Note: forwarded message attached.

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Call 08709 000032 to give or donate online now at
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Alternative Tentacles 05.23.2003

Alternative Tentacles Newsletter Freemail
http://www.alternativetentacles.com

May 23, 2003

For all of you who want to know what is going on in the crazy world of
Alternative Tentacles Records.

If you want to be deleted please do so at :
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/newslist.php




IN THIS ISSUE : ATR 05.23.03



++++ In America, it's Memorial Day Weekend  +++++

++++ Brand new from Alternative Tentacles:  +++++

++++ Introducing our new series of Family Members of AT releases! ++++

++++ Here's our picks of the best of the rest of non-Alternative
Tentacles releases ++++

++++ Brand New DVDs for your viewing pleasure! ++++

++++ Rad new books available from Alternative Tentacles! ++++






++++ In America, it's Memorial Day Weekend  ++++


Whoa!  This weekend is packed out with mischievous madness from your
favorite source for musical misfits and spoken word savviness. Not only
a Jello Biafra doing some spoken word date, but the Fleshies touching
down briefly in the Bay Area between their European and US tours! The
main reason for this e-mail is to tell you that Alternative Tentacles is
also having the mother of all Mischievious Memorial Day Sales! You can
bet that your local mall will NOT be featuring any of the following
subversive material!


++++ Brand new from Alternative Tentacles:  ++++

ARUNDHATI ROY / HOWARD ZINN
Come September- in Coversation with Howard Zinn
virus 303 (2003)
With lyricism and passion, Roy contextualizes the recent invasion of
Iraq with her unflinching analysis of U.S.-sponsored interventions
around the globe as well as her exploration of "you're either with us or
with the terrorists" brand of nationalism. Come September also features
her conversation with Howard Zinn on the writing process and the
politics of being an artist. Available exclusively through this site
until August!
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=644


ARTICLES OF FAITH / VIC BONDI
Fortunate Son
Virus 299 (2003)
The first new Vic Bondi (Articles Of Faith) song in 8 years! The threat
of war has inspired him to write and record "Hardball"- a rockin
anti-Georgw W. tune- as well as covering John Fogerty's Fortunate Son -
the single best song about class and war ever written. Also included are
2 all-too-relevant Articles of Faith classics!
CD EP - $5.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=570


FLESHIES
The Sicilian
Virus 297 (2003)
This unrelenting assault pushes punk in a new direction. Loud,
hilarious, concise and ugly: FLESHIES whip audiences into a frenzy.
Producer Alex Newport wrung the savviest sounds of subversion from one
of the world's foremost fun and intelligent bands. The Sound of the New
Punk Rock! Continuously on Tour!!!
LP - $9.00 / CD - $12.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=544


JIM HIGHTOWER
The People Are Revolting (in the very best sense of that word)
Virus 296 (2003)
In this hilarious and inspiring talk, America's #1 Populist, Jim
Hightower, not only points out the plutocratic, autocratic and
anti-democratic shortcomings of "Dubya" and his band of Bushites, he
also points the way toward a revitalized Progressive political movement
that is taking root across America. Intro by the late Senator Paul
Wellstone.
CD - $12.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=543



+++ Introducing our new series of Family Members of AT releases! Hear
what muses your pals here at AT and over at AK Press follow in their
leisure time lives! Who knew? Now we all do! +++



CANDYSNATCHERS/CHEAP DATES
This is Rock N Roll (2000)
Blazing punk and roll from two dear departed local S.F. Bay Area bands.
The Candy Snatchers decimate side one, while the female-led Cheap Dates
destroy side two! Part of the new Family Members of AT Series! Limited
and out-of-print!
CD SALE - $10.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=538

FOLK THIS!
Banks of Marble (2003)
This astonishingly traditional folk music record is chock full of
originals and faithful and not-so-faithful covers of Phil Ochs, Woody
Guthrie, Victpr Jara, Joan Baez, WWI trench songs, IWW protest
favorites, "Pippi Longstocking", the title track, and more! Folk This!
is a local ever-revolving group of political activists, including AK
Press co-founder Ramsey Kanaan. Part of the new Family Members of AT
Series! Catch their live performance at many Bay Area protest marches!
CD SALE! - $10.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=597

CRIMINALS
Extinct (2001)
Last tunes ever recorded by local punk madmen The Criminals! Features 4
original tunes found nowhere else, an AC/DC cover, and 3 re-recorded
Criminals classics! Part of the new Family Members of AT Series! Out of
Print and impossible to find, only a few copies left!
CD SALE! - $10.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=595




+++ Here's our picks of the best of the rest of non-Alternative
Tentacles releases, from weird offshoots of your favorite bands to the
newest collaborations to rare and out-of-print releases from some of us
current and former Bat-sters.+++


JELLO BIAFRA / VARIOUS ARTISTS
Salt In The Wound (2003)
Three brand new anti-war pro-peace tunes from Carpet Bombers from Peace
(featuring Jello Biafra!) and Change (produced by Penny Rimbaud of
Crass!), and a blazing new tune from peace punk legends Conflict!
Imported from Britain, check out this tasty musical treat. We are the
only US source for this cdep! All profits will go to the Stop The War
coalition.
CD EP (Import) - $7.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=634

JARBOE
Dissected - A Collection Of Remixes (2003)
Brand new CD from former SWAN, and World Of Skin member, Jarboe. This is
a limited edition release only available in a few places such as here
(no barcode even!) 12 tracks in all - all re-mixed by various
bands/people such as Lustmord, Thread, Bildeaux, Jean Marmiesse, Burnt
Media, Brian Castillo, Blackworld, dj goofuserectus,etc. 2 songs are
brand new - never heard before. All songs radically remixed; for fans of
Jarboe, SWANS, electronica, goth, industrial,....
CD - $12.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=647

WIRE
Send (2003)
I always thought old bands were supposed to suck if they are still
around 20 years later- in Wire's case, I'm totally wrong! The band's
best album in over a decade! Infectious buzz punk by Colin Newman, Bruce
Gilbert and Co, On their own "Pink Flag" records.
CD - $13.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=650

JELLO BIAFRA / VARIOUS ARTISTS
Governments Accountable to Society and Citizens = Democracy
gascd 01 (2001)
Crazily diverse benefit compilation that originated from
anti-globalization protests in Canada! 2 cds including Jello Biafra, Ani
Difranco, Gil Scott-Heron, Propaghandi, Barenaked Ladies, Tragically
Hip, Sex Mob, Michael Franti (ex-Beatnigs!) and oh, SO much more!
2xCD - $15.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=646

