1 A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!. 2 Sardar-why r all these people running? Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running? 3 Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail". 4 Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: Yes! 5 Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go. \nSardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer \n\n\ngave 11cr after \n\n\ndeducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
\n\n\nreturn my 20 Rs \n\n\nback. \n\n\n\n\n 7 \nPostman:- I Have To
Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet \n\n\nSardar: - why did u come so far. Instead u could have \n\n\nposted it.... \n\n\n\n\n 8 \nSardar\'s wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died \n\n\npeacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the \n\n\npassengers in the \n\n\ncar he was driving.. \n\n\n\n\n 9 \nSardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible \n\n\nlooking thing is \n\n\nwhat you call modern art ? \n\n\nArt dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror! \n\n\n\n\n 10 \nSardar was writing something very slowly. \n\n\nFriend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly? \n\n\nSardar: "I\'m writing to my 6 yr old son, he can\'t read very fast.",1] ); //--> 6 Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back. 7 Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted
it.... 8 Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving.. 9 Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ? Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror! 10 Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast. \n\n\n\n 11 \n Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local \n\n\nsardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still \n\n\ndigging for more.. \n\n\n\n\n 12 \n A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not \n\n\nin the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM". \n\n\n\n\n 13 \nWife: You always carry my photo
in your handbag to the office. Why? \n\n\nDarling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears. \n\n\nWife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? \n\n\nDarling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one? \n\n\n\n\n 14 \nGirl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles \n\n\nand lighten your burden. \n\n\nBoy: It\'s very kind of you, darling, But I don\'t have any worries or \n\n\ntroubles. \n\n\nGirl: Well that is because we aren\'t married yet. \n\n\n\n\n 15 \nSon: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to",1] ); //--> 11 Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more.. 12 A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji
replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM". 13 Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Darling : When
there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one? 14 Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet. 15 Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to \n\n\ngive up my seat to a lady. \n\n\nMom: Well, you have done the right thing. \n\n\nSon: But mum, I was sitting on daddy\'s lap. \n\n\n\n\n 16 \n A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
\n\n\nmy father hadn\'t left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly, \n\n\n"I\'d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" \n\n\n\n\n 17 \n Father to son after
exam: "let me see your report card." \n\n\nSon: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." \n\n\n\n\n 18 \n A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".. \n\n\nMy Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said \n\n\nanother. \n\n\nThen little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." \n\n\n\n\n 19 \n Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? " \n\n\nMillionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." \n\n\nInterviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. \n\n\n",1] ); //--> give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. 16 A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a
fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" 17 Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just
borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." 18 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".. My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." 19 Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? " Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. \n\n\nMillionaire: "A Billionaire" \n\n\n\n\n 20 \nIts funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" \n\n\nIt is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself". \n\n\n\n\n 21 \n What is a girl friend? \n\n\nAddition of problems, subtraction of
money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends. \n\n\n\n\n 22 \nGuide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world\'s largest \n\n\nwaterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
\n\n\nsupersonic planes passing by can\'t be heard. \n\n\nNow may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara \n\n\nFalls? " \n\n\n\n\n\n\ n\n 23 \nThree patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. \n\n\nIf the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years. \n\n\nThe doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.",1] ); //--> Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: "A Billionaire" 20 Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" It
is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself". 21 What is a girl friend? Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends. 22 Guide: "I welcome you all
to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?" 23 Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. \n\n\nThe first patient jumps head first
into the pool and breaks both arms. \n\n\nThen the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. \n\n\nThe third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. \n\n\n"Congratulati ons! You\'re a free man. Just tell me why didn\'t you jump?" asked the doctor. \n\n\nTo which the third patient answered, "Well Doc,
I can\'t swim!" \n\n\n\n\n 24 \nAs a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. \n\n\nAnswering, he heard his wife\'s voice urgently warning him, \n\n\n"Herman, I just heard on the news that there\'s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!" \n\n\n"It\'s not just one car," said Herman, "It\'s hundreds of them!" \n\n\n\n\n 25 \nWhy do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? \n\n\nFor the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. \n\n\n\n\n 26 \n What\'s the definition of lawyer? \n\n\nThe larval form of a politician \n\n\n\n\n 27 \n Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine" \n\n\n
\n\n 28",1] ); //--> The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man.
Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor. To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!" 24 As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!" 25 Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. 26 What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician 27 Sardar comes back 2
his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine" 28 \nHow do you recognize a Sardar in School? \n\n\nHe is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board. \n\n\n\n\n 29 \nonce a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the
\n\n\n weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot. \n\n\n\n\n 30 \nSardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. \n\n\nAfter spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn\'t reach in the evening and not the next day either. "\n \n\n\nWhen he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya? \n\n\n(What Happened, My Son?) \n\n\n\n\n\n\ n\n 31\nThe Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, ) \n\n\n aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back! \n\n\n\n\n 32
\nSanta Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens .",1] ); //--> How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board. 29 once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot. 30 Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar,
where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. " When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki
hoya? (What Happened, My Son?) 31 The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, ) aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back! 32 Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens . \n\n\nbecause all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back
at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died \n\n\n\'But I think I know where I\'m going wrong,\' said Santa, \'I think I\'m planting them too deep.\' \n\n\n\n\n 33 \n2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari \n\n\nnafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha \n\n\nhai ki Reliance mai Job.
