by: Return of the hairy pie<br> <br>In a
specially extended interview with Dot Cotton, Stenders doc
doctor legg reveals his passion for all things elland
road. <br><br>Dot: So you like - hurrggh hurrgh cough
cough splutter - Leeds then deary? <br><br>Legg: Yo
bitch, like I was rectally examinig dis big black momma
in da surchurry likes when on pops da box and blow
me innit David Batty. Dim dam dum cool cat dat Batty
boy. <br><br>Dot: How many players did you have last
night? <br><br>Legg: Chill bitch! Me know dat me no
stick up da marmite soldier! <br><br>Dot: Have you
performed an edoscopy? <br><br>Legg: Like free love and all
dat and sixties and like da peacock was massive, like
my cock is massive innit, cos my name like not odd
cuz it like my third legg. <br><br>Dot: What's the
best remedy for piles? <br><br>Legg: Patrick Berger.
Bingo. He's da bomb! <br><br>Dot: Have you ever been to
a football match? <br><br>Legg: Hey man dat Mark
Fowler ga'me the batty boy disease and I wuz jumpin like
a mofo and mudda if no I wunna jumpin like a bean!
<br><br>Dot: What's your prediction for Leeds this season?
<br><br>Legg: Bitch, sut yo tit mouth mudda fucka and do me
funcking laundry. Cho, you ain't no nigga bitch.
Interview taken from official Liverpool site.
<br><br><br><br>So you like Liverpool? <br><br>Yeah! They're the
team I always look out for when I'm at home. Back in
1988 I was in London on a promotional tour with NWA,
and one night we were watchinbg TV and these cool
cats in red came on the box. They whupped some poor
dudes four or five zip. <br><br>Do you remember any of
the players from last night? <br><br>John Barnes. He
was bad. Kinda reminded me of Magic Johnson. I'm from
LA and dig the Lakers, especially when Magic was
there, and Barnes was like him, in that he made the ball
talk. The cat was cool. <br><br>Did you ever hear him
rap? <br><br>No, but if he rapped like he played, I
might have signed him up... <br><br>Do you know any of
the current team? <br><br>Michael Owen is your most
famous player in the States. Robbie Fowler and Jamie
Redknapp are old school, so I've seen them play quite a
few times. And there's the guy with the long hair.
Help me out here... <br><br>Patrik Berger...
<br><br>Bingo! He's the bomb! <br><br>Who's your favourite
player? <br><br>Michael owen. Whoa! <br><br>What did you
make of Liverpool's success last season? <br><br>I
read about it when they won the Cup last May. My man
Owen again, and then he was in a crazy game for
England with volleyball scores against Germany.
Liverpool's success is down to their manager. He's got
everything running as smooth as the alphabet. <br><br>What's
the football coverage like in America? <br><br>We
have a review of English soccer every Monday on
television, which I tune into if I can. America isn't a
soccer nation, we tend to stick to our own sports like
gridiron and baseball. <br><br>And what's your prediction
for Liverpool this season? <br><br>They'll come ahead
of Manchester United. That right there is the whole
game
Duracell quip<br>Oh, this is an old favourite of
mine. The albino-esque appearance of your 'ginger
naturel' is down to the fact that they were all born of
God, who is ginger.<br><br>And that northern beer
rubbish - at least our bears have a creamy head, unlike
your southern pisspoor attempts at bitter.
Thought for the day.<br><br>Oi Duracell!<br>When
you get a real, carrot top with pale skin & freckles,
how do they get to achieve that almost translucent
appearence?<br><br>Oi Northerners!<br>If Yorkshire beer is so great,
why do John Smiths, Tetley, Sam Smith & Stones all
taste so vile?
Paul Scholes - drops his little grenades, scored
that hat trick didn't he? Bit out of position now -
Keane on the bench - isn't it?<br><br>Jon Bon Jovi -
the soft man of hard rock - easy lover? NOt much. Had
his share. <br><br>Oh there's more.<br><br>Any takers
for thought of the day?
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