Hi Lee,

Thanks for your reply. I think it's brilliant that you've both made
so much progress; and as for your cousin's job - that's amazing!

I, too, have contamination fears. Although I am worried for myself,
my main worry is passing on germs because I haven't been careful
enough. This causes me to wash and clean for ages to eliminate even
the faintest possibility of a germ escaping! It's especially a
problem in the bathroom. It takes me ages to get 'clean enough' to
go out, so going out is a problem too.

I've been seeing a wonderful psychologist; we examined my past with
a fine tooth comb and have talked a lot about various aspects of the
OCD. The thing she has done most for me is to make me feel better
about myself and to be more positive about my life and my approach
to OCD; to see that I can have a future. We have also done some
exposure work but I feel I have needed a more structured approach to
that as I am so resistant to 'facing my fears'. I'm always going
to 'take a risk' but then at the last minute the "what ifs" start
racing through and I give in to the compulsions. There's a
possibility that I shall be starting a strict behavioural regime in
the next few weeks so I am keeping my fingers crossed for that.

anyway, thanks again for your message and the info
All the best
not waving









--- In theobsessivelycleanden@..., leeesome
<no_reply@y...> wrote:
> Hi not waving, my cousin had absolute classic O.C.D. you know, 12
> showers a day, no one to go in the house, had to have bin bags
moved
> if they were any where in the street, oh she was bad, in fact in
the
> 80's she was actually committed to an institution, that was when
the
> world didn't really know about O.C.D. She know works as a ward
nurse
> cleaning up old peoples sick and putting in their teeth. Can you
> believe that!!!!!!!!
> I was different, the main problems were contamination but of a
> different kind - fatal deseases - but not your average desease -
> stuff like aids, C.J.D. absolute parania over other peoples blood
or
> at it's worse, touching people, door handles even talking to
someone
> who was within a couple of feet or so. I havn't recovered totally
and
> the thought of someone elses blood near me still sends a shiver
down
> my spine, but right now thats all it is.
> My C.B.T. was very structures and very good, it started with 2 -
> 3weeks of learning about how anxiety effects you, fight or flight
> e.t.c. All the time been given small hand outs to keep. Then a
> program was developed where I had to hold the therapists pen and
not
> instantly wash and when I did wash, only 3 times, rather than 6 or
7.
> Home work was to do the same. Then it was eat a sandwich that he
had
> passed to me, then holding bloody beef and wait 5 mins before
> washing, then holding it for 20 mins and so on. At the beginning
we
> did a difficulty pyramid with holding the pen at the bottom and
> eating beef at the top. It was all structured and each test lasted
3
> weeks or so. While doing the test I had to monitor and note my
> anxiety level each minute or so. At the end of each month we would
> look at the graphs and see how the anxiety had dropped as I got
more
> used to the test. The last 4 visits or so involved talking and
> writing down emergency responses for each big issue and along with
> the leaflets I was given I made my anti-relapse folder. I have
used
> it perhaps 4-5 times in the last 9 months or so. It wasn't easy
and
> the last few visits were dis heartening because I didn't think I'd
> gone far enough so I was actually quite depressed when we
finnished,
> but my word, I'd still be going round in the same circles, wasting
my
> life and close to edge if I hadn't have gone.
> Tell me about your program and if you want I'll perhaps scan a few
of
> my leaflets and e-mail them to you.
> All the best pal. Lee.
> --- In
>
theobsessivelycleanden@..., "notwavingbutdrowning2003
> <willow_494@h...>" <willow_494@h...> wrote:
> > Hi Leesome,
> >
> > I am relatively new here - in fact only posted a couple of
times.
> It
> > sounds as if you've done brilliantly with your CBT - well done.
> It's
> > really good that you feel normal life is in your grasp - not
only
> > for you (which obviously is the main thing) but it's also so
> > encouraging to those of us who still have a long way to go.
> >
> > If I may ask, what sort of OCD do you and your cousin suffer
from?
> > Was your CBT really structured? I ask because the therapist I
have
> > been seeing for some time has said we've done some CBT but it
> hasn't
> > been a particularly structured,graded approach and I'm feeling
> > somewhat despondent.
> >
> > Anyway, I'm so pleased for you and your cousin
> > not waving
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In theobsessivelycleanden@..., leeesome
> > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> > > O.K. for those who are newish, I recently, well 2 years or so
ago
> > was
> > > diagnosed but I had suffered severe O.C.D. for around 12 years
or
> > so.
> > > I did a course os C.B.T. and finnished a little early if you
ask
> > me.
> > > Any way the latest is, I am still relatively O.K. I reckon I
have
> > an
> > > O.C.D. triger at least 3 to 4 times each and every day and
each
> > time
> > > I use my C.B.T. and tell my self it's only O.C.D. and it
doesn't
> > > mater and so far so good. Trouble is I'm getting that good at
it
> > that
> > > I am applying it to non O.C.D. things and am becoming so
relaxed
> > > people think I am asleep. It is inherant in my familly and
both
> me
> > > and my cousin have had the worst end of it. We are both now
> > coping, I
> > > used her as a role model as she was unbelievably bad.
> > > I will always be O.C.D. but now I know that and I am armed
> against
> > it
> > > I feel that a normal lide is within my grasp.
> > > SORRY FOR BEING AWAY FOR SO LONG AND GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE.
> > > Lee.