\n\n\n\n\n 34 \nQ - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? \n\n\nA - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other \n\n\nensures U \n\n\nContinue to do so. \n\n\n\n\n 35 \nSardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne \n\n\nFlag \n\n\nDikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao. \n\n\n\n\n 36 \n.How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & \n\n\ncomes to a conclusion: I\'ll drink poison n let lion eat me. O\' bolo \n\n\nta ra ra. \n\n\n\n\n 37 \nA Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess ",1] ); //--> because all of the
first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died 'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.' 33 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani de Duk
de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha hai ki Reliance mai Job. 34 Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so. 35 Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao. 36 .How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra. 37 A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess
\n\n\nwhat they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua. \n\n\n\n\n38 \nWife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? \n\n\nHusband : Nothing. \n\n\nWife : Nothing...?? U\'ve been reading our marriage certificate 4 an \n\n\nhour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date. \n\n\n\n\n39 \nPapa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character \n\n\nthik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
\n\n\nhoga.. ..??? \n\n\n\n\n40 \n Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki \n\n\nbreak \n\n\nfail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai. \n\n\n\n\n41 \nSardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a \n\n\nPerson asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher \n\n\nStudies \n\n\nYaar.. .!!! \n\n\n\n\n42 \nMayawati came to Lalu\'s House with a Goat..... \n\n\nLalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....?? \n\n",1] ); //--> what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua. 38
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date. 39 Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya hoga....??? 40 Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..? biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai,
Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai. 41 Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!! 42 Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat..... Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....?? Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..?? \n\n\nLalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!! \n\n\n\n52
\n\n43 \nWife : Do you want dinner? \n\n\nHusband : Sure, what are my choices? \n\n\nWife : Yes and no. \n\n\n\n\n44 \nMan : How old is your father? \n\n\nBoy : As old as me. \n\n\nMan : How can that be? \n\n\nBoy : He became a father only when I was born \n\n\n\n\n45 \nTeacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the \n\n\nfield" \n\n\nStudent : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field \n\n\nTeacher : How? \n\n\nStudent : Ladies first. \n\n\n\n\n46 \nCustomer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time? \n\n\nPost Master : Yes sir, it definitely
will. \n\n\nCustomer : I bet you, it won\'t. \n\n\nPost Master : Why not? \n\n\nCustomer : It\'s addressed to Mumbai. \n\n\n\n\n", 1] ); //--> Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..?? Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!! 52
43 Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. 44 Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born 45 Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field" Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How? Student : Ladies first. 46 Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time? Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will. Customer : I bet you, it won't. Post Master : Why not? Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai. \n1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! \n\n\n2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. \n\n\n1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for
superstitions \n\n\n\n\n48 \nMan before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
\n\n\nAfter Marriage He\'s Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network \n\n\nFollows. " \n\n\n\n\n49 \nSanta : That Cow is a Lovely Colour , \n\n\nFarmer : Yes, it\'s a Jersey. \n\n\nSanta : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!! \n\n\ngaya.. . aur main...SWARGWASI. .. \n\n\n\n\n50 \nThey say that when a man holds a woman\'s hand before marriage, it is \n\n\nlove; after marriage it is self-defense \n\n\n\n\n51 \nIt is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as \n\n\nwomen. .and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?! \n\n\n\n\n52 \nIt takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to \n\n\nprotect a country \n\n\nBUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let\'s Thank ......KAAMWALI ",1] ); //--> 47 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for
superstitions 48 Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network Follows." 49 Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour , Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey. Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!! gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI. .. 50 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense 51 It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?! 52 It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to protect a country BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI \n\n\n\n53 \nAfter Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st \n\n\npatient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch \n\n\n& finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI \n\n\n\n\n54 \nWhat is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a \n\n\npositive
side!
