled
up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-
shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my
face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then
calmly says, "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing
wrong with your eyesight."

(The most popular joke in Australia)

Pizza-Delivery-Tip

UNC Students

What do UNC* students and coke bottles have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

*Please see blog "comments" for additional pertinent information.

Date Night

Someone took this picture of Dr. Howdy on a date...

Give It To Your Wife

'T&H' can not be held responsible for any
deaths caused by this humor.

The Only Way to Get
Where You Want To Go

http://static.flickr.com/35/121633259_3f3508e13b_m.jpg

It was a big youth event. One of the top bands around was
performing that night in a major arena, and I was part of
the program, too. I offered to be a backup singer, but
apparently they had that covered. I'm a good backup
singer. I mean, when I sing, people back up! Actually,
I was there to speak that night, and I had some young
people from our summer team there with me. One of
them was accompanying me as we tried to connect with
some of the team at another entrance. We went through
the tunnels that connect the backstage areas of the arena,
and everywhere we went, we met those big, beefy security
guys. They'd look at my all-access security pass and they'd
wave me on. But they weren't quite as friendly to the young
team member who was with me. They stopped her and asked
her if she had a pass. She didn't. None of the team members
did because they weren't on the program. That's where the
magic words came in. They worked for the girl who was with
me; they worked every time for the young people who joined
me. I would just say, "She's with me. He's with me."

LISTEN!!!

READ MORE!!!

Computer Engineers Needed

Hearts & Borders

The image �http://www.new-york-travel-services.com/images/sky_line.jpg� cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Many years ago, living for a brief time in another continent,
I befriended a woman who delighted in talking with me about
the United States. She had once visited New York City and
relished opportunities to remember it. One day I asked her
if she would ever consider moving to the States. Much to my
surprise, she quickly replied, "No!" And then she explained,
"There is much about America that is free and good, but I am
afraid the truth is that your souls are sent the bill."

MORE!!!

Error Message

Our Blog Readers Snapshot

Num	Perc.	Country Name
50	57.47%	United States
11	12.64%	Canada
4	4.60%	Sweden
4	4.60%	United Kingdom
4	4.60%	Spain
2	2.30%	South Africa
2	2.30%	Singapore
2	2.30%	Belgium
2	2.30%	Australia
2	2.30%	Malaysia
2	2.30%	Serbia & Montenegro
2	2.30%	Mongolia

from "'Thought & Humor'"

***Turn up your speaker***

More MUSIC options

at bottom of blog!!!

Do you need some corny humor in your life???

Great Thought, Riddles, Videos
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...

Updated daily!!!

What will the world find in 2020?
Leave a part of your 2006 in the Yahoo! Time Capsule. Contribute now!

#249

From: ***Professor Howdy*** <professor_conviviality@...>
Date: Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:35 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - November 13, 2006 A.D. - I had amnesia once -- or was it twice.

professor_conviviality@...

Now in nine languages!!!

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

UNC Student to Ticket Agent:
I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald...

TheRestOfTheStory!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

A UNC* student was playing Trivial Pursuit one

night.It was her turn, she rolled the dice and

she landed on "Science & Nature". Her question

was...

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness

found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack.

If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the

FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with...

"performing an illegal operation".

***********************

Check out this Blog:

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently!!!

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every

purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time

to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which

is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to

break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and

a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

(King Solomon)

NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.

===============

The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God.

In addition to historical, archaeological, and scientific

proofs, there are numerous internal proofs. No such

evidences exist for other "sacred writings."

The Bible was written during 1,600 years by 40 prophets,

most of whom lived in diverse cultures, at different times

in history, yet who never contradict but complement each

other. For the Qur'an, Muslims must take the word of

Muhammad, just as the Book of Mormon rests solely

upon Joseph Smith's word. But every biblical prophet

is confirmed by 39 other prophets. - - Dave Hunt

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'

is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information

was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought

& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor

your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,

and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience

to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's

e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such

unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

===============

EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES

Howdy will never send an email with attachments.

If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from

Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely

generated from a computer outside of 'T & H'

by a virus.

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,

230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors

that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far

as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee

Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System

Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor

Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.

Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married

Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22

Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married

Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married

Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married

Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married

Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country

Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married

John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married

Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher

Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28

Lee - 20's - GA - College Student

Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot

Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married

Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician

Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher

Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician

Phil - 50's WI - Disabled

Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married

Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry

Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married

Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary

Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister

Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother

Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet

and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation

for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.

===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S. I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defense.
Because people kill people. That's and animal instinct.

I think breaking into someone's home and ironing all

their clothes is temporary insanity.

===============

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& make poor Howdy Cry:

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---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(You are receiving this e-mail because it has been reported to

us by a close associate of yours that you are in dire need of

jocularity/ludicrousness. If you feel that this is not the case

and that you might have received this missive/memorandum

in error, please disregard or send back to your professor/colleague.

Thank you!)

>>> Share the good news <<<
Please forward this newspaper to a friend!

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Yahoo! Photos � NEW, now offering a quality print service from just 7p a photo.

#250

From: ***Professor Howdy*** <professor_ludicrous@...>
Date: Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:38 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - November 14, 2006 A.D. - Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.

professor_ludicrous@...

Now in nine languages!!!

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at

a bus stop where two English gents are waiting....

TheRestOfTheStory!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

A UNC* grad, trying to start up a
conversation with another fella said,

"Who is the ugly lady over there?"

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought

7) It is against international law to transmute any jocoseness

found in this newspaper to any school if their mascot is the Wolfpack.

If attempts are made, your computer will automatically notify the

FBI, CIA, and the KGB and you will be charged with...

"performing an illegal operation".

***********************

Check out this Blog:

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently!!!

===============

Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every

purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time

to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which

is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to

break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and

a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

===============

The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God.

In addition to historical, archaeological, and scientific

proofs, there are numerous internal proofs. No such

evidences exist for other "sacred writings."

===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,

Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,

Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned

& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal

separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at

no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is

Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ

(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of

Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world

(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,

Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,

Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up

His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,

anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,

relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall

have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.

No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,

Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,

Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)

to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)

ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good

things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -

however they are great afterwards!!!}

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that

leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),

and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow

the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'

is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information

was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought

& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great* Com-

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor

your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,

and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience

to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's

e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such

unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was

humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

===============

EMAIL ATTACHMENTS / VIRUSES

Howdy will never send an email with attachments.

If you receive an e-mail that appears to be from

Howdy but has attachments, it was most likely

generated from a computer outside of 'T & H'

by a virus.

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,

230 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

===============

Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors

that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far

as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee

Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System

Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor

Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.

Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married

Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22

Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married

Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married

Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married

Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married

Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country

Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married

John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married

Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher

Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28

Lee - 20's - GA - College Student

Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot

Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married

Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician

Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher

Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician

Phil - 50's WI - Disabled

Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married

Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry

Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married

Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary

Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister

Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother

Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet

and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation

for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.

===============

Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you

& your dynasty & an enkindling autumn pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)

P.S. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

===============

How to UNSUBSCRIBE

& make poor Howdy Cry:

Go Here: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

Warning: Unsubscribing could restrict one's opportunities for

ascertaining uninterrupted existence for same's quintessence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(You are receiving this e-mail because it has been reported to

us by a close associate of yours that you are in dire need of

jocularity/ludicrousness. If you feel that this is not the case

and that you might have received this missive/memorandum

in error, please disregard or send back to your professor/colleague.

Thank you!)

>>> Share the good news <<<
Please forward this newspaper to a friend!

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

#251

From: ***Professor Howdy*** <professor_tom_foolery@...>
Date: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:51 pm
Subject: ***Thought & Humor*** - November 15, 2006 A.D. - Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

professor_tom_foolery@...

Now in nine languages!!!

Welcome to:

'Thought & Humor'

by Howdy

Because of the climate of political correctness

now pervading America, those of us in Arkansas

and Missouri will no longer be referred to as....

TheRestOfTheStory!!!

http://dr-whoami.blogspot.com/

Updated frequently during the day!!!

************************

Be sure & read the "Comments" after each blog joke -

there's more funny stuff & letters from y'all...

Write me sometime: http://write-howdy.blogspot.com/

************************

A ragged individual stranded for months on

a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific

one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with

a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle,

he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the message...