Hi ya all
l'm a new member l lost my wife 6 months ago since then my step son
has gone to live with his dad not my choice! so its just me and my
son Alfie 3 now, not doing to bad keping things together. l think its
Alfie thats keept me going hope to talk to some of you soon.
Rich

Hi Alan,  My name is Morgana, I lost my fiance just 4 weeks before our wedding,
we had been together 17 years but had no children. Unfortunately he died due to
a road traffic accident. I suppose the one nice thing is you have your 2
wonderful children to remind you of your wife every time you look at them. It
does get so hard and if people who you are talking to have not been through this
they just don't understand. At least you know there are others out there who
have lost and are looking to talk to people like you. Hopefully we will
communicate soon. Take care. Morgana.

wh1tenight <no_reply@...> wrote:Hi everyone, I lost my wife to
cancer 12 years ago after 17 years of
marriage and had 2 young boys to bring up on my own. I can tell you
that it's easy for people to say time heals but even after all this
time I still feel it hard at times. If anyone wants to talk you can E-
mail me.
Alan


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Hi everyone, I lost my wife to cancer 12 years ago after 17 years of
marriage and had 2 young boys to bring up on my own. I can tell you
that it's easy for people to say time heals but even after all this
time I still feel it hard at times. If anyone wants to talk you can E-
mail me.
Alan

hi i know excatly how u feel. i lost my fiancee in a car crash. that was the
night before my big day. he went out with some mates and they decided to take
things too far and they played a prank and hit him on the bumper he lost control
of the car and he ploughed into a tree. when the police came and told me the
next day(the wedding day)i was all ready in my dress and my world came tumbling
down. people say it gets easyier but thats long term. i found that it got harder
as time went by cos the numbness went and the pain was then there!if u need to
email me at any tme then i'm here for u!love sarah

"morganahs <morganahs@...>" <morganahs@...> wrote:Hi to
everyone. I have just joined and know what it is like to loose
someone you love.

I lost my fiance in a road traffic accident, we had been together for
17years and decided to get married. Sadly I lost him just 3weeks
prior to our wedding. When you have been with someone for so long it
is very hard not having them around and being alone.

If anyone outthere is feeling the same way and wants to talk please
mail me, it would be great to talk to others who have loved and lost.
All we can ever do is the best we have with the time we have been
allowed and try to be positive although sometimes I know this gets a
little hard.


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi to everyone. I have just joined and know what it is like to loose
someone you love.

I lost my fiance in a road traffic accident, we had been together for
17years and decided to get married. Sadly I lost him just 3weeks
prior to our wedding. When you have been with someone for so long it
is very hard not having them around and being alone.

If anyone outthere is feeling the same way and wants to talk please
mail me, it would be great to talk to others who have loved and lost.
All we can ever do is the best we have with the time we have been
allowed and try to be positive although sometimes I know this gets a
little hard.

Hi, I lost my husband 16 months ago as well and I have also found
coping very hard, even with the support of family and friends. I dont
go out much, and my dogs are my constant companions.

It is now 16 months and nothing has changed.

I still just plod along.  I make friends but only for outings,
theatre etc.

I was told it will get easier with time, I am still waiting.

For a long time I felt I could find all the answers to the Why
Questions. After excepting that I didnt have to go through this
alone I receving some brillent councilling I relised some questions
you will never have the answers to. For your own preservation an
exceptance that you wont find all the answers has to be reached.

If i didnt look after me i couldnt look after my kids wealthfare so
it was important to reach a state of equalbrium for their sakes.
Thats why the councilling was so important.