\n\n\n\n\n55 \nLadka: Janeman is dil mein aaja. \n\n\nLadki: Sandal nikalu kya? \n\n\nLadka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!! \n\n\n\n\n56 \nIt\'s funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED. \n\n\nIt\'s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered \n\n\n\n\n57 \nA person who surrenders when he\'s WRONG, is HONEST. \n\n\nA person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.. \n\n\nA person who surrenders even if he\'s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.! \n\n\n\n\n58 \nMayawati came to Lallu\'s house with a goat. \n\n\nLallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho? \n\n\nMaya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai? \n\n\n",1] ); //--> 53 After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch & finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI 54 What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side! 55 Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja. Ladki: Sandal
nikalu kya? Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai,
aise hi aaja!! 56 It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered 57 A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.. A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.! 58 Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat. Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho? Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai? \n\n\n\n\n59 \nDo sardar jee motor cycle per bomb lay kar jarahay thay, \n\n\nRastay main speed breaker ki waja say jhatkay lag rahay thay,\n\n\n\ n\n\n\n\n" ,1] ); //--> Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon. 59 Do sardar jee motor cycle per bomb lay kar jarahay thay, Rastay main speed breaker ki waja say jhatkay lag rahay thay, \n\n\n\n\n\n\ n\n\n",1] ); //-->
\n\n\n\n\nSardar jee ka dost bola yaar aaram say gari chalao kahi bomb na \n\n\nphatjain, \n\n\nSardar jee...Oo tussi fiker hi naker assi kay pass dosra bhi tu bomb \n\n\nhay. :) \n\n\n\n\n60
\naik sharabi raatkay waqat apnay dost kay sath jaraha hota hay. rastay \n\n\nmain talab per nazar parhti hay tu us main us ko chand dikhta hay woh \n\n\napny dost say \n\n\nkahta hay yaar ye kia hay.dost kehta hay chand hay. sharabi hairan ho \n\n\nker \n\n\nyaar hum log itnay upper aagaiy \n\n\n\n\n61 \nSanta Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, \'Aap ke paas color TV hai \n\n\nkya?\' \n\n\n\'Haan\ ' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, \'Ek hara vala dena!\' \n\n\n\n\n62 \nA sardar calls another sardar on the phone & says "Hi, Main Bol Raha \n\n\nHoon". \n\n\nThe other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain,Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!" \n\n\n\n\n63 \nEk pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty howe kahin ja raha tha rasty \n\n\n",1] ); //-->
Sardar jee ka dost bola yaar aaram say gari chalao kahi bomb na phatjain, Sardar jee...Oo tussi fiker hi naker assi kay pass dosra bhi tu bomb hay. :) 60 aik sharabi raatkay waqat apnay dost kay sath jaraha hota hay. rastay main talab per
nazar parhti hay tu us main us ko chand dikhta hay woh apny dost say kahta hay yaar ye kia hay.dost kehta hay chand hay. sharabi hairan ho ker yaar hum log itnay upper aagaiy 61 Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?' 'Haan' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!' 62 A sardar calls another sardar on the phone & says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon". The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain,Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!" 63 Ek pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty howe kahin ja raha tha rasty mein ek Aurat se takra betha. \n\n\nAurat chilla kar boli "Break nahi maar
sakty thy kia ??? " \n\n\nPathan herat se... "Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida." \n\n\n\n\n64 \nBurhiya:Aray dekho iss kambakhat maare ko mere sath larki ja rahi he \n\n\nosse nahi dekh raha kab se mujhe taare chala ja ria he...! \n\n\n\n\n65 \nAadmi:Aray. .! amma darasal ye kabaria he purana maal dekh raha he. \n\n\n\n\n66 \nUstaad: Bete, aap jab hanste
hen to aap ke dimples parte hen aap bohat \n\n\nache lagte hen dil chahta he aap ko piyar karloon. \n\n\n\n\n67 \nBacha: Sir, mujhse ziyada dimple to mere ammi ke parte hen. \n\n\n\n\n68 \n<o:p>Aik lerki apny boy friend k sath nai garri main long drive par \n\n\nja rahi thi \n\n\nachanak larki kehnay lagi.....suno ! \n\n\nkia tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho ? \n\n\nkioon nahi.....larkay ne bare fakher se garden akraaii... \n\n\nlarki ne aahista se kaha........ .. \n\n\n"to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo "",1] ); //--> mein ek Aurat se takra betha. Aurat chilla kar boli "Break nahi
maar sakty thy kia ??? " Pathan herat se... "Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida." 64 Burhiya:Aray dekho iss kambakhat maare ko mere sath larki ja rahi he osse nahi dekh raha kab se mujhe taare chala ja ria he...! 65 Aadmi:Aray.. ! amma darasal ye kabaria he purana maal dekh raha he. 66 Ustaad: Bete, aap jab hanste hen to aap ke dimples parte hen aap
bohat ache lagte hen dil chahta he aap ko piyar karloon. 67 Bacha: Sir, mujhse ziyada dimple to mere ammi ke parte hen. 68 <o:p>Aik lerki apny boy friend k sath nai garri main long drive par ja rahi thi achanak larki kehnay lagi.....suno ! kia tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho ? kioon nahi.....larkay ne bare fakher se garden akraaii... larki ne aahista se kaha........ .. "to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo " \n\n\n\n\n69 \nSardar : Apne bete se bola, Bevakuf...kaisa machis leke aaya