SMOKEY & MIHO
s/t (2003)
Featuring their original song "Ocean In Your Eyes" from the Soundtrack
to the hit movie "Y Tu Mama Tambien" is now in its third pressing. 5
song ep from Miho Hatori of Cibo Matto and Gorillaz and the guitarist
Smokey Hormel (Beck; Tom Waits) Musically its latin bossanova lounge
jazz.
CD EP - $9.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=561

SMOKEY & MIHO
Tempo de Amor - Songs By Baden Powell (2003)
Inspired by the 1966 album "Os Afro Sambas," Smokey and Miho interpret
songs by Brazilian greats Baden Powell and Vinicius De Moraes. 5 song ep
from Miho Hatori of Cibo Matto and Gorillaz and the guitarist Smokey
Hormel (Beck; Tom Waits) Musically it's latin bossanova lounge jazz.-
check it out!
CD EP - $9.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=562

LYDIA LUNCH
Hangover Hotel
widow 01 (2003)
This cd direct from Lydia Lunch contains obscure collaborations,
haunting live material, and a sultry version of Tom Waits classic "Heart
Attack and Vine". This is a great aural snapshot of this underground
legend's recent work 1995-2000, for long-time fans and new fans alike!
CD - $12.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=625

LYDIA LUNCH
In Our Time of Dying (2003)
Lydia Lunch's blistering attack on the "American War Whores' Race to
Global Destruction"! You have never heard her so eloquent, so profane,
or so pissed! Recorded live, featuring Terry Edwards . Brand new and
incredibly timely!
CD - $12.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=626

AMEBIX
Make Some Fucking Noise! (2003)
The official re-issue of this out of print bootleg from one of the most
famous crust bands ever! The mighty Amebix return with six tracks of
totally remastered doom laden crust core, live in Ljubljana, Slovenia,
1986. Liner notes by the Baron himself.
CD - $13.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=629

WOVEN HAND
S/T (2003)
The latest from 16 Horsepower under a different name despite sounding
alot like the latest 16 Horsepower album. If you like Slim Cessna, Munly
and those goth folk country bands, you'll love this. Great cover of
"Ain't No Sunshine".
CD - $13.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=604

THE FALL
Fall In A Hole (2003)
A live recording from Auckland NZ from 1982 that has been out of print
for many yaers and has just been re-issued on the FALL"s own Cog
Sinister label! 2 CDs full of classic FALL from the early days. 16
songs. Lengthy CD booklet with photos, lyrics, gibberish, art, ....
2xCD - $14.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=593




+++ Brand New DVDs for your viewing pleasure! Expand your horizons with
one of the neatest new home entertainment gadgets in years... come on
ride the train, the DVD train!+++


DOA
Greatest Shits 1978-1998
20 years of troublemaking from these classic Canuck punks! 10 regular
videos plus live videos, interviews, and so much more! Includes comments
by Jello Biafra, Henry Rollins, and Dave Grohl! All Region Compatible!
Brand New DVD release!
DVD - $20.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=649

DOA
The End
Now out on dvd, it's the Canadian punk veterans live in 1990 in San
Francisco. This was their first (and so far only) farewell tour at the
DNA Lounge, and Jello Biafra joins them onstage! Bonus features include
a rad in-depth interview with band leader Joey "Shithead" Keithley and 3
videos!
DVD - $20.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=648

RESIDENTS
Icky Flix
ICKY FLIX contains an hour of classic 20th Century Residents video,
which also contains about 30 minutes of brand new animation/videos,
including "Contstantinople", and new 'movie' versions of the Gingerbread
Man, and Bad Day on the Midway. All Region compatible!
DVD - $25.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=643

WESLEY WILLIS
The Daddy Of Rock 'n' Roll
Of coures it was only a matter of time before a DVD was released about
our enigmatic hero - Wesley Willis. We are so happy for him that we are
carrying it in our mailorder (it has nothing to do with the label) and
we are putting it on sale! The Suggested Retail Price is $19.98 and we
are seling them for $16.00)
DVD - $16.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=631

DISINFO.COM
The Complete Series (2x DVD)
Truly shocking and subversive 2-dvd set from these masters of the
not-so-obvious! Not only are there the broadcast shows from British
Channel 4, but there's also a ton of censored and unaired material from
the show's two seasons. Bonus features include exclusive footage and
interviews from the Disinfo.com live event! Six Hours of Subversion! All
Region compatible!
DVD - $30.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=632

VARIOUS ARTISTS
T.V. Eye Volume 1 & 2
The first two T.V. EYE video magazines on one DVD includes Queens of the
Stone Age, Nebula, High on Fire, Unida, Goatsnake, Drunk Horse, Lost
Goat, Mudhoney, J. Mascis (Dinosaur, Jr.) & The Fog, Murder City Devils,
Zen Guerrilla, The Heads, and more. Plus live footage, interviews,
depravity and music videos, including bonus footage that was not on
either of the videos!
DVD - $20.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=630

VARIOUS ARTISTS
What I've Learned About US Foreign Policy: The War Against the Third World
It's never too late to discover what you didn't learn in school and
don't hear on the mainstream media! 10 videos, including the Panama
Deception, Martin Luther King Jr, ex-CIA man John Stockwell, Amy
Goodman, Ramsey Clark, Father Roy Bourgeois on the School Of Assassins,
Bill Moyers 'The Secret Government' and more. All Region Compatible!
DVD - $16.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=641


HALF JAPANESE
The Band Who Would Be King
A humorous look at Maryland-bred band Half Japanese, from their early
recording-in-the-bedroom days to their current underground success. A
funny look at the music scene, featuring Penn Jillette, Moe Tucker, and
several record moguls and music journalists. Only available for U.S. and
Canadian dvd players so far! Sorry!
DVD - $25.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=605

GUERRILLA NEWS NETWORK
Ammo For The Info Warrior
Great cutting edge political entertainment from those digital daredevils
of the Guerilla News Network. This future classic compilation collects 9
videos, including the 2002 Sundance winner 'Crack The CIA' and
'Countdown'- Beastie Boy's Ad Rock remix of Ralph Nader's blistering
critique of the news media. This is what the New Media is all about! All
Region compatible!
DVD - $25.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=621

