"Lessons in life management: Who am I??? I'm Alan Partridge. Another
way to ask the question is "whos is Alan Partridge?" Answer: I am.
Are you Alan Partridge? Nope. Are you Alan Partridge. Nope. Chap
over there that looks like a qypsy, are you Alan Partridge? No.
Clearly not..."

"I can have your fucking legs broken all right?!?!"

"...pulls a big chunk outta your cheek..."