hai, ek \n\n\nbhi tili nahin jalti. \n\n\nBeta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu. \n\n\n\n\n70 \nDoctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? \n\n\nSardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.... \n\n\n\n\n71 \nNurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.." \n\n\nSardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!" \n\n\n\n\n72 \nHum Ney Un Ki Yaad Main Ro Ro Kar Matkey Bhar Diye \n\n\nWo
Bewafa Aye Aur Naha Kar Chal Diye \n\n\n\n\n73 \nNeend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam , \n\n\nShayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam \n\n\n\n\n74 \nTujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nehi hai , \n\n\nTere sang ho zindagi aisa bi koi scene nehi hai \n\n\nIss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho \n\n\nmein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho \n",1] ); //--> 69 Sardar : Apne bete se bola, Bevakuf...kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti. Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab
tili test karke laya hu. 70 Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.... 71 Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.." Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!" 72 Hum Ney Un Ki Yaad Main Ro Ro Kar Matkey Bhar Diye Wo Bewafa Aye Aur Naha Kar Chal Diye 73 Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam , Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam 74 Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nehi
hai , Tere sang ho zindagi aisa bi koi scene nehi hai Iss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho \n\n\n75 \nrooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum \n\n\nkio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum \n\n\n\n\n76 \nkal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par, \n\n\ndil mien junoon tha...aankhoon mien khoon tha, \n\n\nuthaya ussay masal dene k liye par
khayal aya, \n\n\nkambakht mien apna hi khoon thA \n\n\n\n\n77 \nhi u all \n\n\ni hv one puppy 4 u \n\n\n1puppy 4 ur friend \n\n\n1 puppy for ur fri ke fri \n\n\nu know why??? \n\n\nbecuz. ......... .. \n\n\najj hi meray dogi nay 10 puppies ko janam dia hai \n\n\n\n\n78 \nCivic VTI jisai kehete ho wo gadi tumaree hai \n\n\nJisey nokia 6600 kehte ho wo cell tumhara hai \n\n\nJinhai tum aamon k baghat kehte ho woh baghain tumharee hain \n\n\nKaho ik di kaho ik din \n\n\nAger sab kuch ye mera hai to sab kuch dedo ik din \n\n\nGari apni mujhe tum dedo cell dedo doosrey din \n\n\nmerey hathon mai
kaghzat rakh ker dafa ho ik din \n\n\nDafa ho ik din dafa ho ik din... \n\n\n\n\n79 \n",1] ); //--> 75 rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum 76 kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par, dil mien junoon tha...aankhoon mien khoon tha, uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya, kambakht mien apna hi
khoon thA 77 hi u all i hv one puppy 4 u 1puppy 4 ur friend 1 puppy for ur fri ke fri u know why??? becuz....... ..... ajj hi meray dogi nay 10 puppies ko janam dia hai 78 Civic VTI jisai kehete ho wo gadi tumaree hai Jisey nokia 6600 kehte ho wo cell tumhara hai Jinhai tum aamon k baghat kehte ho woh baghain tumharee hain Kaho ik di kaho ik din Ager sab kuch ye mera hai to sab kuch dedo ik din Gari apni mujhe tum dedo cell dedo doosrey din merey hathon mai kaghzat rakh ker dafa ho ik din Dafa ho ik din dafa ho ik din... 79 \n\n\nuncle nae ankh mari anute behosh...... :) \n\n\n\n\n80 \nteen dost tha phalla patan dosra panjabe or tisra
memon.Ramzan ka \n\n\nmaina \n\n\ntha dostoo na bolaa ka yar zakat dana ha too app log kasa datta ho.too \n\n\nphala dost patan na bolla ka hum khali maidan ma za kar gol paira \n\n\nbanatha ha or asman ma paisa ushal tha ha zoo
paisa paira ka bhair \n\n\nzata ha \n\n\nwoo zakat kartta ha or zoo andar hotta ha woo humara hotta ha .fer \n\n\npajabe na bolla ka hum ak lakir kachtta ha or paisa ushal tha ha zoo \n\n\npaisa \n\n\nleft hand par zatta ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo right hand par woo \n\n\nhumara. fer memon dost sa pucha ka woo kasa kartta ha too usna kaha ka \n\n\nastag feroollha app log assa zakat kartta ho yea lakir fakir keya ha \n\n\nhum \n\n\nkhali maidan ma zatta ha or asman ma husal tha ha zoo paisa asman ma \n\n\ngheya woo zakat ka or zoo paisa necha aaya woo humara. \n\n\n\n\n81 \nAdmi Naai Se Meri TERE NAAM Wali Cutting Kar Do. \n\n\nNaai Uski Tind Kar Deta Hai \n\n\n",1] ); //--> dabe mein daba dabe mein kharghosh, uncle nae ankh mari anute
behosh...... :) 80 teen dost tha phalla patan dosra panjabe or tisra memon.Ramzan ka maina tha dostoo na bolaa ka yar zakat dana ha too app log kasa datta ho.too phala dost patan na bolla ka hum khali