JAMES LONGLEY
Gaza Strip
Gaza Strip is an extraordinary and painful journey into the lives of
Palestinians in the Gaza Strip struggling with the day-to-day trials of
the Israeli occupation. This DVD of this future classic includes a ton
of added features and information! All Region compatible. Part of our
Investigating Israel and Palestine selection!
DVD - $30.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=622





+++ Rad new books available from Alternative Tentacles! Everything from
sex to international politics to gig posters to wingnuts to tour stories
to Jello Biafra to John Waters... rock it, read it, revel in it!+++


LYDIA LUNCH / VARIOUS AUTHORS
Sex and Guts Issue 4
Brand new from Lydia Lunch and Gene Gregorits! A 288 page, fully
illustrated compendium of interviews, photos, articles, and short
stories. Interviews include Jello Biafra, John Waters, Margaret Cho,
Hubert Selby, Jr., Jim Goad, Nick Tosches, Jerry Stahl and many, many
others. Engaging, radical reading about/by some of today's most creative
malcontents in music, literature, film, and fine art!
Book - $20.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=627

GORE VIDAL
Dreaming War
America's most relevant mainstream critic confronts the Cheney-Bush
junta head on in a series of devastating essays that demolish the lies
American Empire lives by, unveiling a counter-history that traces the
origins of America's current imperial ambitions to the experience of
World War Two and the post-war Truman doctrine. And now, with the
Cheney-Bush leading us into permanent war, Vidal asks whose interests
are served by this doctrine of pre-emptive war? Brand new!
Book - $12.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=645

ARUNDHATI ROY
War Talk
This eloquent and passionate collection of essays highlights the global
rise of militarism and religious and racial violence, calling into
question the equation of nation and ethnicity. This brand new book is a
great companion to her brand new A.T. spoken word release (virus 303).
Absolutely timely and incisive!
Book - $12.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=639

NOAM CHOMSKY
Pirates And Emperors, Old And New : International Terrorism In the Real World
Brand new updated edition of Chomsky's classic dissection of terrorism
explores the role of the US in the Middle East and reveals how the media
are used to manipulate public opinion about what constitutes
'terrorism'.
Book - $18.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=640

WENDY-O MATIK
Redefining Our Relationships- Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships
This entertaining book is also a serious, thoughtful (and
thought-provoking) comprehensive introduction to, and examination of, a
much misunderstood and misused practice. A damn fine read, with as much
to offer to the faithfully monogamous as to those looking for a bit more
out of life, love and relationships.
Book Sale! - $10.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=628

STEPHEN ZUNES
Tinderbox: US Middle East Policy And The Roots Of Terrorism
Will our democracy be defined by dominance? Or by the higher values we
constantly espouse? This is the central question facing us in the wake
of 9-11, and Stephen Zunes examines the causes and effects of global
terrorism. Zunes offers varied solutions to resolve the constantly
devolving state of international diplomacy and world peace.
Book - $18.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=638

DISINFO.COM
Abuse Your Illusions- the Disinformation Guide to Media Mirages
From the editor of of You Are Being Lied To and Everything You Know is
Wrong, Abuse Your Illusions is another enormous collection of writings
about misinformation, deception, and outright lies from the media, the
government, and the establishment. This is the fourth installment in the
radical and engaging Disinformation series! Hot off the presses!
Book - $25.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=633

FIREHOUSE - CHUCK SPERRY & RON DONOVAN
Eyesore: Recent from Firehouse
Intense, blazing, spectacular band and poster art from these
acknowledged masters of the bold Kozik-Coop style gig poster! Chuck
Sperry & Ron Donovan created the Firehouse Kustom Rockart Company to
entertain the crap out of your eyes!! Krazy Koffee Table Kustom Rockart
book here now forever!
Book - $25.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=589

MICHAEL AZERRAD
Our Band Could Be Your Life-Scenes from the American Indie Underground 1981-1991
This 500+ page tome is the never-before-told story of the musical
revolution that happened right under the nose of the Reagan Eighties -
features Black Flag, The Minutemen, Mission of Burma, Minor Threat,
Hüsker Dü, The Replacements, Sonic Youth, Butthole Surfers, Big Black,
Dinosaur Jr, Fugazi, Mudhoney, Beat Happening, and more!
Book - $16.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=636

JOHN YATES
Controlled Flight into Terrain - Stealworks Anthology 3.0
Hot off the presses!!! Cool black & white image collections designed by
past (and sometimes current) Alternative Tentacles graphic artist, John
Yates.Great new collection of incisive, political, clever, and striking
images from the mastermind behind such classic underground images as
"Democracy We Deliver" and "Officer Friendly"! Never boring, always
entertaining!
Book - $11.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=590

JON RESH
Amped
An engaging and entertaining snapshot of real life on the road for
d.i.y. punk bands. Their band was named Spoke, their car was named
Pierre, and they knew a guy named Bill Crump. Rad! A real-life part of
our Punks in Print selection!
Book - $4.50
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=581

MARC AND RAE CALVARY
Sad Libs
book 101 (2003)
Sad Libs is a deliciously macabre parody of the ever-popular Mad Libs
(c) books. Instead of supplying nouns, verbs, and adjectives for wacky
situations, the reader supplies words for letters about death, suicide,
running over pets, beer goggles, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and
more! Tons of fun for those of us who revel in black humor and
double-edged wit!
Book - $4.00
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/product.php?product=596





Check out ALL the cool Books, Shirts, CDs & DVDs....at :
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/store.php?







If you want to be deleted please do so at :
http://www.alternativetentacles.com/newslist.php

Note: forwarded message attached.

__________________________________________________
Yahoo! Plus
For a better Internet experience
http://www.yahoo.co.uk/btoffer

This Week:
* ANIM - Elephants. Yeah
* INTERVIEW - Tunbridge Monkey Man Tells All
* QUIZ - He-Nail Or She-Nail

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 88 - 16 May 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue88/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
 
-------------------------------------------------

: I WANT A ELEPHANT
  Yes I do

  Rob Manuel writes -

  "I fucking love elephants. They've got big
  stompy feet and long twiddly noses.

  "I can contain myself no more. I have decided
  to share my feelings with the world through
  the medium of song and badly drawn animation."
 
  It's like the White Stripes, with tusks.
http://www2.b3ta.com/elephant/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHO IS THE MONKEY SUPERHERO?
  We know. He he he

  For the last few weeks the world's media has
  been perplexed by the escapades of a mysterious
  'superhero' in the sleepy town of
  Tunbridge Wells.
 
