Julia,
I now what you mean about being reluctant to give it up, I feel that I wouldn't be me if I changed.
My pyschologist gave up trying CBT on me! She would give me some positive phrases to repeat alot but I wouldn't do it, my reaction was always that it wouldn't help me so I dismissed it. When I see her I always get told that I seem to be coping well, I don't like telling her about how I think, I feel like I'd let her down. I think that this might be self-sabotage on my part, if she doesn't know about the depressed thinking she can't help with it and I get to keep it.
I'm going to make an effort to tell her the truth next time I see her, I'm going to print off my original post, I don't feel able to actually speak about the way I feel, I feel embarrassed by it and want to dismiss it.
Heather
--- In
dysthymia@yahoogrou ps.co.uk, "joviangel1978" <joviangel1978@ ...> wrote:
>
> Hi Heather,
>
> I, too, am starting to think that being depressed is just pat of who I am, and without it I don't know how my life would be. I believe that I am reluctant to banish depression from my life because it's a big part of it.
>
> How are you finding CBT? The main issue I have with it is that it makes it seem like its your fault for feeling depressed as it is entirely under your contol...then again, it could be my warped way of thinking.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Julia
>
> --- In
dysthymia@yahoogrou ps.co.uk, "Heather Walker" <h.walker07@ > wrote:
> >
> >
Hiya,
> >
> > I started seeing a CBT psychologist years ago after I was referred to her through my plastic surgeon (the left side of my face is paralysed) but at the time I was completely sceptical about how it could work. I still see the doctor and now I feel like I am finally in the right place to start working and making a difference in my head. The fact that I've been able to put into words how I feel makes me think that I might be able to tell the truth to the professionals :)
> >
> > Heather
> > --- In
dysthymia@yahoogrou ps.co.uk, claire king <sophis_lady@ > wrote:
> > >
> > > have you tried cognitive behavioural therapy?
> > >
> > >
http://www.patient. co.uk/showdoc/ 27000424> > >
> > > its normal when depressed to feel strange feelings like jealousy when others kill themselves, your brain is unhappy and looking for ways to put itself out of its own misery, but it is final once done.
> > > reading this page helped me the other day-
> > >
http://www.supportl ine.org.uk/ problems/ suicide.php> > >
> > > remove the plaster.
> > >
> > >
> > > --- On Sat, 20/6/09, Heather Walker <h.walker07@ > wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > From: Heather Walker <h.walker07@ >
> > > Subject: [dysthymia] 'Liking' depression?
> > > To:
dysthymia@yahoogrou ps.co.uk> > > Date: Saturday, 20 June, 2009, 7:27 PM
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Hi,
> > > I need to get this out cos it's going round and round in my head...
> > > I'm trying to manage myself better ie knowing warning signs that I am going down, but I feel like fighting a losing battle as I believe that I 'like' being depressed. I have been like this so long that when I am faced with anything bad getting depressed is my default reaction :( This thinking is so ingrained that I find it really hard to react appropriately. Even when watching TV and something goes wrong for a character I think that they
should get depressed. Another thing I think may be connected to my messed up world view is that when I hear or see something about someone killing themselves I don't react with horror or sympathy, I feel kind of jealous, I'm not sure why.
> > > I feel like the depression is like a plaster over a wound and admitting to myself that the way I think about some things is wrong is like removing the plaster but I think that the wound won't heal without removing plaster :(
> > >
> > > Heather
> > >
> >
>
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