maidan ma za kar gol paira banatha ha or asman ma paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa paira ka bhair zata ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo andar hotta ha woo humara hotta ha .fer pajabe na bolla ka hum ak lakir kachtta ha or paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa left hand par zatta ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo right hand par woo humara.fer memon dost sa pucha ka woo kasa kartta ha too usna kaha ka astag feroollha app log assa zakat kartta ho yea lakir fakir keya ha hum khali maidan ma zatta ha or asman ma husal tha ha zoo paisa asman ma gheya woo zakat ka or zoo paisa necha aaya woo humara. 81 Admi Naai Se Meri TERE NAAM Wali Cutting Kar Do. Naai Uski Tind Kar Deta Hai \n\n\nNaai Main Kya Karoon Main Ne Dekhi Hi End Se Hai. \n\n\n\n\n82 \nSardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on
a street which has Clock Tower \n\n\nwhen someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. \n\n\nSardarji says
"Yes". \n\n\n"Give me a thousand rupees and I\'ll go get a ladder." The man took the \n\n\nthousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji \n\n\nfigured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again \n\n\nwalking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the \n\n\nclock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I\'ll go get a ladder." \n\n\nThe Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This \n\n\ntime, you wait and I\'ll go get a ladder." \n\n\n\n\n83 \nA lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he \n\n\nfeels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The \n\n\nlawyer turns around. \n\n\n"What the hell do you think you\'re doing?" \n\n\n"I\'m a chiropractor, and I\'m just keeping in practice while I\'m \n\n\nwaiting in line." \n\n\n",1] ); //--> Admi
Ghussay Se Ye Kya Kiya Hai ??? Naai Main Kya Karoon Main Ne Dekhi Hi End Se Hai. 82 Sardarji is in Delhi. He
is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder." 83 A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while
I'm waiting in line." "Well, I\'m a
lawyer, but you don\'t see me screwing the guy in front \n\n\nof me, do you?" \n\n\n\n\n84 \nQ: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? \n\n\nA: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren\'t met. \n\n\n\n\n85 \nSafed saari par jab tum laalbindi lagati ho \n\n\nkhuda ki kasam ambulance nazar aati ho \n\n\nfarq sirf itna hai ke wo ghayal ko le jati hai \n\n\nor tum ghayal kar jati ho \n\n\n\n\n86 \njanab patan: eak dookan per jata hai aor kata hai40 wala chawal hai. \n\n\ndukan daar: je hai \n\n\njanab patan:eak kulo dado \n\n\ndukan daar: je janab \n\n\njanab patan : 40 wala chawal kitna ka diya hai. \n\n\n\n\n87 \nAik haseen-o-jameel adaakara ke ghar aag lag gaee ..aag par qabu panay \n\n\nmain 10 minut lagay.....aor. ......aag bujhany walon per qabu panay \n\n\nmain \n\n\n40 minut lagay \n\n\n\n\n88 \nAik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par phool daal raha hota he",1] ); //--> "Well, I'm a lawyer,
but you don't see me screwing the guy in
front of me, do you?" 84 Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met. 85 Safed saari par jab tum laalbindi lagati ho khuda ki kasam ambulance nazar aati ho farq sirf itna hai ke wo ghayal ko le jati hai or tum ghayal kar jati ho 86 janab patan: eak dookan per jata hai aor kata hai40 wala chawal hai. dukan daar: je hai janab patan:eak kulo dado dukan daar: je janab janab patan : 40 wala chawal kitna ka diya hai. 87 Aik haseen-o-jameel adaakara ke ghar aag lag gaee ..aag par qabu panay main 10 minut lagay.....aor. ......aag bujhany walon per qabu panay main 40 minut lagay 88 Aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par phool daal raha hota he \n\nAur brabar men bhi aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par chawal daal raha \n\n\nhota he. \n\n\nPehla Aadmi doosre se kehta he "
Ye tumhara dost
phool sunghne kab \n\n\nuthe ga?" \n\n\nDoosra dost:"Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga \n\n\n\n\n89 \nuncle aik bachay se kehte hain : beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar \n\n\nmujhe \n\n\npasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga \n\n\nbacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!! \n\n\n\n\n90 \naik dost dosray se : yaar har party mien tum yehi kurta kyun pehantay \n\n\nho \n\n\ndosra dost : kyun ke yeh mera khandani kurta hai mere par dada ne \n\n\npehna \n\n\nphir dada ne pehna phir mere walid ne pehna iss liye main bhi pehanta \n\n\nhoon \n\n\npehla dost : ohh acha .. khier yeh batao k tumhari umar hogai hai \n\n\nshadi \n\n\nki tum kartay kyun nahi ..kya koi larki pasand nahi ati \n\n\ndosra dost : nahi yaar larkiyaan to bohat pasand ati hain \n\n\npehla dost : to phir kyun nahi kartay",1] ); //--> Aur brabar men bhi aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par chawal daal raha hota he. Pehla Aadmi doosre se
kehta he " Ye tumhara dost phool
sunghne kab uthe ga?" Doosra dost:"Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga 89 uncle aik bachay se kehte hain : beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar mujhe pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga bacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!! 90 aik dost dosray se : yaar har party mien tum yehi kurta kyun pehantay ho dosra dost : kyun ke yeh mera khandani kurta hai mere par dada ne pehna phir dada ne pehna phir mere walid ne pehna iss liye main bhi pehanta hoon pehla dost : ohh acha .. khier yeh batao k tumhari umar hogai hai shadi ki tum kartay kyun nahi ..kya koi larki pasand nahi ati dosra dost : nahi yaar larkiyaan to bohat pasand ati hain pehla dost : to phir kyun nahi kartay \n\n\ndosra dost : yaar mere par dada ne nahi ki dada ne nahi ki mere walid \n\n\nne nahi ki to phir main kaise karloon ??
