1. Only in Scotland...can a pizza get to your house before an ambulance.

2. Only in Scotland...do supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of
the store to get there prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes
at the front.

3. Only in Scotland...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a diet Irn Bru.

4. Only in Scotland...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.

5. Only in Scotland...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the
drive and keep our junk & lawnmowers in the garage.

6. Three Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.

7. 142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts.

8. 58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knifes as screwdrivers.

9. 31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering Christmas trees while the
fairy lights were on.

10. 19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that all Christmas
decorations were made of chocolate.

11. Scottish hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
pulling accidents.

12. 101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys
pulled out of the soles of there feet.

13. 19 Scots have had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumpers with a
lit cigarette in there mouths.

14. A massive 543 Scots were admitted into A & E in the last two years
after
opening beer bottles with their teeth.

15. 5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
scalextric cars.

16. And finally ........In 2000 80 Scots cracked there skulls while
throwing up into the toilet.



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