Now I know why GW needs FAQs, their abhuman secretary happens to have a similar name to thier editor, so due to a clerical error(which in GW's mind is somthing which cannot be repaired) this secretary get's all of the products for final review. However, his secretary's keyboard has two buttons Delete, and Send to the World. The CEO then storms down the hall to the real editor's office and tells him that if he weren't his cousin he would be on the street, and the FAQ is produced.

Similarly I was copy pasting a section, editing two, and still not done. So Hopefully you didn't read my orgional message first, or if you did, skip down to the part where I mention the Commissar.

Yeah, on a similar note, while I spent too much on a toy drive to finish my 40k shopping on my most recent trip, I did order the first non-Catachan addition to my army, turns out they don't give the Jungle fighters Plasma guns, apart from the one in the new Command Squad set. So I had to settle for Cadians which, since they'll be in my command squad, might be converatble to Praetorians wearing armor. Not usual, I know, but if the mission was super intense, or I were to convert Creed into some cousin of the Praetorian Crown who disite being the 7th or 70th in line is still fairly high up in the PTC, then it might make sense that all dignity asside he and his entourage have the best armor an weapons money can buy. Besides, if I paint it to look like really nice 'pace instead of Flak Armor, it might be acceptable if it were like a very nice gift from a highly ranked/ respected person, or somthing like that.


Fluff wise, the heavily battered Beinirham Expeditionary Force, which has by now already become the 42nd Company is in such dire straights that the highest ranking Praetorian Guardsmen left, are NCOs. While normally within the Praetorian Guard, if it is anything like my inerpritation of the Colonial era British Army or the American 'Buffalo' Units, one of these NCOs would be granted an Emergency Field Commission in the XCO's dying gasp, or by some clause in the Praetorian Guard Manual, it is assumed that at this point, there are so few remaining Praetorian Guardsmen that it would be absolutly impossible to prevent one of the Catachan Lietenants from being promoted to Captian 'Catachan Style.'  Of course, while the Praetorians have control of a significant portion of the Catachan and Orgyn miner's salaries and other aspects, attempting to use that as a bargining chip would just create a loosing fire fight or the Catachans walking off and start their own colony. In addition to the Miners who double as the militia and the last line of defense, there is also a Catachan IG unit donated by the Imperium to protect its limited intrest in the valuable minerals (lots of lithium, alleged rare uranium deposits, a small amount of aluminum, and of course a little gold too) present on Beinirhem.  If Beinirham wasn't a Jungley deathworld crawling with Orks, the tiny IG force with the militia included would still be slightly outmatched by the superior heavy weapons arsenal of the PTC and Praetorian Impirial Guard Colonial Defence Force (PIGCDF). But then why would the Praetoreans use Catachans otherwise?

However, I'd like to think that for a Catachan, Belisarius, the new Captain is a smart guy. Which, his ability to convince the the even less 'civilised' enlisted men and even the Bone 'ead miners to not murder the Commisar or any of the Praetorians already suggests. That and his superior rank, almost make up for him not being Praetorian, except for the whole PIGCDF Manual/ Senior Officer's final order thing. However, thanks to their slightly more fancey Red uniforms, and tendencey to be shouting orders while leading the charge and flashing a 'toy' sword around (since these are after all over-glorified line grunts, not experienced Company Commanders) it is assumed that even the Orks could figure out who the 'umie Waaagh Boss is, and which one to direct their fire at. Which, since this would eventually eliminate all of the Praetorean Officers and all the way down through the Sgt. Major, is why the line grunts are forced to try to take charge (pun intended) in the first place. I'm sure a Praetorean would much rather follow the less experienced leadership of the same guy that on planet fall was an overly enthusiastic snot nosed private who would sooner try to wave his Primir in the face of a war boss while promising the Emperor's immediate wrath, than remotely consider staining his uniform by using his bayonet. The Catachan Captain on the other hand, has probably only been in his dress uniform 5 times max, including when he tried it on, and while he would much rather take on the war boss with no weapons, would just as gladly stick his plasma pistol to the warboss's face and drench himself with blood and spores. Also, he controls the jungle fighters and the miners, who due to natural selection could beat any hive world conscript unit to pieces.

