Hello,

I've just joined and would like to say a very warm hello to
everyone. The website is fantastic!

I have a mild case of OCD which is worse when I am tired or more
stressed. I went to the doctor last May when I first realised that
I had a problem because I was terrified of illness and bacteria.
The doctor never gave a diagnosis but said that I should be refered
to a CBT therapist. Since I was soon to move to another area I was
not referred because the waiting list was too long and I could not
afford to pay for private therapy, and so I attended counselling for
around 16 months, changing counsellor when I moved.

Both counsellors I saw told me that I don't have OCD because my
symptoms are not extreme enough and that many of my anxieties have
roots in real past experiences. My partner believes that they just
told me I don't have it because they thought it would help me
feel "normal". This doesn't change the fact that I have symptoms:
- repeated washing (that dries out my skin/makes me sore/sometimes
burns me because the water is so hot),
- distress that germs/dirt/bacteria MIGHT be on me and make me ill,
- complete over-reaction to feeling unwell,
- panic attacks,
- need for continuous reassurance from others that things are ok and
not going to make me ill/do not need washing or re-washing,
- fear of food-poisoning (I get extremely stressed about cooking and
cannot cope with raw meat),
- worrying that germs might be on objects and transferred to
anything they/I have touched
- as a child I developed a twitch and was afraid that fires were
starting in drawers and cupboards when I closed them and I had to
open them to check, then close them, then open them to check etc.

It seems obvious to me and my partner that I have mild OCD, so why
did the counsellors tell me otherwise? I don't think the denial has
helped me. Has anyone else had any similar experiences?

Warmest wishes
Jo