You don't need to apologize for the long post, i think it was a necessary length to get your point across :)
I think its important to let our children make their own decisions, rather than force them into things, so i try to just encourage my daughter, and guide her as best i can.
Recently i have been trying to deal with bedtimes by just encouraging her to understand why sleep is so important, and she understands this and then makes the choice to go to bed a couple nights early and then a couple late, i feel more comfortable this way and i know she is happy because its her decision. I try to give as much freedom as i can as i think its an important part of respecting them as individuals, guiding her rather than deciding for her.
Look at her options, if she is gonna stay in school, then maybe she could try to be strong and not let these girls behavior affect her so much and toughen up if possible, or she can leave school and seek a happier and more positive approach to learning,
Obviously her happiness is paramount :) But if you feel really strong about taking her out of school and she disagrees with you, you have to do what you think is best really as you have her best interests at heart.
Its very likely that she will love being home educated and forget all about school once she has realized how fun and free home ed is :)
I have empathy for your situation, my daughter is 9 also, and school jarred her gentle spirit causing all manner of problems in her self and me. I don't miss the pain that school brought into our lives, we have been home educating for 3 years now and she is a much happier little girl now, following her thought and imagination freely :) My girl wanted to leave school so when i asked her if she would like to be home educated she jumped at the chance. Taking her out of school was the best choice for her, and it sounds very much like this is the best option for your girl too. I would personally encourage her to come out, as that place doesn't sound as though its bringing the best out in her.. I would also advise looking for a local home ed group, i am joined with a wonderful group and my little girl has a really good circle of friends and she doesn't miss out at all :) in fact she has a very enriched social life :) That's thanks to the group where we met some really lovely like minded people :) it has made all the difference :) I really hope this situation resolves soon, if you need any further advice please feel free to ask, you are not alone :)
From: heroseducationcentre <thirdeye1@...>
To: homeeducatorsUK@...
Sent: Monday, 16 February, 2009 21:00:55
Subject: [homeeducatorsUK] Re: How much decision making should rest with a child? (sorry long post)
I think you should listen to her, when my daughter was 5 years only
been in school one term, she was exactly the same, unhappy losing
trust in those around her and the happy fun loving girl was slowly
dissappering and I didn't know what to do. Thank godness someone
told me about home education so I took her out and its the best
thing that I ever did.
She is now 18 years old confident, happy and could achieve anything
she put her mind to. Had she stayed in the school system she would
have been a very different girl.
Take her out now, its not the end of the world if it doesent work,
you can always find another school and put her back, but I don't
reckon you would after you see the change in her.
Dawn
--- In homeeducatorsUK@ yahoogroups. co.uk, "winterguardmumma"
<winterguardmumma@ ...> wrote:
>
> Hi everyone,
> I have posted previously about wanting to remove my 9yr old
daughter
> from school because of her being unhappy. I just wondered if i am
> doing the right thing by giving her so much decision making power.
So
> far we have let her decide as to whether she wanted to stay in
school
> or be home educated. She enjoys the learning, but she has problems
> with the playground politics and she is rapidly loosing trust in
her
> teachers who continuously fail to respond when she has any
problems
> regarding her so called friends being horrible to her. To be
honest
> the school has some really stupid rules that put emphasis on the
> wrong things and the pressure to perform well is unbelievable. At
> least 3 times a week I walk out of there worrying about whether or
> not i am letting her down.
> I see my daughter becoming more and more unhappy and more focused
on
> worrying about what she got in a spelling test etc than what she
is
> actually learning, she now thinks she has been put down a level in
> literacy and feels a failure because she hasn't got
the 'handwriter
> of the week' award or a special mention for something.
> When i speak to her about HE (and thats at least once a week) she
> says she wants to stay with her friends (well one in particular)
and
> no amount of promising that she can see her out of school will
change
> her mind. She is becoming more and more disruptive at home and
admits
> her concerns are over school, yet the school repeatedly say it
isn't
> their problem.
> Part of me wants to pull her out before the damage is irrepairable
> but i know if i take the choice away fom her she will resent me
for
> it. Any suggestions? ?
>
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