Of course when there are mixed/ transfered units which would just as soon fight their new comrads than the Orks and other enemies, the Imperium is sure to include a(n additional) Commissar in the package. The commissar in the Beinirham 42nd Company is remarkably still alive. This is largley for two reasons: first, because in addition to his extensive training in jungle warfare to become a Commissar, he is VERY talented with his disciplanary switch as some necrons and orks found out the hard way, and second, the Catachan officers have convinced the enlisted men that he is the only reason the PTC still pays them, which causes them to watch his back out of protection rather than to find the best opertunity to shove a live krak grenade in his great coat.) So, the Praetorians do still have a shot at getting their NCO to become the new Compant Comander, or to even get the Commissar to become one of those Commissar-Colonels, which ultimately they would like better than a Catachan XCO (I can't remember the Abreviation for eXecutive Commissioned/ Commanding Officer, but that's what I mean) . After all, considering Praetorian essentially means 'Protector of the Emperor' if they can't get a Praetorean XCO, the next best thing would be a Tallaren Commissar-Colonel, which is a combination of the only two guard forces (counting the Commisart) with compareable devotion to 'Emperor bothering' to that of the Praetorian Guard. However, while that is the only option until at least a Battalion strength Regiment of Praetorean reinforcements arive, it won't be as easy as saying, "I'm Praetorian and he's not, Sir." that ussually won't work with a Commissar of the Imperium's IG. Also, whether the PTC likes it or not, Catachans are still vital to the Imperium winning wars, and equally important to the survival of the Praetoreans remaining on Beinirham. Finally, in the Commisar's eyes, if some IG line Sgt. decides to bash his new XCO, no matter which planet they happen to be from, rather than jumping to he aid of the Sgt, he will either take a mediation role, or nod in approval as the officer teaches the Sgt a little lesson involving the 'chain of command'.

As I mentioned earlier, Belisarius is a smart guy, so practicly he would realise that allowing this kid to take his place would be the equivilent of sabotouge, and therefore almost treason, which means before the Sgt. can take his next breath and continue his above statement, officially, casually, or mumbling to himself he will find a plasma pistol* or the Captain's face within a centimeter of his and unexpectedly a very loud and furious sermon. This of course will bring the Commissar and everyone on base not on duty running, because it isn't every day you hear/ get to witness a Catachan (in Deathworld the Catachans are protrayed as the most secular redneck natualists in the Imperium) is giving a 'beg the Emperorr for forgivness as your life is about to end and only he can save you' type sermon to a Praetorian. (The #1 'Emperor Bothering' group, apart from the Church of the Emperor and his super human children.)