  There was even a reward offered for his secret
  identity. The truth? It was a hoax by b3ta
  member ccc.

  He tells his story for the first time here.
http://www.b3ta.com/interview/monkeyman/


-------------------------------------------------

: GIVE US YOUR MONEY
  please please please

  As you hopefully know, b3ta is run out of our
  passion for the Internet and not some tragic
  get rich quick scheme.

  We have heavy costs and rely on your donations
  to pay for our server.

  Recently we've touched our bandwidth limit and
  have been forced to rent a second server to
  keep going.

  If you've enjoyed b3ta over the last (nearly)
  two years then please dig deep and throw in
  a bit of cash so we can afford to pay for it.
http://b3ta.com/features/appeal/


-------------------------------------------------

: HE-NAIL OR SHE-NAIL
  Can you tell?

  Andrew writes -

  "I'm a chap who find nails the most exciting
  thing on a woman - as opposed to breasts / legs
  / name your thing here - I'm just made that way.

  "I have unashamedly borrowed your Female or
  Shemale idea to produce He-nail or She-nail,
  a quiz for our readers. You might like to
  give it a go."

  Although, actually, you might not want to if
  you find fingernails a bit icky. To be
  honest, it made us hungry for pasta.
http://www.nailpassion.com/quiz/quiz.htm


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Shipman, Pastaroids, Meerkat bigots, Cannon

  >> Harold Shipman Nursery Rhyme <<
  Remember the Tiramisu song from a few weeks
  back? Suz and Lexwest are back with more.
  This time a little ditty about Harold
  Shipman. We love these people. There's an
  unhinged childlike quality about their work
  which is simply wonderful.
http://www.suz.and-then.org/flash/harold.swf


  >> Pastaroids <<
  You remember Asteroids, yeah? Did you ever
  feel it lacked something? You were right.
  It was lacking beautifully photographed
  pasta shapes. Thanks to Andrew Crowe for
  sorting that one out. TIP: Use your cursor
  to move and Z to fire.
http://www.mantasoft.co.uk/games/pasteroids2/


  >> Ban This Homophobic Meerkat Filth <<
  "I purchased yourallgay.com this week",
  writes Reverend Dan, "and I thought I should
  do something... well... gay. I'm very proud
  of it, particularly Oscar Wilde playing the
  pink oboe." It's really very good. But we're
  starting to feel it may be time for a new
  joke now.
http://www.yourallgay.com


  >> Crap Cannon <<
  "Me and a few mates tried to build a fearsome
  cannon out of household waste", writes LP,
  "It didn't work that well, but it's funny,
  because it's rubbish." Warning: it's a bit
  anticlimactic for a 7MB video but it made
  us smile. Bless.
http://www.lpbk.net/whynot/pringles/


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Inkblot Test <<
  Are you mad? Do you rub your soft bits under
  the desk and make growling noises at the
  sandwich lady? Find out with this handy quiz.
http://www.worth1000.com/toys/inkblot/default.asp


  >> My PC Is A Sexy Lady <<
  Some people go too far customising their
  computers. In this case it involves turning
  the entire thing into a rather Lara Croft
  looking woman. The end result is fantastic,
  but the question is: why oh why?
http://divxstation.com/comm/thread.asp?i=16&t=25160&r=0


  >> Wanking Stories <<
  We all know wanking is great, but the question
  is "How great?" Find out by reading these
  confessional tales of furtive self abuse.
  Sample quote: "Once, when I was 11, I closed the
  refrigerator door on myself, I pumped hard, and
  ejaculated right into the veggie bin." Ah
  the memories. We called her Georgina.
http://www.jackinworld.com/qow/qc.html


  >> Scary Horrible Long Nails <<
  Earlier in the newsletter we featured the
  nail quiz. We got curious. We got clicking.
  There's a whole freaky sub-culture our there.
  This is our favourite: A video day-out with
  a witch-like woman with two foot nails.
  Nasty. But still gave us the horn. And the
  blob. Got a bit messy but we had fun.
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/growabrain/LongestNailsVid.WMV


  >> Bunny Ate My Computer <<
  This geezer found an abandoned rabbit in a
  car park. Taking pity on the poor wee creature
  he allowed it into his home. These photos show
  the resulting havoc wreaked by the monstrous
  beast. Remember kids: bunnies are dinner not pets.
http://home.iprimus.com.au/cojoco/Naughty_Bunny.html


  >> Sleazy Gigolo <<
  Ladies: Stuck for bloke? Why not rent one?
  This guy rocks. Oh fuck it. We can't keep
  the pretence up. He's clearly a bit tragic
  and we're only sticking him in because he
  looks ridiculous. But somehow that's the
  secret magic of the Internet: You can laugh
  at people without them hitting you. Yay.
http://www.gigolojess.com/bio.htm


  >> Abandoned Car Art <<
  What would you do if you saw an abandoned
  car in the street? Would you paint it white?
  Would you stencil stuff on it? Probably not,
  but that's what arty types do. And thank
  fuck for that. For they are the dreamers
  of dreams. And painters of cars.
http://www.gyford.com/phil/photos/2003/05/11/


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Real World Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted real world photoshops:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/realworld/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'PeterSeychelles' to
  judge the entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Mr Seychelles writes -

  #1 "Don't shoot I'm cuddly - I love the
     expression of the bear and the sensation of
     movement. Oh, ok then, I'm a sucker for
     teddy bears. (mbreo)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1173841

  #2 "Condensasadendrum - We've all drawn in the
     condensation on the window. Not like this we
     haven't. Ace! (Houston Knights)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1205942

  #3 "Spiders! - Eek, this scared the life out of
     me so it had to be placed. I think the Brown
     Vision works wonderfully." (senselessleon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1188645

   Oh, and a cheeky mention for marsimpsk's lousy
   t-shirt effort. Perhaps a late entry for this
   year's gurning championships?
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1206457


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor Chthonic gave us
  the suggestion, "X-Ray Vision"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/xray/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * BIRMINGHAM SONG ON RADIO 1 - yay! Rob Manuel's
    B-B-B-B-B-Birmingham song was played on
    Thursday. Cool but - Radio 1 staff - if
    you're reading and you do this again can you
    please tell us first so we can listen? We
    we could even give you a high quality version
    to play.
http://www2.b3ta.com/birmingham/


  * WIFEODYSSEY BLOKE IS REAL - remember last
    week we didn't know if the chap looking
    for a wife was a put on? We think he's kosher
    now. Here's a link to him promoting it on
    a newsgroup.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?M4D352C74


  * HELLO FROM MAD GRANNY'S PROGENY - Andrew
    Miller writes, "that batty old biddy you
    featured last week really and truthfully is
    my grandmother!! The recording is from about
    1986. Another special moment was when she rang
    the Coast Guard when we went on a fishing trip.
    And yes, she was indeed a fucking lunatic ...
    bless her soul. Cheers - my dad will be
    well-chuffed that she's been honoured as a
    posthumous comic!"