\n\n\n\n\n91 \nBanta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway \n\n\nstation ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
\n\n\n\'Ek Punjab Mail dena.\' demanded the man in front. \n\n\nHe was given a ticket. \'Ek Punjab Mail dena.\' \n\n\nthe second man asked & was handed a ticket. \n\n\nThen came the turn of Banta Singh, \'Ek Punjab female dena!\' \n\n\n\'What do u mean by Punjab female?\' asked the clerk. \n\n\n\'It is for my wife\' replied Banta Singh \n\n\n\n\n92 \nThe Equation: \n\n\n\n\n\n7 Glance \u003d 1 Smile \n\n\n7 Smile \u003d 1 Meeting \n\n\n7 Meeting \u003d 1 Kiss \n\n\n7 Kisses \u003d 1 Proposal \n\n\n7 Proposal \u003d 1 Marriage - \n\n\nAnd that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems. \n\n\nSo beware of glance! \n\n\n\n\n93 \nPlan For Future: \n\n\nTeacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future? \n\n\nRam: I want 2 b a pilot. \n\n\nVinod: I want 2 b a doctor. \n\n\nDeepa: I want 2 b a good mother. \n\n\nRavi: I want 2 help Deepa. ",1] ); //--> dosra dost : yaar mere par dada ne nahi ki dada ne nahi ki mere walid ne nahi ki to phir main kaise karloon ??
91 Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked & was handed a ticket. Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!' 'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk. 'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh 92 The Equation: 7 Glance = 1 Smile 7 Smile = 1 Meeting 7 Meeting = 1 Kiss 7 Kisses = 1 Proposal 7 Proposal = 1 Marriage - And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems. So beware of glance! 93 Plan For Future: Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future? Ram: I want 2 b a pilot. Vinod: I want 2 b a
doctor. Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother. Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa. \n\n\n\n\n94 \nExams: \n\n\nExams are like GIRL FRIENDS; \n\n\n1,Too Many Questions. \n\n\n2,Difficult to Understand. \n\n\n3,More Explanation is Needed. \n\n\n4,Result is
always FAIL! \n\n\n\n\n95 \nA man is dying of Cancer. \n\n\nHis son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u\'re dying of \n\n\nAIDS?" \n\n\nAnswer: "So when I\'m dead no one will dare touch ur mom \n\n\n\n\n96 \nGirlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else \n\n\nBoyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. \n\n\n\n\n97 \nTeacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? \n\n\nPupil : The moon. \n\n\nTeacher : Why? \n\n\nPupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives \n\n\nus light only in the day time when we dont need it. \n\n\n\n\n98 \n",1] ); //--> 94 Exams: Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS; 1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand. 3,More Explanation is Needed. 4,Result is always FAIL! 95 A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?" Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom 96
Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. 97 Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil : The moon. Teacher : Why? Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we dont need it. 98 Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? \n\n\nPupil : A teacher. \n\n\n\n\n99 \nWaiter : Would you like your coffee black? \n\n\nCustomer : What other colours do you have? \n\n\n\n\n100 \nMy father is so old that when he was
in school, history was called current affairs. \n\n\n\n\n101 \nTeacher : Sam, you talk a lot. \n\n\nSam : It\'s a family tradition. \n\n\nTeacher : What do you mean? \n\n\nSam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher. \n\n\nTeacher : What about your mother? \n\n\nSam : She\'s a woman. \n\n\n\n\n102 \nTom
: How should I convey the news to my father that I\'ve failed? \n\n\nDavid: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year\'s performance repeated. \n\n\n\n\n103 \nTeacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? \n\n\nStudent : Brotherly love. \n\n\n",1] ); //--> Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil : A teacher. 99 Waiter : Would you like your coffee black? Customer : What other colours do you have? 100 My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
101 Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot. Sam : It's a family tradition. Teacher : What do you mean? Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher. Teacher : What about your mother? Sam : She's a woman. 102 Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed? David: You just send a telegram:
Result declared, past year's performance repeated. 103 Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student : Brotherly love. \n104 \nTeacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? \n\n\nSam : No sir, I don\'t have to, my mom is a good cook. \n\n\n\n\n105 \nPatient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor? \n\n\nDoctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. \n\n\nYours is the tenth case I\'ve treated.The others all died.