This would likley start with Belisarius cussing him out and smacking him around a bit, maybey even dragging him in the direction of the Commissar's office or the Cemetary (depending what degree of offence to Catachans/ Belisarius the Sgt. caused) until his audience began to show up. Then he would begin questioning the logic of having an Empire within an Empire if it is guarnuteed to cause some confusion about which Emperor and which IG its soldiers were loyal to and lead to en mass counts of Heresy. (He wouldn't share this, as it would cause Beinirham to Cease to Exist, but Belisarius shared a kill team experience with an Inquisitor Lord specialised in retaking traitorous planets. Belisaius almost single handedly recaptured a Lemen Russ that would have ripped apart the 'rust bucket' varient Chimera the Squad found. (A terminator Captian kept the traitor HW batteries head's down, and another guardmen who very quickley became lascannon fodder) Needless to say the Inquisitor Lord and then Lt. Belisarius put each other on speed dial after that.) After waiting for the Praetorian to start pleading for mercy/ try to make an argument, Belisarius would ask the Sgt if given a choice would he Serve the God-Emperor or Praetoria. If the answer is not almost instantaneously the God Emperor, the Sgt will lose his head in about as long as it takes to squeese the trigger an yell "Heritic" and the local PTC Officer/ Purser would suddenly be directing a lot more funds into 'labor force salaries' in fear of his life. Should the Sgt. still have his head, then the he would have proven himself to be a true servent of the God-Emperor, not just a 'clown trying to fight Orks in a Jungle by making them laugh to death with their red suits and funny hats' (which I by the way find very stylish, but Belisarius would also find just rediculous, altough he wouldn't say so) and thus it is assumed that the Sgt recognises or will be quickley made to confess that he is IG. The Captian will then state that regardless of the status of the PIG in terms of control over the PTC Colony of Beinirham, the PIG is still IG, and requested assistance from the IG. Also in the IG it goes from Lieutenant to Captian, not Sgt. to Capt. for a good reason. But more importantly is the fact that it is the God-Emperor's most righteous will for it to be that way, and questioning it is Blasphamy. Thus any Sgt. under oath to serve the God-Emperor who would organise an attempt to undermine His will is a Traitor, and anyone who knew about it and had not already informed his superior or in the case of the superior he had not informed the Commissar, they would also be charged as conspirators to mutiny. This conversation would end shortly:
"Have I made myself perfectly clear Seargent?!"
"Yesir..." (Because anything else would mean instant death)
"Then as tolarence leads to betrayal, you understand what has to be done."
"I do sir." (Undoubtedly the noble Praetorian bit in the Sgt. would be surfacing for its potentially last and finest hour.)
"Then, in my interpritation," Belisarius concludes," you, until recently a Seargent in the Imperial Guard, that Omnipotent Hammer of the Emperor, *Rips off the former Sgt's stripes* are the most miserable excuse for a man unworthy to bear this sacred symbol of authority. You have dressed up in the God-Emperor's Most Holy 'War Paint' to gain favor or mercy in the noble and just eyes of His Commissar. Is it not writen that the rewards for tolerance are trechery and betrayal? Do you really think that a surplus uniform and bits of ribbon and metal can hide your deeds from the all seeing Light of the God-Emperor, or save you from His awesome wrath? Mutiny, is what you and your pale-skinned and white helmeted bretheren have preformed by seizing command through promotin yourselves to Captian by force, and without authority to do so, with the exception of the first of these promotions made by the late Colonel Ignitus. Mutiny doesn't simply violate the Emperor's will, it directly opposes it and is thus Treason. Fortunately for most of you, the strict dicipline policies of the Praetorean Guard have forced you to obey these men who have been taking for themselves what was meant to be given by the God-Emperor. Yet, as effective as that iron fist of Praetoria seems, "The most deviant mind is often concealed in an unblemished body." *Motions to the Sgt's uniform, and with his free and scared hand, pinches the boyish cheek of the Sgt.* "Cute ain't he? Wrong! There is nothing cute about what is hidden beneath this mask and clever costume. To think is a privledge, granted you by the Emperor, but as such is one he can just as easily take away! What ever is Right and Honorable in the Emperor's eyes, whatever is Faithful to his will and power, think only of these things and Nothing else, or you shall suffer the same fate as this poor soul. *Turning back to the traitor* Standing tall will do you no good now, you should have thought of doing that when you were being tempted to even consider this little coup of your's. If you have any regard to your soul or your fellow men, pray that they may find your example and the reward you have earned as motivation to remain loyal to their Emperors and not their own intrest. Rest assured, I will not stoop to your level, and shall not carry out your sentence myself, for you are not worthy to be slain by such a prized weapon as this (at which point he would lower the plasma pistol) and by my hand you would suffer a slow and agonising death which would maryterise you and defeat its purpose. As such, your fate, and the fate of your accomplices will be determined by Commissar Montgomery and his greater insight on the sacred Commandments of the Emperor and the Administration of Justice."

