. . .sometimes. when i feel that things are at thier worst. worse than possible.
i soothe myself with the sweet voice of ian. and the haunting echoes of the
music. call me sick. but i wickedly enjoy it. yes. it makes me feel worse and
more depressed. but. . .stronger in the ways of a solution.

this is the only thing that i can listen to. its the voice and the perfect
words that torment and prolong the feelings of human sadness. its real. nothing
about it is fake or shallow. its a reality that i will always cling to.

if we had titles for the days and the nights that we live.

tonight would be 40 miles of tears.

anywhere from 2 miles an hour to 100. i listened to the songs that tore my soul
up more. i felt like flying into the other lane of oncomming traffic. it just
doesnt make me care. only makes me see that i am alone.

i guess what i am trying to say. is that JD has a deep place in my heart. a dark
place in my heart that anyone living in my real life will never understand. yes.
its my dark music. its my music in disguise. but its everything to me. its
something to where you can feel it though your blood and gets into your mind. i
dont know how many of you feel when listening to JD, maybe happy maybe worse.
maybe nothing at all. but. if its anything to me. its a passion of loneliness
and sadness. . . oddly making me feel armed with all that i will ever need to be
alone and isolated.




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