Take offers of help and seak out help from your GP.

hi my name is sarah and 19 years old and on the 18th october 2002 my
fiancee was taken away from me by a horrific car crash that his so
called mates caused. was he dead or dying when they left him? alone
on that lonley road in the dark? why did it take so long to find
him? why did people just drive on by? 2 hrs passed and he's still
there this time dead and alone waiting for someone. then a car a
post man on his way to work he finds my love slumped over wheel.
rings 999. then the waiting. 8hrs to find his parents then me 2 hrs
later. the hard thing is we went to identify him he looked so
peacefull. why did he go? how could he leave me all alone? then the
waiting again. waited 2 months for the funeral due to the police
investigation. then christmas carrying on regardless. why does
nobody understand i don't want it just doing it cos it's normal. why
was he taken b4 our wedding? the pain hurt more when going around
everywhere having to cancel what should hve been the happiest day of
my life. trying to explain through the tears but i had to go on! i
feel so alone as i seem to be coping on the outside by inside i'm
loosing control. my thoughts are of him constantly and my tears
  never seem to finish.now more waiting for the inquest for the
trial. me  have to be strong to make them pay for what they did but
can i stay strong forever? the reality seems unbearable and
sometimes is so un belivable but other times it all too true.

This is my first Christmas alone.  It is also Margaret's birthday
and
the first anniversary of her passing. (29th Dec.)

She is with me still
In the summer warmth
And the winter chill
In the sound of birds that sing
In the toll of a distant church bells ring
Her love, her laughter, her caring way
Is with me still
Even unto this day






Peter (c)2002

Good that people actually create groups like this... I needed it
once.. but am getting better now email me would be nice to talk


:-) Paul

Do you find that the September 11th is very upseting and brings back
your own feelings of grief.

Losesing someone you love you never quite get over it.  You think you
are leading a normal life and there is no reason for you to be sad,
but yet you are.

one lady from sept 11th who lost here husband and she said you could
be in a room full of 10,000 people and you would still feel alone.

Loss changes your whole perseption of life of whats important and
whats not important?

--- In iam
notthere@y..., mghbabe <no_reply@y...>
Hi again mghbabe
    Hope your feeling a little better now. Your welcome as we all need
help,if you ever feel down again let me know and I will help you if I
can
xxxx

To wh1tenight

Thanx

xxxxxxxxxxx

--- In iamnotthere@y..., mghbabe <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> Hi again,
           Yes most of us feel the same way as you do, it's been
almost 11 years for me and it is still hard at special times of the
year. Even if you go away for that time you will still feel it hard,
our thoughts are with you at this time. Take care and hope to hear
from you soon

Hi there, it's me again, not been on web for ages. How y'all feelin?
I'm coming up to the 1st anniversary and it's all a bit dodgy. I
think I'll go away, but then I wanna be at home, but think I'll go
away for the kidz sake. Bit up n down, will be for ages. It's still
just so wierd, still can't believe it sometimes, does anyone else
feel that way?

Hi all,


I am 35 and on the 16th of May 2002 I lost my wife to cancer, she was
32.  I have two children of 8 and 11 years.  I was holding her as she
died and it was very peaceful.  I was surprised (but not bitter) at
the sudden decline in her condition as only 10 days before she died
we were walking around Sainsburys doing the weekly shop.  My children
are or seem to be coping with the situation admirably although I
believe they will need a lot of support as they get older.

It hurts so, as we loved each other so very much and although we were
only together 13 years I will miss her every day of my life until we
are together again.

Thanks for reading

Avin

Im so glad that you are using the group.  I hope it helps you find
other people in a similar situation who you know will understand what
you are going through.

Thoes early months can be so very hard to cope with at times it feels
like a big black hole you cant climb out of.  But you do start to
find a way it realy does take time.

hi thanks
           for the e-mail its been hard as we was
always togever and never apart now i got a daughter
that is 14yr and a grandson and he is 10yr now i got
to look after now i know what house work is like i
would like to make friends but my wife will always be
with me butthe big thing is that i have got thoracic
aorta and liveing day by day . but you dont know what
you got until you lose it

                  thanks frank

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--- In iamnotthere@y..., "bigfrank210" <bigfrank210@y...>
Hi bigfrank
        Sorry to hear about your wife but I know just how you feel
mate I lost my wife 11 years ago to cancer. She was just 35 and it
hurts so bad, I still feel it hard yet. You will find it hard just
now and if you need help just get in touch as I still find it hard to
accept but you just have to we are all thinking of you at this time

hi all
       new to this club i only just lost my wife on the 22 march 2002
she was only 45yrs and would have been married 30yrs on the 6 of may
and its hard to get your head round it

Peter, I thought that the pain I was feeling was
not a normal thing, I thought "Nobody could Love
anybody more than I did Margaret" but after reading the
letters in this Club I realised that every single loss
was as great as the one that I was suffering, I'm
like you I find it hard to accept that I will never
see her smile in the morning or that Kiss goodnight
or those quiet moments when we were together when
nothing else mattered. The only thought that keeps me
going at the moment is that all the pain has gone for
her and now she is with her Mum and Dad and one day
we will walk hand in hand again.

