Keith, sorry it's taken so long to reply. Update is this. I've now
finished my CBT and an on 3 month checks. Not at all convinced I have
got as far as I can go and recently I've had a few terrifying
moments.
I can take on board you views on other people looking at this site
for the first time and suddenly realising they are not alone. I cried
like a baby when I realised I had a desease and wasn't mad after all.
For that reason only I will continue to post on this board though not
daily but as and when. Right now I am going through a purple patch
but I must not forget that only 3 weeks ago I was in the depths of
despair. 17 years I have suffered with this without knowing what was
up with me, I sure have a lot of catching up to do.
Please keep in touch mate.
I think I have made a decision to accept what I have, not run from it
and pretend it isn't happening. I believe at the minute that this is
better than never coming on to this board again and denying the
facts. I've got OCD, my cousin has OCD but much more severe and that
is that.
As time goes by and I learn more skills I really think that all I
will be left with is a nagging memory of what I used to think. That's
the aim anyway. Today I think I can do it. Time will tell. Still
keeping of the drugs so it is a little harder for me than it should
be but believe it or not I think I can do it without.
17 years of my life wasted, for what? That is a powerfull sentence in
the defence against OCD. When times are getting tough I say " for
f...ks sake you spent 15 months of your life thinking this in 1987"
or "2 years thinking that around 1995 and where did it get you" or "
Oh yeah, that one again, forget it it'll do you no good" etc. Right
now it is doing the biz.
Do you think there is more we could do to help others? I think I may
be up for it but then again at the minute I'm up for anything.
Take care mate and remember you are not alone.
Keep in touch. Lee