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * ELECTRIC FUN - our mum told us not to play
    with electricity. She was clearly hiding
    all the fun for herself. Extra Points for
    welts.

  * EXTREME CAKE MAKING - can you make a
    Battenberg in the shape of a Japanese
    schoolgirl sniffing her knickers? We're
    waiting for your email.

  * HI-RISE COCKS - maybe you live in a tower
    block. Can you get your neighbours to turn
    on the lights to display a huge blocky
    penis? We think this might be art. We might
    be wrong, but we do know that it would make
    us snigger.

  Send contributions to b3ta@...

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


-------------------------------------------------

  Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
  Unsubscribe:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS:

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson.
  Links from K3rry, Haddock.org, Stephen I-Migo,
  Mark Keeling, Ciaran, Monkeon, Kim in Atlanta,
  and Laura Lefthand.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Top Tippery by Darren Murphy
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the speccy b4ta twats. (66236)

------------------------------------------------

  TOP TIP: To cure persistent hiccups drink a
  teaspoonful of vinegar. Everybody's got their
  favourite cure for hiccups, but this one
  really works. You can add a bit of sugar to
  make it taste nicer.



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__________________________________________________
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For a better Internet experience
http://www.yahoo.co.uk/btoffer

********************MOWER STAGE TIME***********************************

HELLO!

       Just a quick reminder that MOWER will be supporting BRITISH SEA
POWER
TODAY, THURSDAY 15TH!!!! They'll be on stage at 8.30 so now yer know!!

       Thanks to all who been to the dates so far..it's been so brilliant
meet fans face to face & to win over new people. We'll be updating
www.mower.tv as soon as the JET tour finishes on the 12th June at ULU so
if
any of you have some nice pics from the gigs please attach them to a
reply &
we'll check em out for the Gallery! Thanks.

      Apologies for those of you who tried to buy 'AFTER DARK' from HMV
last
week & came up against blank faces from assistants. They messed up their
order & didn't get them in till Friday..we understand that the 'INDIE'
shops
were well clued up & stocked with it (as usual) but that ain't no good
if
you only have HMV or VIRGIN in your town! Please be persistent with
these
shops as we need them to wake up to MOWER's future releases. They are
primarily concerned with crap Pop, gaming & DVD's these days but we'd
obviously all like more coverage of decent releases in the corporate
hell
that is Music retail!

     Hope to see some of you later!

all the best

MJM

************************************************************************
**

Note: forwarded message attached.

__________________________________________________
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For a better Internet experience
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********************MOWER STAGE TIME***********************************

HELLO!

       Just a quick reminder that MOWER will be supporting BRITISH SEA
POWER
TODAY, THURSDAY 15TH!!!! They'll be on stage at 8.30 so now yer know!!

       Thanks to all who been to the dates so far..it's been so brilliant
meet fans face to face & to win over new people. We'll be updating
www.mower.tv as soon as the JET tour finishes on the 12th June at ULU so
if
any of you have some nice pics from the gigs please attach them to a
reply &
we'll check em out for the Gallery! Thanks.

      Apologies for those of you who tried to buy 'AFTER DARK' from HMV
last
week & came up against blank faces from assistants. They messed up their
order & didn't get them in till Friday..we understand that the 'INDIE'
shops
were well clued up & stocked with it (as usual) but that ain't no good
if
you only have HMV or VIRGIN in your town! Please be persistent with
these
shops as we need them to wake up to MOWER's future releases. They are
primarily concerned with crap Pop, gaming & DVD's these days but we'd
obviously all like more coverage of decent releases in the corporate
hell
that is Music retail!

     Hope to see some of you later!

all the best

MJM

************************************************************************
**

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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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to disclose your email address to the group.

To reply: 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mp3world2/post?act=reply&messageNum=3789
------------------------------------------------------------------------

The MP3 & Audio Sites Directory on Kweevak.com has
been updated for this month's edition. The audio links
directory has been revamped and now includes several
sections of great mp3 and audio links.

To find the current pass codes to our MP3 sections
visit:

http://www.kweevak.com

and follow the links to the "MP3" sections and "MP3
Directory: Passcode Link" --- our MP3 sections contain
the newest mp3 & audio links that we have found.

Please help us by suggesting great mp3 and audio sites
to list on this site.

Thanks.
KT

__________________________________
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The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.
http://search.yahoo.com


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mp3world2-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com



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IN THE NEWS:

The Smell Of Our Own
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/viewPressRelease.cfm?pressReleaseID=463

A Miracle
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/viewPressRelease.cfm?pressReleaseID=462

NEW RELEASES FROM :

"Shake It" by Marascia
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#292

"At The End" by IIO
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#291

"The Decline Of British Sea Power" by British Sea Power
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#290

"A Miracle" by Hidden Cameras
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#289

"Echobox" by David Poe
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#288

"Crashpad Number" by Marc Carroll
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#287

"Free Me" by Emma
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#281

"Peanuts" by Helene
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#286

"Another Day/She Left" by Ninkasi
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#285

"U Got It All" by Applicators
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#280

"Don't Waste Your Time" by The Vessels
http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/releases.cfm#278

ARTISTS & BIOGS - NEW OR UPDATED BIOGS:

Hidden Cameras - http://www.angloplugging.co.uk/artist.cfm?artistID=362



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    Other questions should be directed to: thelist@...

         You can filter this list on [ANGLO] in the subject line

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This Week:
* VIDEO - Ouch. Hurty fire
* QUIZ - Coke or Cleaner
* VIDEO - Birmingham Baywatch

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |     
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're sewing the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|      web... for spiders"

B3ta email 87 - 09 May 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue87/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
 
-------------------------------------------------

: SETTING PEOPLE ON FIRE
  A b3ta educational film for kids

  Jesus wept. Some of our readers are mental.

