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I had severe OCD for at least 25 years and depression and anxiety
attacks and on and on and even tried suicide! Today I am happy and leading a
relatively free from OCD. I beat it a most unconventional way and wrote a book
about it called Man, Interrupted. It's out in bookstores in UK Australia etc
check out the synopsis at www.amazon.co.uk if you read it give me some feedback
at joebobmichael13@... I hope it will give you some laughter tooo!

Twilight51@... wrote: Hi Nicky,i was thinking about you ,glad to hear
from you i know it's so
hard when you just feel STUCK, ....i must be hard when you are in the
bathroom and someone has to get in there,and you are going through those
rituals with your hair omg Nicky ,i live in an apt i am in my bedroom
for hours just obsessively fixing my hair and when i am going out
somewhere i can't have no interuptions ,i am getting so tired of
spending 4 hours styling .curling my hair and and checking if it's just
right i have to go back keep checking ,....you said something i can sure
relate to about not wanting to really look in mirror's ,if i go shopping
i am worse now i can't look in mirror's there and like you i have a
small mirror carry in my purse if i'm out i look in it try not to see my
hair just check my lipstick and makeup, because if i did i can't fix my
hair anywhere but home , i also can't stay at a friends orvist my sister
that lives in indianapois ,becoz i told her my OCD would interfere ,few
years ago i went to indiana and my B/F and i stayed at his brothers for
a week ,Oh i was a mess i set an alarm woke up at 4 am so no one would
see how long it took me to get done so i never went to stay anywhere
since isn't it torture ,that 's so heartbreaking that you hang towels
over bathroom window before you start your rituals with your hair ,i
have to pull my shade all the way down in my bedroom ,i have tons stuff
on my dresser that i need to complete my rituals, i feel drained and so
tired ,would you believe my hair is shorter on one side but i can't part
with getting longer side cut ,becoz and i usually need things symetrical
too but since the alopecia my hair won't grow like it did,so its
shoulder length it was middle of my back ....Nicky i watch the Tyra
Banks show everyday not sure if you get it where you live .but she
always has alot good shows on i think she did one on ocd i missed some
of it ,....i know how hard it must be for you worrying about your
job,,must be so stressful and frustrating thinking how you would pay
your Rent ,i go for councling and now i am not wanting to go there and i
need to socialize ,but can't stop thinking about my hair and how it
looks......i know what you mean about your family thinking you don't
have a problem ,and not seeing it the way you do ,same with me ,...they
say theirs nothing wrong with your hair, everyone tells me you are more
than your hair they think they understand but they don't ,my boyfriend
tells me only you notice no one elsedoes ,but i feel the pain inside and
know what i have to go through i'm sure you do too, whats easy for one
person isn't always easy for the other ,......Nicky i now wha you mean
about being afraid to tell your boyfriend you cut your hair ,wow you
think like me ,i'm like that with few friends i don't tell becoz than i
think they will focus on i ,i made the mistake telling a neighber friend
now i think when i leave my apt shes always watching me ,and i wish i
never had told her ,but i was so depressed at the time i needed someone
to talk to, Nicky if it does get debiltating for you and you are afraid
losing your job and you need pay rent etc ,is their any kind help
financially like ssi some kind plan in case it doesn't get better for
you i have to see a pychiatrist and my therapist lft for another job, so
i go to councling once a week, i always see my sisters and wonder why
this happened to me i think ,if they only knew my real pain ,my
boyfriend does he sees what i go through ...please know that you can
always e mail me if need to talk to someone ,i sure wish the OCD group
was still around ,this girl just started around time they stopped the
groupd but she couldn't stop cutting her bangs they were up to her hair
line i felt so bad for her .....Nicky i hope things get better for us
too ,i hope you find some peace also take care please keep in touch Bye
now:} Hug's Ruthie



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