Apologies for the frivolity, but the following
satire on the debate about downgrading Pluto's
status as a planet amused me.

What hope for science education?

Of course, there is a serious morale in here
about the social construction of reality, but
that may just be an excuse for passing this on.

Best wishes

Keith


>Sender: Physics Teaching News and Comments <PTNC@...>
>From: Robert Hollow <Robert.Hollow@...>
>Subject: Re: [PTNC] IAU resolutions about Pluto
>To: PTNC@...
>
>Š
>Just for fun I have included below another resolution following the IAU
>one that was sent to me yesterday.
>
>"ASTRONOMY LOSES "MAJOR SCIENCE" STATUS, SAYS WORLD SCIENCE FEDERATION
>
>In a surprising announcement, the World Science Federation said today
>that the field of astronomy will no longer be recognized as a major
>science along with the likes of physics and chemistry. Instead it is
>being reclassified as a "trans-earth auxiliary scientific pursuit"
>according to a new taxonomy laid down by the WSF, the international
>scientific community's governing body.
>
>"This is a painful issue that we've been grappling with for some time,"
>said Dr. Jean-Sven Johansson, president of the WSF. "The study of the
>heavens has been considered a science since prehistoric times. But if it
>were just discovered today, with all we've learned in the intervening
>millennia, there's no way we would categorize astronomy as a major
>science. It is too soft, too based on speculative theories, and too far
>removed from the everyday world."
>
>"[The reclassification] is a difficult but ultimately correct decision,"
>read a supporting statement from the United States Council of
>Scientists. "While we are sympathetic for practitioners of astronomy, we
>believe that the sanctity of science demands a more rigorous test for
>inclusion than merely a few centuries of tradition."
>
>The news is a bitter pill for astronomers to swallow. For years they
>have endured derision from their colleagues in the so-called 'hard'
>sciences of physics, chemistry, and mathematics. Only recently had
>astronomers believed they'd earned a measure of overdue respect from the
>broader community of scholars. Stunning discoveries from the Hubble
>Space Telescope, plus new theories on the origins of the universe, had
>put astronomy into the forefront of public consciousness.
>
>The WSF's announcement changes all that. While astronomy will still be
>studied in schools and research institutions, its practitioners may no
>longer refer to themselves "scientists". No future Ph.D. degrees may be
>conveyed by accredited universities of science. However, a grandfather
>clause allows current doctoral students to complete their studies and
>earn degrees within 18 months.
>
>Perhaps the most significant changes are in matters of protocol when
>scientists meet. Astronomers will still be permitted to attend academic
>gatherings, but they must defer to official scientists in lectures,
>workshops, and buffet lines. They must also refrain from displaying
>items that identify themselves as scientists, such as t-shirts or vanity
>license plates.
>
>Reaction to the WSF's announcement among astronomers was a mixture of
>disappointment and outrage.
>
>"I am very saddened by this decision," said Dr. Velikov Vonk, noted
>planetologist and author of the seminal paper 'On Renaming The Big Bang
>To Something More Dignified.' "Astronomers have added much to the rich
>history of science and to our understanding of the universe around us. I
>pray the WSF will reconsider."
>
>"It is disheartening, but not altogether unexpected," added Arpad
>Arkabaranan, a researcher at the University of New Jersey. "Rumors have
>been circulating throughout the scientific community for several months.
>Personally, I find it the pedantic act of a self-important panel. It
>accomplishes little more than fostering confusion among schoolchildren
>and requiring countless textbooks and encyclopedias to be rewritten, all
>for the sake of purity of nomenclature. Does the WSF not have any more
>important issues to worry about?"
>
>Other astronomers accepted the news with less equanimity.
>
>"Who died and left them boss?" fumed William McGilly, a propulsion
>engineer with NASA's Goddard Research Center. "I wonder what science is
>next on their hit list. If I were an anthropologist or a geologist or a
>cosmetologist, I'd be putting together my resume quickly."
>
>Dr. Johansson points out that astronomy has not been kicked out of the
>scientific club entirely Rather, it will become "auxiliary scientific
>pursuit #1", the first in a new category of demi-sciences under the
>WSF's revised hierarchy. "We will rename astronomy as 'trans-earth
>studies' to reflect its new status," says Johansson. "We believe that
>after the disappointment fades, astronomers will be proud and excited to
>act as the trailblazers in this exciting new arena."
>
>Still, the WSF's announcement could not have come at a worse time to a
>field that was felt it was close to turning the corner. Notable
>breakthroughs in coming years would have included the Mars Lander, the
>International Space Station, and the much-anticipated results of a joint
>Canadian and Japanese task force to develop a pronunciation of Uranus
>that would not make high school students giggle. ("That was going to be
>huge for us," says Vonk
>forlornly.)
>
>The new classification takes effect on April 1st, giving astronomers
>precious little time to solve what might be their last problem as
>scientists. For years, English-speaking children have been taught the
>phrase 'My very earnest mother just served us nine pickles' to remember
>the names of the nine planets in order. ('My' stands for Mercury,
>'very' for Venus, etc.). If astronomers downgrade Pluto to a minor solar
>object as planned, possibly as their final act before losing their own
>official status, a new mnemonic will be necessary. The solution has
>eluded astronomers and linguists from around the globe.
>
>Ponders Arkabaranan: "My very earnest mother just served us....nutmeg?
>Nachos? New England Clam Chowder? Oh, poop! Give us time, we'll think of
>something."
>
>[nps. Thanks to Mr. R.A. Lafferty for his assistance in this story.]
>
>(JV: This was based on the rumour that the IAU declared that Pluto was
>not a planet in January 1999. The IAU denied this later. It only added
>it to the list of trans-Neptunian objects. What is a planet anyway?)"
>
>Cheers
>
>Rob
>
>***************************************************************
>Robert Hollow
>Education Officer
>Australia Telescope National Facility
>PO Box 76 Epping NSW 1710
>AUSTRALIA
>robert.hollow@...
>Visit our Outreach and Education website at:
>http://outreach.atnf.csiro.au
>http://www.atnf.csiro.au/people/Robert.Hollow/
>ph +61 (0)2 9372 4247
>fax +61 (0)2 9372 4444
>***************************************************************


--
Dr. Keith S. Taber
University of Cambridge Faculty of Education