  Zyk0tiK writes -
 
  "Well, me and my friends was like, messing
  around with aerosols and we was like, 'funny
  to set you on fire, Steve,' and I was like,
  'Ahha yeah let's do it.' So we did.

  "The socks I am wearing in my 'Flame-Proof
  Clothing' (consisting of old school jumpers
  and socks) melted to my hands and I was in
  hospital for two days with burns.

  "I had just one skin graft on my palm where
  the molten sock had gone to bone. It was
  painful but it was fun."
http://members.lycos.co.uk/Zyk0tiK/fire.wmv


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Cocaine, Freaks, Caption Competition

  >> Coke or Cleaner <<
  "Inspired by the recent Pot or Not quiz,"
  writes Matt52, "I pulled together a similar
  sort of thing, largely educational in intent,
  in the interests of preventing people from
  inadvertently ingesting kitchen cleaner during
  a night out on the town."
http://www.100free.com/c/cokeorcleaner/


  >> Stupid Gaydar Profiles <<
  "I'm a regular user of dating site Gaydar,"
  writes Slutbarbie, "Some of the users are
  utter freaks. I've collected the profiles
  of my favourites." Warning: this stuff isn't
  exactly safe for work. Or home for that matter.
http://www.mrbdamien.co.uk/aneuraljudges.html


  >> Singapore Caption Competition <<
  "I publish a comedy magazine in Singapore,"
  writes Carl, "Our front cover is a caption
  competition and wanted to ask if your readers
  could come up with something amusing." We
  wouldn't normally run with this, but how often
  do you get the chance to be on a magazine
  cover in Singapore?
http://www.bantermag.com/capcom.htm

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Stupid 999 Callers <<
  Bless the Avon and Somerset police. They've stuck
  up recordings of some of the silliest 999 calls
  they've received. This is our favourite. A dotty
  old lady who's lost her glasses. Poor love
  - she's clearly a fucking lunatic.
http://www.avonandsomerset.police.uk/communications/flash/sound_number
_2.swf


  >> Birmingham Baywatch <<
  After last week's "Birmingham, it's not shit"
  campaign, the Brummie links have been flooding
  in. This is the funniest of the lot. It's a
  remake of Baywatch in centre of Birmingham.
http://66.70.181.237/sf/files/baywatch.wmv


  >> Find Me A Wife <<
  This bloke has been let down by dating
  agencies and personal ads, so has decided to
  appeal for a special lady with a web page. It's
  a tried-and-tested formula for a site and the
  appeal is largely in trying to tell if it's
  real or not. One of the joys of this version
  is the guy's slowly unfolding weirdness.
http://www.wifeodyssey.com


  >> Stupid eBay Feedback <<
  Ho hum. This guy got a little bored using eBay
  and is playing a game of leaving random,
  inappropriate feedback to purchases he didn't
  even make. Worth a quick look for the inventive
  phrasing. All together now, "The Lord only granted
  me one child, and she died. Anyway, you were
  great. A+A+"
http://makeashorterlink.com/?W68113164


  >> Mewing Americans <<
  Auditions were held across the US for a
  catfood commercial. Their cat-based jingle
  is one of the most fantastically irritating
  ever made. This lady is giving it all she's
  got, making her look like an utter simpleton.
http://www.meowmix.com/images/video/MeowAlbuquerque030301.asx


  >> Babies Vs. Adults <<
  A nice online gallery, showing pictures of
  children and the adults they became. Quite
  sweet really. This geeky chap is our favourite.
http://www.wheniwaslittle.net/index.php?limit=6&id=118&search=1


  >> Ridiculous Website Concept <<
  It must be quite dull being a web designer,
  having to build sites to sell crap stuff
  all day. So we salute this fellow who, in
  his boredom, has crafted one of the most
  preposterous front pages ever to grace a
  site about pie packaging.
http://www.nichollfoodpackaging.co.uk/


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Curry and Cheese Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted films and songs with
  curry or cheese badly shoehorned into them:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/curryorcheese/

  We asked b3ta boarder 'Baz' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves:

  Baz writes -

  #1 "Balti Towers - toilet humour is always
  funny, and this entry carries on that proud
  British tradition. Fantastic! (Dr. Dunno)
http://b3ta.com/board/1134325

  #2 "Driving Miss Jalfreze - A wonderfully
  contrived title with a great tag-line. Icky.
  (jumpy22)
http://b3ta.com/board/1135588

  #3 "The Two Towers - A brilliant, literal
  entry, symbolising the pain of the artist
  forced to conform to an imposed agenda."
  (Harry)
http://b3ta.com/board/1138210


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, b3ta boarder Sargant came up with
  the suggestion, "Take photos of Real World
  Photoshops." Why not cut off someone's head
  and swap it with a neighbour's?
http://b3ta.com/challenge/realworld/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * BIRMINGHAM CAMPAIGN SUCCESS -  "I was
    interviewed by the Sunday Mercury newspaper",
    writes Jon Bounds, "and the song got played
    on BRMB radio." Yay. We're saving Birmingham
    together.
http://www.jonbounds.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/jon/brum/brum.html


  * PHONEBOX WEBCAM - last week we featured a
    phonebox with a webcam trained on it. BT has
    now barred it from taking incoming calls. Woo.
    A fair number of websites we've linked to have
    been taken down by the amount of traffic but
    never a phonebox before.
http://www.freshlegs.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fame


  * WEB GRAFFITI WALL - Last week we featured a
    site where you could draw a picture and
    submit it to a massive, random gallery.
    Loads and loads of people have drawn
    things, so much so that they are running
    out of pixels. See it in all its glory:
http://www.blograffiti.com/


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * PEOPLE THINGS UP - and getting in
    the papers. That would be cool.

  * TESTING IMPOSSIBLE THEORIES - the UK
    Arts Council recently gave some monkeys a
    typewriter (and a grant) to see if they'd
    write Shakespeare. Can you see if cats
    really have nine lives?
 
  * BOMBS MADE OF TRIFLE - why not blow up
    some jelly, custard and sponge? Don't
    forget the cream. It's asking for it.
    The slag.

  Send contributions to b3ta@...

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


-------------------------------------------------

  Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
  Unsubscribe:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS:

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Rob Hodges, Elliott Solomon,
  Vrlaura, Ade, Electroretro, Dis & Wilesy.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Top Tippery by Dean Perry
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the lezzy b4ta licks. (65699)

-------------------------------------------------

  HANDY TIP: When you paint a room, cut an onion
  in half and leave in opposite corners of the
  room. The room won't smell of onion though
  - the onions just suck all the painty smell out
  of the air in about 24-48 hours.