This 'sermon', perhapse being the most Pro-God Emperor statement to have ever come out of a Catachan's mouth, let alone in a lecture to a semi-heritical Praetorean, would be guarunteed to cause almost everyone present except mabey the Commissar to scratch their heads in silence, shocked by thier confusion and the extraoranary situation. The Commissar would very likley be already looking for anything on Belisarius resembling drugs or liquor, partly to confiscate it, and partly to reccommend that the Munitorium mass produce it and add it to the standard rations. Upon finding nothing of the sort/ very little but nothing which could turn a Catachan into a priest, in addition to the absence of any primir which Belisarius was obviously quoting from. Thus not only was this Catachan supporting his rantings with scripture and famous quotes, but he was reciting them from memory. If the Commiassar did not immediatly need his hat to make him look more imporing than he naturally is, it would have been tipped to Belisarius. But while Catachans are usually shorter than average guardsmen, Praetoreans seem like they would be somewhat taller, and this Tallaren somewhere in the middle. This story always ends the same, the main traitor gets stripped of his uniform, it gets recycled, he gets executed by the Commissar, an investigatioon immediatly follows, and due to the Commissar's effectiveness the other accomplices become a penal mining gang, and are replaced by the best soldiers of the miner's militia.

Then some Praetorian Colonel or higher (PTC Trade Baron...) will likley show up with reinforcements in the near future (or mabey even Governor Beinir and his colonisation fleet will escape the clutches of the warp) and undo the practical advantage gained by the Catachans from Belisarius's efforts. But when/ if the Colonel of the Beinirham 1st Colonial Regiment were to become a casualty,  Belisarius would at least be one of the candidates.

*Capt. Belisarius's plasma pistol while rare fluffwise, and especially for a Catachan with any rank below Colonel, thanks to the 5th ed. codex could have very likley been 'comandeered' from some Cadin Sgt who litteraly, and very foolishly, bumped into Belisarius during a mess break during some sort of 'advanced training excercise' or somthing like that his unit was taking part in on Catachan. Apart from his dog tags and rank insignia, which for a Catachan is significantly decorated for a feild uniform, Belisarius wouldn't have been wearing anything standard issue, let alone resembling a traditional Cadin Officer's heavily decorated uniform. (I would assume litteraly heavy for SCO's, and more so on Praetoria.) Belisarius does have one of those metalic skulls implanted in the middle of his forehead for 5 years of service in the Catachan IG, but to a Cadin, that could be some obscure religious symbol. (I don't think I've seen many models that have the dagger for 10 years, and while they definatly are references to spiritual symbols and may be intended to seem like that was their origin, may Catachans prefer to rely on themeselves and rarely prey to the Emperor, so their full meaning may be lost.) The pudding and/or soup on Lt. Belisarius's loaded tray (possibly even seconds considering he is a human tank, an officer, and on his home planet) would have easily distracted the punk Cadin Sgt. from the fact that the man carrying it was twice his size, at least an NCO, considering he would have had a laspistol, and fluff wise/ traditional status wise, only a CO or XCO would have a power Devil's Claw** like Belisarius does. Catachans value their knives more than thier left hands. So you can bet that knife has been in his hand, at his side, or within arm's reach for the past 5 to 10 years. So, ignorant of the planet's customs, and too lazy to take notice of what Belisarius's one medal was, the Cadin Sgt. would have easily mistaken Lt. Belisarius for just some other Catachan 'scum' who's Commissar was somewhere in the general vecinity holding him on a short leash. However, considering Belisarius's memorisation of the Primir, his rank in the IG, status on Catachan, and the opertunity to see if the Cadin's faces change colors, any Commissar who might have been around to stop him would seriously reconsider what might happen should he try to intervene and the possibility that Belisarius would do his job for him. Besides, why risk getting assainated before the sun came up the next day when it would be even more effective and easier to instead: use the authority of the Emperor to order an emergancy supply of popcorn, then sit back and watch  Sgt. from Cadia. Then, mainly to spite Belisarius but also just to see how many colors Cadin's faces have if any,  slap a medal on Belisarius's... belt. So, Belisarius gets a plasma pistol out of the deal, it should keep him out of trouble (like gambling with the astraetes for a bolter) for a while.