Hi Jim!<br><br>Sorry for your loss. No one can
know the terrible pain of losing a loved one unless
they have experienced it first hand.<br>My Margaret
passed away on 29th Dec. 2001, so it is only a short
time. I likewise am hoping that time will dull the
ache.<br><br>I still find it hard to accept that she will never
again walk in through the door.<br><br>Peter

Since my Dear Wife passed away on Jan 10th I have
searched for some sort of peace in all the sadness that
seems to be in my Heart. We were together for 30yrs and
the last 2yrs were taken up with her illness, but we
found a very Special Love throughout this time, as each
day passed we new we were coming to the time we would
have to part yet we came closer and closer as time
went by. In a way it made it harder to say Goodbye and
when she died in my arms I felt a Peace come over both
of us but the sadness in my heart is overwhelming
me. I know that it is not long since her Death but
does it get easier as time goes bye.

Dear Peter,<br>what a nice thing to do, your poem
is a nice tribute to your wife.<br>Hope that you
don't mind, but, I have used your previous posts
poem(the Indian one) slightly modified on a floral tribute
to my wife.<br>It was such a moving poem I just had
to use it.<br>It seems that your wife suffered a lot
and I am most sorry to hear that.<br>My wife on the
other hand passed away very suddenly, there was no
pain, she was smiling to the end. <br>After all that,
The pain we both feel would be the same.<br>Kind
regards<br>Frank (duke)

HELP<br>By<br>Peter©2001<br><br>‘I need help!’ is
something a man doesn’t say<br>He stands on his feet and
makes his own way<br><br>He braves all
misfortune<br>And takes whatever comes<br>He stands and he
fights<br>And never ever runs<br><br>But that is on the
outside<br>No one sees inside<br>The anguish and the
turmoil<br>That he tries to hide<br><br>He looks on
helplessly<br>As his loved one slips away<br>Growing ever
weaker<br>A little more each day<br><br>Nothing can be
done<br>No one knows the answer<br>Will they ever find a
cure<br>For that modern plague<br>CANCER

Hi Duke!<br><br>You had 14 years, we only had 7
years together and only 5 of those years married.<br>I
get lots of offers of help from friends & family but
nothing helps. Nothing fills the emptyness. Nothing takes
away the feeling of helplessness. I am just hoping
that time will dull the pain.<br>Peter

My Dear friend, I feel the same pain as you
do.<br>My birthday is also the same day as your wife.<br>My
wife passed away on the 2nd of January aged 44, the
funeral is next Monday 14th January.<br>We will never
forget her. Her heart of gold will always shine.

Funeral was 7th Jan 2002<br><br>I am new to this
page. <br><br>My Darling Margaret died on her Birthday
29th Dec. At least now her pain has now
stopped.<br><br>At her graveside this American Indian poem was
read.<br><br>'I give you this one thought to keep -<br>I am with
you still - I do not sleep.<br>I am a thousand winds
that blow,<br>I am the diamond glints on snow.<br>The
sunlight on ripened grain,<br>I am the gentle autumn
rain.<br>When you awaken in the mornings hush<br>I am the swift
uplifting rush <br>Of quiet birds in circled flight.<br>I
am the soft stars that shine at night.<br>Do not
think of me as gone - <br>I am with you still - in each
new dawn.'

Hello, I have just lost my wife after 14 years of
being married, although we have been together for 26
years. Still trying to come to terms with it.<br>I found
this club and thought I may seek some comfort here
from people who have had similar experience to
me.<br>My profile is up to date.<br>Would any one like to
e-mail or chat to help me through.<br>Kind
regards<br>DUKE.