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Moonlighting

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  • melowmeldrew
    Sorry I m deaf as the proverbial and just having a gander (tripped over a link at the RNID, well, they will leave them lying around !). For some reason I
    Message 1 of 6 , Jul 1, 2004
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      Sorry I'm deaf as the proverbial and just having a gander (tripped
      over a link at the RNID, well, they will leave them lying
      around !). For some reason I feel better suited here than a deaf
      site, but deaf I am so here goes.

      I'd almost forgotten what HI issues were until reading them here. I
      feel I shouldn't being deaf BE here, but I've done the lead up !
      There seems a little fear about when sign users wander around, in
      fairness it's all some have. Most of it (And I went through all you
      lot are going through now), is fear if you sign a little you get
      classed as deaf, and being viewed DEAF, is major fear with HOH of
      course. 'Hand wavers ?' NO thanks, TOO much profile, we want to
      HIDE that we can't hear don't we? NOT draw attention to it. It also
      hammers HOME to you just where you may be heading.

      I lived in denial (Not Egypt !), I was going deaf for 27 YEARS,
      guess who got the worse end ? NOT all deaf people use sign, or BSL,
      I don't, and been profoundly deaf 20 odd years, it's not
      compulsary. SE/ SEE / SSE / BSL / serbo-croat ! Horses for course
      if you want to talk TO a deaf person sign is as good as anything
      else.

      I use a a mix of lip-reading, a bit of sign, mime, bloody mindness,
      but mostly TEXT. The thing about communication that bugs us most is
      we feel we will have to choose another life and lose what we had,
      isn't it ? and most of us want to stay with the hearing crowd we
      know, even although for a lot, this is already past tense. I hung
      on by by finger-nails for yonks, and all I got was arm-ache.

      The slow withdrawl from crowds, the change of lifestyle to a more
      isolated one, the mumbling, the SHOUTING !, the ever increasing urge
      to buy a hearing aid so small you need an electron microscope to see
      it, in case someone sees it and you're rumbled, then sheer panic
      when you can't find a battery to fit ! Acceptance is the issue, I
      have to adnit after half a lifetime I still aint cracked it.

      Any suggestions ?
    • Alan
      Hi Mr Meldrew Great letter, like the humor, I m same as you deaf as a post, went deaf 5 years ago after a 10 year struggle . But I must say I don t
      Message 2 of 6 , Jul 6, 2004
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        Hi Mr Meldrew

        Great letter, like the humor, I'm same as you deaf as a post, went deaf 5 years ago after a 10 year struggle . But I must say I don't understand the idea of a micro hearing aid. I would wear a neon sign on my head saying D E A F. if it helps. People I know with hearing dogs all say that people try that bit harder to communicate because they can see at once the situation. Trying to hide the fact that the ears don't work always ends up in trouble when you nod and smile at the news from the speaker that he has cancer and only ten days to live.

        Alan


        ---------------------------------
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        Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!

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      • LJ
        MM...I wonder if I can call it self pride? I certainly have it. Or is it the feeling of being inadequat. Wanting to continue to fit in with the hearies. LJ.
        Message 3 of 6 , Jul 7, 2004
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          MM...I wonder if I can call it self pride? I certainly have it. Or
          is it the feeling of being inadequat. Wanting to continue to fit in
          with the hearies.

          LJ.

          --- In hardofhearinguk@..., "melowmeldrew"
          <melowmeldrew@y...> wrote:
          > Sorry I'm deaf as the proverbial and just having a gander (tripped
          > over a link at the RNID, well, they will leave them lying
          > around !). For some reason I feel better suited here than a deaf
          > site, but deaf I am so here goes.
          >
          > I'd almost forgotten what HI issues were until reading them here.
          I
          > feel I shouldn't being deaf BE here, but I've done the lead up !
          > There seems a little fear about when sign users wander around, in
          > fairness it's all some have. Most of it (And I went through all
          you
          > lot are going through now), is fear if you sign a little you get
          > classed as deaf, and being viewed DEAF, is major fear with HOH of
          > course. 'Hand wavers ?' NO thanks, TOO much profile, we want to
          > HIDE that we can't hear don't we? NOT draw attention to it. It
          also
          > hammers HOME to you just where you may be heading.
          >
          > I lived in denial (Not Egypt !), I was going deaf for 27 YEARS,
          > guess who got the worse end ? NOT all deaf people use sign, or
          BSL,
          > I don't, and been profoundly deaf 20 odd years, it's not
          > compulsary. SE/ SEE / SSE / BSL / serbo-croat ! Horses for course
          > if you want to talk TO a deaf person sign is as good as anything
          > else.
          >
          > I use a a mix of lip-reading, a bit of sign, mime, bloody
          mindness,
          > but mostly TEXT. The thing about communication that bugs us most
          is
          > we feel we will have to choose another life and lose what we had,
          > isn't it ? and most of us want to stay with the hearing crowd we
          > know, even although for a lot, this is already past tense. I hung
          > on by by finger-nails for yonks, and all I got was arm-ache.
          >
          > The slow withdrawl from crowds, the change of lifestyle to a more
          > isolated one, the mumbling, the SHOUTING !, the ever increasing
          urge
          > to buy a hearing aid so small you need an electron microscope to
          see
          > it, in case someone sees it and you're rumbled, then sheer panic
          > when you can't find a battery to fit ! Acceptance is the issue, I
          > have to adnit after half a lifetime I still aint cracked it.
          >
          > Any suggestions ?
        • Mervyn James
          Alan wrote: Hi Mr Meldrew Great letter, like the humor, I m same as you deaf as a post, went deaf 5 years ago after a 10 year struggle . But
          Message 4 of 6 , Jul 7, 2004
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            Alan <a49g@...> wrote:


            Hi Mr Meldrew

            Great letter, like the humor, I'm same as you deaf as a post, went deaf 5 years ago after a 10 year struggle . But I must say I don't understand the idea of a micro hearing aid. I would wear a neon sign on my head saying D E A F. if it helps. People I know with hearing dogs all say that people try that bit harder to communicate because they can see at once the situation. Trying to hide the fact that the ears don't work always ends up in trouble when you nod and smile at the news from the speaker that he has cancer and only ten days to live.

            Alan





            Hi Alan



            Thanks for the post,the bit at the end rings a sadly familiar bell I too was told a friend had died and was nodding and smiling like an idiot,heaven knows what people thought,the worst I suspect. It just doesn't pay to hide the truth, mostly it takes something really drastic before you admit to it.

            Do the 'Deaf' REALLY Understand the total fear we get at losing hearing ? No they never will sadly. No amount of law, 'coping', 'awareness etc, or anything else really works does it ?

            The trauma is never treated for what it is, and everyone can be unkind on both sides, (Sometimes accidentally, sometimes because they haven't a clue), when you aren't getting to grips with it, so you can't win ! You feel obliged to say Yep I've gone from hearing to Deaf it's a doddle erm...... NOT :D

            Meldrew



            ---------------------------------
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          • Mervyn James
            LJ wrote: MM...I wonder if I can call it self pride? I certainly have it. Or is it the feeling of being inadequat. Wanting to continue to
            Message 5 of 6 , Jul 7, 2004
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              LJ <Email@...> wrote:
              MM...I wonder if I can call it self pride? I certainly have it. Or
              is it the feeling of being inadequat. Wanting to continue to fit in
              with the hearies.

              LJ.


              I'm a bit iffy about referring to 'hearies' to be honest as I was one myself, with utmost respect I wonder if we help any by using the term ? The 'cultural' term is 'Deafies' (Another American import), but the way others say it sounds derogatory too. If we are to live together to crack the deaf or Deaf thing sowe can all advance, I suspect a lot of unwelcome compromise will have to be done,I'm sceptical at present and can't see it happening much. To sign or not to sign, why is it a question ? (Apologies to WS !).

              Meldrew



              ---------------------------------
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            • Saffron
              Great message Alan too! Meldrew, I believe most of us in this group do not try hard to hide their hearing loss. In fact, I try hard to make people aware of it
              Message 6 of 6 , Jul 8, 2004
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                Great message Alan too!

                Meldrew, I believe most of us in this group do not try hard to hide
                their hearing loss. In fact, I try hard to make people aware of it
                and to encourage all hard-of-hearing people to be open about their
                hearing loss because I believe it will benefit us all. I started this
                group 3 years ago and I never hid my hearing loss as adult, so this
                is not why we are here (ie, "to hide"). The main reason for starting
                this group is because as non-signers and people not accepted in the
                Deaf community, we needed to find a platform to support one other,
                exchange experiences and ideas, etc. People here will be at different
                phases through their struggle as hearing impaired people, some still
                in denial, some who have managed to completely come to terms with it
                and most somewhere in between... and this has to be respected. It can
                take a long time to come to terms with hearing loss. Of course, if we
                can help one another achieve it, then this group will have achieved
                its main goal.

                Sorry, writing in a hurry and no time to re-read myself, as at
                library and just run out of allocated time! (computer broke down at
                home).

                Saffron

                --- In hardofhearinguk@..., Alan <a49g@y...> wrote:
                >
                >
                > Hi Mr Meldrew
                >
                > Great letter, like the humor, I'm same as you deaf as a post, went
                deaf 5 years ago after a 10 year struggle . But I must say I don't
                understand the idea of a micro hearing aid. I would wear a neon sign
                on my head saying D E A F. if it helps. People I know with hearing
                dogs all say that people try that bit harder to communicate because
                they can see at once the situation. Trying to hide the fact that the
                ears don't work always ends up in trouble when you nod and smile at
                the news from the speaker that he has cancer and only ten days to
                live.
                >
                > Alan
                >
                >
                > ---------------------------------
                > Do you Yahoo!?
                > Yahoo! Mail - 50x more storage than other providers!
                >
                > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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