\n\n\n\n\n106 \nTeacher : " Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible." \n\n\nOne of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpaste and put it back into the tube again. \n\n\n\n",1] ); //--> 104 Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. 105 Patient : What are
the chances of my recovering doctor? Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died. 106 Teacher : " Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible." One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpaste and put it back into the tube again. \n\n\n\n\n\n\ n\n\n",1] ); //--> \n\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n\n\n\ n107 \nTeacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?" \n\n\nOne Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday, sametime." \n\n\n\n\n108 \nSardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ? \n\n\nJust to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office \n\n\n\n\n109 \nA woman had 8 sons all named Kevin. On asking how she managed to call one in \n\n\nparticular \n\n\nShe replied: That\'s easy. I call them by their surname !",1] ); //-->
107 Teacher : " Can anybody give
an example of COINCIDENCE ?" One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday, sametime." 108 Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ? Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office 109 A woman had 8 sons all named Kevin. On asking how she managed to call one in particular She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname ! \n\n\n\n\n110 \nkoi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli \n\n\nchamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: \n\n\nLagta hai pahunch gai :-) \n\n\n\n\n111 \nSardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it. \n\n\nWife observes the whole episode \n\n\nAgain he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this? \n\n\nSardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly \n\n\n\n\n112 \nWhat is the full
form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi G-gadha H-hai. \n\n\n\n\n113
\nAngry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mita dunga. \n\n\nAnother sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga. \n\n\n\n\n114 \nSanta singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? \n\n\nBanta singh: Post office. \n\n\n\n\n115 \nSardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya? \n\n\n",1] ); //--> 110 koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai :-) 111 Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes Why are you doing this? Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly 112 What is the full form of singh: S-sardar I-insaan N-nahi
G-gadha H-hai. 113 Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga - mita dunga- mita
dunga. Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga. 114 Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Banta singh: Post office. 115 Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya? Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....." \n\n\n\n\n116 \nSardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge....think. ......... ... \n\n\n"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI" \n\n\n\n\n117 \nSardar:Aap kitna padhe ho? \n\n\nFriend: B.A. \n\n\nSardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte. \n\n\n\n\n118 \nA friend asks sardar how was ur exam? \n\n\nSardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote \'THUNK\'. \n\n\n\n\n119 \nSardar: Doctor help me, mein
jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta. \n\n\nDr: Aaisa kab hota
hai? \n\n\nSardar: Phone karte waqt. \n\n\n\n\n120 \nSardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta \n\n\nlatak ke gaane laga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon latka he, Sardar bola oye side B gaa raha hun. \n\n\n\n\n121 \nSardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?"",1] ); //--> Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....." 116 Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge....think. ......... ... "SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI" 117 Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho? Friend: B.A. Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte. 118 A friend asks sardar how was ur exam? Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
119 Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta. Dr: Aaisa
kab hota hai? Sardar: Phone karte waqt. 120 Sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon latka he, Sardar bola oye side B gaa raha hun. 121 Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?" \n\n\n"Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?" \n\n\n\n\n 122 \nSardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days \n\n\nbecause somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women. \n\n\n\n\n 123 \nOne day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a \n\n\nbuilding when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh \n\n\nyour daughter Preeto just died in an accident" ....... since Sardarji was in panic. \n\n\nNot knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while comming
down when he was near the \n\n\ntenth floor he remembered he didn\'t have a daughter named Preeto.