(**Devil's Claw: Da' cutta if you are a heritic and want to sell one to an Ork,  Or more likley for a Praetorian, if you are using scare tactics while charging and want the Orks to know/ 'fink' you have a very nice sword-knife, and since it's that knife you better know how to use it. If any cc weapon other than a thunder hammer in an inquisitor's hand, anything in Yarrick's hand, or fitted to a dreadnaught or larger has the potential to cause fear in an ork, Da' Cutta in the hand of someone who can match the Catachans at knife fighting, will make the orks and even some catachan's to consider the weilder a very powerful fighter. However, the likleyhood of a Praetorian having access to a Devil's Claw without picking it off of a commander who's entire regiment was whipped out in a previous wave of Tyranids, let alone having played with knives since before he could walk like the Catachans do out of nessecity, is equal to the probability that GW will through divine intervention decide to scrap the plan to take over the world by buying it, use all of their remaining revenue to create real spacemarines, and secretly anounce their plans/ ask for volunteers from the WH40k players by making the sequil or triquil to Ultramarine a movie about the Emperor getting up of the golden throne when the Imperium is finally pushed back to the Sol system, regains some of the lost technology, and is down to exactly one mixed legion of astraetes surviving from most of the chapters, less than 10 billion guardsmen (Of which you can bet the Cadins, Catachans, and ideally because this is what they were designed for: the Praetoreans, as well as representation from most of the other regiments/ forces of the Imperium) Verses: Everyone else, including the main Tyranid force, all of the Orks United, the Tau Having the Equivilent of Solar Marchias, and so on.  For max potentiasl fans/ recruits. Then being the Emperor, the Imperium force's Commander would end up launching an absolutly successful crusade with its mission being: to personally hack to peices the leaders of all of the other factions in the Galaxy. Of course considering he is supposed to be watching over the galaxy and keeping the warp stable, you can bet he has a nice telly, which despite the size of his palace still seems to big and size wise compared with an IMAX Screen would be like an Imperitor Titan(Two of which probably hold it up) compared to a guardsmen, and considering the existance of stuff like the Eye of Terror, and the fact thet he hasn't used his super powerful mind to will every non-human creature in the galaxy to simply Cease to Exist, you can bet he uses it. The Emperorhas been around since sometime in the 40th millenium if not earlier right? It is almost the 42nd Millenium, and as strong as the Emperor's resolve is, after 2000 years if all of the channels had the same old propaganda about you, or Battle reports, and no matter how many times you call 'the guy' who in this case is named Mankind, and you have super nice, but expensive telly that required the Archaic Ruins of the entire New York skyline to be subject to Exterminus so you could add an extension to your palace just to make it fit, wouldn't you just grab your kids, and a hammer and try to fix it yourself? I mean that is the next best reason if GW doesn't want to make it too obvious that the Emperor is a spinoff of Jesus, although rather than conquering death only managed to achieve a stalemate and pitch the galaxy into eternal war, but has convinced Humanity that in his poker turney vs the Xenos and traitors in which they are the chips, that he is just going to keep bluffing until it looks like everyone else is going to win big, then he's gonna pull five aces and an extra strength suitcase nuke/ deathstrike missile out of his sleeve and dare anyone from stopping him from taking all of their money. But I really don't see GW trying to do that as all of their fans would revolt should they suddenly cease all production with little warning and then tried to conscript them as they stormed the hobby centers for those last additions.)

---

From: kordell828 <krazey@...>
To: praetorian-IG@...
Sent: Sun, December 6, 2009 4:16:20 PM
Subject: [praetorian-IG] Re: Hello