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504Fwd: FW: WHEN YOU'RE OLD

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  • martyn menhenick
    Apr 6, 2015

      ---------- Forwarded message ----------
      From: Ma
      ​rtyn​

      Date: Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 1:36 AM
      Subject: Fwd: FW: WHEN YOU'RE OLD
      To:







      Subject: Fwd: WHEN YOU'RE OLD

       

       



       

      A few chuckles for seniors

       

      GETTING OLDER

       

      A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 
      "Is it true," she wanted to know, 
      "that the medication
        you prescribed has to be taken 
      for the rest of my life?"
       
      "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor
        told her. 
      There was a moment of silence
       
      before the senior lady replied,
       
      "I'm wondering, then,
       
      just how serious is my condition
       
      because this prescription is
       
      marked
        'NO REFILLS'.." 

       

      *********************** 
      An older gentleman was on the operating table
       
      awaiting surgery
       and he insisted that his son, 
      a renowned surgeon,
        perform the operation. 
      As he was about to get the
       anesthesia, he asked

      to speak to his son. 
      "Yes, Dad, what is it?"
       
      "Don't be nervous, son;
        do your best, 
      and just remember,
       if it doesn't go well, 
      if something happens to me,
       your mother 
      is going to come and
       
      live with you and your wife...."
       
      (I LOVE THIS!) 
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       
      Aging:
       
      Eventually you will reach a point 
      when you stop lying about your
       
      age
       and start bragging about it. 
      This is so true.
       
      I love
       to hear them say 
      "you don't look that old."
       

       

      --------------------------------- 
      The older we get, the fewer things
       
      seem worth waiting in line for.
       
      (Mostly because we forgot why we
      were waiting in line in the first place
      !!)
      ---------------------------------

      Some people try to turn back their odometers.
       
      Not me!
       
      I want people to know why
        I look this way. 
      I've traveled a long way
       and some of

      the roads weren't paved. 

       

      ******************** 
      When you are dissatisfied
       
      and would like to go back to youth,
       
      think of Algebra.
       

       

      ------------------------------- 
      One of the many things 
      no one tells you about aging
       
      is that it is such a nice change
       
      from being young.
       
      ~~~~~~~~~~~
       
      Ah, being young is beautiful,
       
      but being old is comfortable.
       
      *********
       
      First you forget names,
       
      then you forget faces.
       
      Then you forget to pull up
       
      your zipper...
       it's worse when 
      you forget to pull it down.
       
      ````````````````
       
      Two guys, one old, one young,
       
      are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
       
      when they collide. 
      The old guy says to the young guy,
       
      "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
       

      and I guess I wasn't paying attention 
      to where I was going."
       
      The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a
       coincidence. 
      I'm looking for my wife, too...
       
      I can't find her and I'm getting a little
       desperate." 
      The old guy says,
      "Well, maybe I can help you find her...
       
      what does she look like?"
       
      The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,
       
      with red hair,
       blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, 
      long legs,
       and is wearing short shorts. 
      What does your wife look like?'
       
      To which the old guy says, "Doesn't
       
      matter,
       --- let's look for yours." 
      (ADORABLE)
       

       

      ********************* 
      (And this final one especially for me,)
       
      "Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder
       
      and Your hand over my mouth!"
       

       

      Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . .
      stick around awhile . . .
       
      it will!