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hi movement 2.. just wondering what exactly movement 2
is in aid of?

peace, AIH

=====
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

architecture in helsinki
www.aih.rocks.it

[apologies for the above corporate slogan.
i mean, the below corporate slogan.]

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----------
Sean McManus' newsletter
May 2003
----------

Thank you for being on the mailing list for my website at
www.sean.co.uk. Lots of updates to tell you about this month,
including the launch of a new site for people interested in
journalism and a new section devoted to website designers.

Thank you to those of you who have been supporting the site by
recommending it to friends, linking to it or using the Amazon
affiliate links to do your shopping from which I get a commission
(see www.sean.co.uk/shop/searchamazon.shtm). I've posted some ideas
for how you can help support the site without spending any money at
www.sean.co.uk/help/support.shtm.


----------
News
----------

JournalismCareers.com launches

Since my website at www.sean.co.uk launched, I've had lots of
questions from readers about what it's like working as a journalist
and how best to get into writing professionally. To answer them in
more detail and more consistently, I've now created
www.JournalismCareers.com.

The site includes:
* interviews with TV and radio journalists about what they do and how
to follow in their footsteps
* interview with the editor of the Guardian style guide
* a downloadable guide to proofreading symbols
* writing and sub-editing exercises to download and try
* a guide to filtering press release hype
* extensive links
* breaking journalism news

...and my new ebook 'Journalism Careers - Your questions answered'.
The 106-page, printable ebook costs just Ł9.95 (US$13.95) and is
backed by a 14-day money-back guarantee. It answers 64 questions and
for a limited time is backed by the guarantee that if your question
isn't there, I'll answer it by email (see site for details). You can
also get feedback on any of the journalism exercises on the site if
you invest in your own copy of the ebook.

As a thankyou for supporting my website, I'm offering members of this
mailing list a 30% discount. To claim your discount, enter the code
SEAN-UC3Y when asked for an offer code.

If you've got any feedback on the new site, please drop me a line to
tell me!



New webdesign resources section launches

At www.sean.co.uk, I've launched a new section packed with resources
for website designers at: http://www.sean.co.uk/a/webdesign/index.shtm

It includes:
* interviews with Jakob Nielsen and Bryan Eisenberg about writing for
the web
* website maintenance tools (link checkers, syntax checkers,
availability checkers and so on)
* free ransom note font, as seen in the first version of my site
* 3D text maker and 3D website design guide (panoramic photo now
optimised)
* Castle Fictoria web design exercise: You worry about the design and
we'll supply the content
* Guide to creating an icon for your site to go in the address bar
and favourites list in Internet Explorer
* Guide to creating a portal for your website
* Website and flash templates shop
* Webmaster links page

If you'd like to exchange links and be on my new webmaster links
page, please email me.



New Inspiral Carpets album tracklisting

The Inspiral Carpets have re-formed to give their greatest hits a
good send-off. The album is released 15 May but you can preview the
tracklisting of the double CD and DVD pack in the Inspiral Carpets
section of my site now:
http://www.sean.co.uk/a/musicjournalism/ic/inspiralcarpetscoolas.shtm



Wild Mood Swings in the press

My fun new site Wild Mood Swings was site of the day in UK national
newspaper the Daily Mirror and had a quarter page of coverage in Web
User magazine. You tell the site how you feel and it whisks you away
to a site to fit your mood. Visit the site now at:
http://www.wildmoodswings.co.uk



Order books with UK postage FREE

You can now order my book 'Small Business Websites That Work' and my
co-written books 'The Customer Service Pocketbook' and 'Quick Answers
to Web Marketing Questions' directly from me and get UK postage FREE.
You can order by post, or online using Paypal. Visit the new look
shop for more information and for free chapters from all the books:
http://www.sean.co.uk/shop/index.shtm



----------
Spread the word
----------

Know anyone else who might like this newsletter? Please do forward it
to them.

Like what you see? Please consider linking to my sites or supporting
them (see www.sean.co.uk/help/support.shtm).

If you've received this newsletter from a friend, you can sign up to
receive it yourself for free at:
www.sean.co.uk/a/list.shtm

or just send a blank message to:
seanmcmanus-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If you have any problems signing up, please email me at
feedback@.... I can't read anything you send to
the signup address above.



----------
Contact me
----------

I'd be pleased to hear from you if you have feedback on this
newsletter or the website or if anything here doesn't seem to make
sense. Please email me at feedback@....

Thanks for your support!

Sean McManus
www.sean.co.uk



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------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just heard a pre release copy (no sleeve!) and it's a great showcase
album (4 vocal tracks with dubs) which should please all UK roots/dub
fans, not to mention clarke's fans of course!  RASTA INTERNATIONAL is
the title - and just grab it if you see it - more of the same please
shaka...

Manwel



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Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the movement2
group.

   File        : /-PlatinumPlus.org-
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online!!!

You can access this file at the URL

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To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit

http://help.yahoo.com/help/uk/groups/files

Regards,

ppplild <platinumlplus@...>

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This Week:
* VIDEO - Ouch hurty stuff
* ANIM - Hippo Girl
* PARTY - Come and see

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |       "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       pennies for whores"

B3ta email 84 - 11 Apr 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue84/

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: THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO
  No. Really. Never.

  We're almost lost for words. This home video is
  extreme, violent and hilarious. And uses objects
  you can find in your own home.

  André Fairweather writes -

  "Me and some mates got drunk. Then we did some
  bad stuff to each other. I am the one called
  beast."

  What is it? It's pissed up blokes beating each
  other up for fun. Ace.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V18C51C24 (WMV file)


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA PARTY
  The Final Plug

  It's the party tonight. Come. Oh, and it's above
  a Lebanese Restaurant called Tarboush.

  Mmmm Lebanese. So there will be some lamb balls
  downstairs if you get hungry.
http://www.b3ta.com/party/easter.gif


-------------------------------------------------

: HIPPO GIRL
  I love you

  Joel Veitch writes -

  "I've written a song for the special lady
  in my life.

  "I'm not very attractive so I take what I can
  get. Even hippos. You like?"