\n\n\nwhen he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married. \n\n\n\n\n 124 \n*** Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. \n\n\nHis friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was \n\n\nokay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and \n\n\nat last wrote - THUNK !!!" \n\n\n\n\n125 \na sardar was going on the road.Then he sees a man who has met with an",1] ); //--> "Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?" 122 Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women. 123 One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" ....... since Sardarji
was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window while comming down when he was near
the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. when he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married. 124 *** Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last wrote - THUNK !!!" 125 a sardar was going on the road.Then he sees a man who has met with an \n\n\naccident. so he picks him up puts him in his car and takes him to the \n\n\nhospital. Then the sardar realises that the man should have brought by \n\n\nambulance. so he takes him back where he picked him \n\n\nsardar was driving a car. Suddenly one tyre was puncher.he took spear tyre \n\n\nand changed in the place of punchered tyre. but unfortunately he misplaced
\n\n\nthe four screws to fit the tyre on its place . he was so confused ,,now \n\n\nwhat to do,, a pagal(mentally retaired) person was
watching this incident. \n\n\nHe came near to sardar and said," do one thing,, take each one screw from \n\n\nthe remaining three tyre and fit it in this new tyre.There after u can go \n\n\nwhere ever u want to. Sardar was so happy and said aree yaar Duniya tume \n\n\npagal kahate hai lakin i dont think u are a pagal. pagal replied sir,, i m \n\n\na pagal but i m not a sardar. \n\n\n\n\n 126 \nOnce a Sardar ji rescued 6 people from a house burning on fire; \n\n\nBut still the Sardar ji was jailed, why? \n\n\nBecause all the rescued persons were fire fighters \n\n\n\n\n 127 \nTEACHER: Why are you late? \n\n\n",1] ); //--> accident.so he picks him up puts him in his car and takes him to the hospital.Then the sardar realises that the man should have brought by ambulance.so he takes him back where he picked him sardar
was driving a car. Suddenly one tyre was puncher.he took spear tyre and changed in the place of punchered tyre. but unfortunately
he misplaced the four screws to fit the tyre on its place . he was so confused ,,now what to do,, a pagal(mentally retaired) person was watching this incident. He came near to sardar and said," do one thing,, take each one screw from the remaining three tyre and fit it in this new tyre.There after u can go where ever u want to. Sardar was so happy and said aree yaar Duniya tume pagal kahate hai lakin i dont think u are a pagal. pagal replied sir,, i m a pagal but i m not a sardar. 126 Once a Sardar ji rescued 6 people from a house burning on fire; But still the Sardar ji was jailed, why? Because all the rescued persons were fire fighters 127 TEACHER: Why are you late? \n\n\nTEACHER: What sign? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
\n\n\n\n\n 128 \nTEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables! \n\n\n\n\n 129 \nTEACHER: Johny,
how do you spell "crocodile"? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L" \n\n\nTEACHER: No, that\'s wrong \n\n\nL-JOHNY: Maybe it\'s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! \n\n\n\n\n130 \nTEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!! \n\n\nTEACHER: What are you talking about? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it\'s H to O! \n\n\nTEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables! \n\n\n\n\n 131 \nTEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. \n\n\nGEORGE: Here it is! \n\n\nTEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America? \n",1] ); //--> L-JOHNY: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." 128 TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing
your maths sums on the floor? L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables! 129 TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"? L-JOHNY:
"K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! 130 TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O! TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables! 131 TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America? \nJOHNY: George! \n\n\n\n\n 132 \nTEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we \n\n\ndidn\' t have ten years ago. \n\n\nL-JOHNY: Me! \n\n\n\n\n 133 \nTEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: Well,
I\'m a lot closer to the ground then you are. \n\n\n\n\n134 \nL-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark? \n\n\nFATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: Your name on
this report card. \n\n\n\n\n 135 \nTEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? \n\n\nL-JOHNY: Don\'t bite any. \n\n\n\n\n 136 \nTEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I". \n\n\nL-JOHNY: I is... \n\n\nTEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am." \n\n\nL-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." \n\n\n\n\n 137 \nTeacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? " \n\n\nL-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday",1] ); //--> JOHNY: George! 132 TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. L-JOHNY: Me! 133 TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty? L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are. 134 L-JOHNY:
Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write? L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card. 135 TEACHER: How can you
prevent diseases caused by biting insects? L-JOHNY: Don't bite any. 136 TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I". L-JOHNY: I is... TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am." L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." 137 Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? " L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday \n\n\nsametime. " \n\n\n\n\n 138 \n Question: There are 10 elephants swimming in a pond. A boy jumps inside and \n\n\nswims underneath them and counts the number of legs. \n\n\nThere are only 36 legs.HOW?? \n\n\nAnswer: One elephant was swimming BACKSTROKE!! \n\n\n\n\n139 \nL-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? \n\n\nFather : No. Why do you ask that? \n\n\nL-Johnny : Well, where
did you get THIS mummy then? \n\n\n\n\n140 \nTeacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is \n\n\ngreen and one is blue with red spots! \n\n\nL-Johnny: Yes it\'s really
strange. I\'ve got another pair of the same \n\n\nat home. \n\n\n\n\n141 \nTeacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before \n\n\neating? \n\n\nL-Johnny : No sir, I don\'t have to, my mom is a good cook. \n\n\n\n\n142 \nTeacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as \n\n\nyour brother\'s. Did u copy his?",1] ); //--> sametime." 138 Question: There are 10 elephants swimming in a pond. A boy jumps inside and swims underneath them and counts the number of legs. There are only 36 legs.HOW?? Answer: One elephant was swimming BACKSTROKE!! 139 L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? 140 Teacher :
What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home. 141 Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me
frankly do you say prayers before eating? L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. 142 Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? \n\n\nL-Johnny: No, teacher, it\'s the same dog!\n\n\n\n\ n\n\n\n", 1] ); //--> L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog! \n\n
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