  Yes we do. It's a great song Joel. It makes
  us laugh. And wank furiously.
http://www.rathergood.com/hippo/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Kittens, Bush & Drugs

  >> Awww. Sleepy Kittens <<
  "Aren't cats cute?", writes Rob Manuel,
  "Especially little, sleepy ones. I've made
  a slide show of my favourites and written
  a song on why they are so useless at getting
  stuff done."
http://b3ta.com/sleepy-kittens/


  >> Bush Speech Writer <<
  Matthew Woodman's Flash toy does what it says
  on the tin: You can arrange phrases to make
  George W Bush say whatever you want. The idea
  has been done before, but this is a really nice
  execution of it.
http://www.actofme.co.uk/bush_speech/bushspeechwriter.html


  >> Pot Or Not <<
  In the great tradition of b3ta either/or
  quizzes, Nathaniel Levan has made a quiz
  to test your drug identification skills:
  can you tell a marijuana leaf from a spider
  plant?
http://www.howardandpeanut.com/potornot/


-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO II
  Sticking fireworks to bikes

  "BMX + Rockets = Mucho fun" writes Gavin Ashton.
  And he's not wrong. Not sure if it makes you
  go any faster but it does look fucking cool.
http://g.f.ashton.users.btopenworld.com/rocketbmx.wmv


-------------------------------------------------

: MORE STUFF B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING
  Arse, Weebl & Floppy

  >> Floppy Disk Spaceships <<
  Remember floppy disks? They were the square
  plastic things that fitted into that mysteriously
  useless slot on your computer. TheTruffleShuffle
  has found a use for them: making scale models
  of famous spacecraft.
http://sdcc15.ucsd.edu/~mrossmas/recycle.html


  >> Drunken Student Arses <<
  Bumheading is the new craze sweeping the
  nation's student halls. But that's no reason to
  hate it. It involves getting your mates drunk
  and sticking your bottom in their faces whilst
  they sleep. This is in no way homosexual. Thanks
  Jyhnln.
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/jyhnln/Bumheads.html


  >> Weebl Goes Shopping <<
  The latest episode of Weebl & Bob has a nice
  tune towards the end. Its creator Jonti
  Picking has been walking about B3ta HQ singing
  it for about 3 days. We haven't killed him. Yet.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/trim.htm


-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO III
  DIY tattoos

  Ecclesia got herself tattooed without all the
  inconvenience of going to a tattooist, or using
  proper equipment. She writes, "The guy used a
  chopped-up Walkman, 9 volt battery, and a
  clicky-pen. It tickled." It looks shit, but
  we admire her stupidity.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1017769


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld <<
  The US Secretary of Defence, most famous for
  wanting to kick Saddam's butt out of Iraq, is
  also an accomplished poet. His work deals
  sensitively with existential dilemmas. Well,
  perhaps not, but web magazine The Slate has
  produced these surprisingly convincing
  excerpts from his press statements.
http://slate.msn.com/id/2081042


  >> Make Your Own Dancing Freak <<
  Choose from a list of creatures, then change
  the settings to move bits around and animate
  them. With a little effort you could make it
  do pretty much anything. We just used the
  randomise button and laughed at the parade of
  misshapen cavorting abominations. Cool.
http://www.lecielestbleu.com/media/puppettoolframe.htm


  >> Geeks. Look. Something for you. <<
  Influenced by Apple's recent 'Switch' campaign,
  check out this animated parody ad for the
  Linux operating system (much beloved by the...
  more technically-inclined). Funny. Has goats.
http://www.ubergeek.tv/switchlinux/


  >> Death Star Pong <<
  Pleasing variation on the arcade classic
  pong. Bloody big bat and tiny targets
  makes for an entertaining five minute challenge.
  Didn't make us want to wank. At first.
http://rain.prohosting.com/4guitars/arcade/pongling.htm


  >> Tinned Meat Museum <<
  Meat. What is it? Where does it come from?
  From tins of course. Fucking 100s of them.
  Here are some of the best. Collected by a lady.
http://www.pottedmeatmuseum.com/.


-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IV
  Spit alcohol on open flames

  Ever wondered what would happen if you spat
  a mouthful of absinthe over a burning book?
  D the Elder quite obviously has. With
  only the aid of some cheap moonshine liquor
  and the protection that God gives fools,
  he chanced his eyebrows against gigantic
  sheets of burning flame.
http://www.brainwrong.com/dc1a/ulthm2.htm


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Modern Fairytale Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted modern fairytales:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/fairytales/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Sue Denham' to judge the
  entries - here are her 3 faves.

  Sue writes -

  #1 "Ingmar Bergman's Cinderella - wonderful
  idea, great subtitles. I love this to bits.
  (hairy canary)
http://b3ta.com/board/1018658

  #2 "Sleeping Beauty - so subtle you'd miss it
  the first time, this amused me greatly.
  (Who Else)
http://b3ta.com/board/1010203

  #3 "The boy who cried... - mime jokes are
  always good, and this one has just the
  right level of vindictiveness." (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/1018839


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor Monkeon gave us
  the suggestion, "Tabloid Photostories"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/tabloidphotostories/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * SHIPPING NEWS TUNE - Braces Tower writes
    "my Shipping Forecast tune has made it into
    the Radio 4 Presentation Office. Apparently
    the presenters featured on it are really
    chuffed. So am I."
http://makeashorterlink.com/?J25015C24


  * MAN MILK OR MOO MILK - stunningly popular
    in Japan. We don't know why. But they loved
    it.
http://www.b3ta.com/man-milk-or-moo-milk/


  * RATHERGOOD NOMINATED FOR WEBBY AWARD -
    Joel Veitch is vaguely concerned
    that he's been placed in the 'weird'
    section.
http://www.webbyawards.com/main/webby_awards/nominees.html


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * MORE VIOLENCE - we have a taste for blood
    now. What about branding yourself with a
    heated coat hanger? You could make a nice
    kitten shape on your forehead.

  * NERD KNITTING - why not make a Dr Who
    scarf? Space invader stockings? Or even
    a Pong hat?

  * HARDWARE HACKS - can you make your iPod
    play Galaxian? Or upgrade your kitten
    with gills?

  Send contributions to b3ta@...

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


-------------------------------------------------

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-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS:

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Zog, Tom Gregory & Fiona.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the seven b4ta dwarfs. (62699)

-------------------------------------------------

  Cooking tip: If you are preparing a stew or
  soup and have made the dish too salty, simply
  throw in a raw potato. The potato will draw
  the salt out and salvage that all-important
  dinner party.



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